Questions to ask yourself while dating

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shot by John Lee

grip - Melissa Gasca

sound - Jason Mobley

edited by Ben Chinapen

[nolitimeremessorem]

"Can I accept this person as they are today?"

This. One of the best things I learned in life is that you cannot change people, only yourself. Once I realised that it saved me a lot of heartache.

[RevinDay]

"If you have a desire to change them, you're not really seeing them."
I've realized this is why I felt unwanted from my partner, cause they never accepted me for who I am, but also that there's got to be someone out there with the insight to come to this conclusion too and accept me and i'll have so much more respect for that person in return.

[sunny.jasmin]

What side of me do they bring out? is such an important question. If they bring out the worst in you they are not the right person for you. This applies to both in their presence and absence. Be with someone who brings out the best version of you, grow together and watch your relationship flourish. Start with yourself. You are worthy of love ❤

[BkhammoYou]

Agreed. Dating should be a relaxing experience for both parties involved, not stressful like a job interview.

[lexie]

I just finished the book « Attached » and it talked about all of this and it’s been so helpful goin into a new season of dating.

[nicolosari]

It would be amazing to date someone like anna, not just because she's amazing but because of how much I'd learn about myself in the process

[yunasmolbean]

these weekly bite-sized comprehensive relationship advice videos are so refreshing and I am all 👏 here 👏 for it!! thank you Anna for helping us bring out our secure attachment styles and be our highest selves 🫶

[shadowmoon]

Yes! One of the big indicators I've learned to look for is "how do I feel around them?? Like, REALLY feel?" Sometimes, even when I can't define it at first, I will notice that I sometimes find myself with people who make me really uncomfortable, insecure, or vulnerable. I eventually find out why. It's important not to ignore those feelings!

[avrileibeck]

I find that things actually really help me in my FRIENDships too

[katarina_]

Its like you literally read my mind, i definitely needed to hear this today. Thank you, Anna ❤️

[ganndalf]

This is so true, my own issues almsot made me lose someone who was actually very good for me but I couldn't see it because I didn't know who I was, what was my personality and what was my trauma and what I really wanted. Luckily I manged to push myself and learn about it and it made my relationships amazing.

[oneworldonehome]

_"The real question in relationships is, “What can we do together?” The more you learn about yourself—about your thinking and your behavior—and the more objective you become about yourself, the more objective you can become about the other person and the clearer your discernment will be. This clarity of discernment is very important because people are not what they seem. In almost all cases, people misrepresent themselves unless they are well developed and quite mature. Knowledge is your guide here, so you do not need to tax your mind in deliberation. But you do need to look, to listen and to learn."_

- Relationships and Higher Purpose » Chapter 12: Establishing Relationships. (free online book by MV Summers, highly recommend)

[FilippiniProductions]

I agree with that potential point all the way. Otherwise, when dating, ask yourself, "What can we build together?" as opposed to "what can the other person provide me?"

[tashquintero]

Anna, thank you for sharing experiences and perspectives. I always love learning and growing from your channel. I have been reading about emotional and physical sexuality and its influence on compatibility. I think any information that helps you understand yourself from within is a gift. ❤

[echillykahlil]

That is a gorgeous shirt, I really like the red in roses. It sounds a lot like a book I've been reading recently, thanks for the advice, I'm glad to hear your attachment issues have eased, it must be so much more peaceful, have a good day Anna

[samanthajarboe]

I feel like it works for all relationships even with finding friends or looking into current friendships.

[LivT]

You’re one of my online therapists ❤ your growth changes my life 🙏🏼

[joaoalbertofn]

Guess I'll start watching your videos and jotting down notes from now on.
Can't let these things slip my mind anymore.

[missbork]

Wake up babe Anna Akana posted gold again

[jasongates-]

One question I have to ask myself is, "Is this lust, or do I really like the person?" Another is, "Am I really sure I like them, or do I just THINK I'm sure?" Those are two questions I have to ask myself, if I ever get the chance to proceed in this topic.

I agree, that we shouldn't go into a relationship to change the person. We should go into the relationship because we want the relationship, and we want it with that person. I agree. Also, the person is responsible to change himself, not us to change them. And, he will only truly change if he decides to, not because someone is changing him.