5 Eye Contact Tips | How To Communicate With Your Eyes

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Maintain eye contact- seems simple right? Wrong! It takes skill and finesse to do it right. Aaron Marino of alpha m. says it's comes down to a balance of eye contact and breaking gaze. It's uncomfortable talking to one who locks and loads.

Eye contact is good but if you ever talk to that guy that takes to a new level of intensity, it's too much! But for those who look everywhere but you, you tend not to trust them. There's a delicate balance that needs to take place.Eye contact is critical component of the communication process: maintaining eye contact as well as properly breaking gaze balance. Here's how to do it:

1. Holding a gaze should be 5 -10 seconds or someone can feel uncomfortable. Break gaze and take it back. It makes the conversation feel better and less intense.

2. If you are speaking to multiple people, group, or audience, shift for every 2 -3 seconds. Constantly be moving and adjusting. Look people in the eye.

3. When you are the one listening, the same 5 -10 second rule applies. When you break, make an acknowledgement.

4. Pay attention to what your eyes and eye brows are saying. Facial expressions are a big deal with how we are received.

5. When you break gaze, don't look toward your phone. Put your phone in your pocket or bag.

[heihei]

If i try my best to keep eye contact, i can't hear a word that they say

[bdpchamp]

Was on a date and was listening to the girl tell me a work story, and in the midst of her speaking my phone(which was on the table) obnoxiously dinged with a mail notification. without breaking eye contact I put the phone into my pocket and leaned in ever so closer to show her my interest. Later that night she expressed to me how flattering and attractive she found the simple gesture to be. Take notes from this guy fellas

[arkadeepbanerjee]

instructions weren't clear, now i'm sitting in jail for apparently harassing my neighbor's goat :(

[Designer_Dude]

Technology is amazing I can actually look up how to get over my introvert self... I hope you know how much some of us appreciate your videos, man. Thank you!

[TheCoolwhipped]

Spot on Alpha! I rarely have that experience of someone refusing to break eye contact, but I often talk to people who refuse to make eye contact. Another tip I would suggest is that when you break eye contact, move a little bit. A head nod/shake, a little rock or change of stance, or simply switching your drink to the other hand makes the break in eye contact seem more purposeful and less like an avoidance of awkwardness.

[kevincordeiro]

Great video Aaron - thanks for uploading! Two tips i've adopted to reduce the stress of eye contact is to use 'soft eyes' and to 'imagine lending a hand'. These are especially helpful if you're introverted or easily stressed when making eye contact.

Soft Eyes: Try focusing on the entire person - including the surrounding area - while looking at their eyes, instead of being laser focused on their eyes. This makes it easier to make eye contact, and will also make you come across as less intense.

Imaging lending a hand: Imagine the other person had a terrible day and needs your help. This tricks your brain into feeling more empathy, and shifts your focus away from anxiety and towards being more attentive and empathic. You'll naturally start making more eye contact as a side effect.

[scootcha]

If someone looks at a phone while I am speaking to them, they immediately lose my respect.

[gamesboyable]

When i have eye contact with a guy i feel gay.. thats why i always look away

[stefanniawalker]

Thanks for this video! I have absolutely terrible social anxiety, eye contact is a real challenge.

[iDaYM]

I can't eye contact with somebody even for 3 seconds 😔 #shys_Problems

[vtwl]

I've never learned this technique and have make dozens of mistakes in my past, like losing out on a sales pitch or lost respect from a friend partly due to eye contact communication, i salute you sir for bringing up such a uncommon subject where they never teach you in schools. 🖒

[harryhan]

How to dance like a gentleman, that must be your next video man!

[_wlc_chuarenjie]

1.Don't have eye contact for more than 5-10 seconds
2.In speaking to a large audience, make sure you have eye contact two seconds or less with each person
3.When you break gaze, still let the person know you are listening to them
4.know how your eyebrows look when you are maintaining eye contact
5.Do not look at phone when breaking eye contact

[najmiwira]

Yo, Alpha. Was wondering whether you could do a video about interviews

[katiecraighan]

this is so good. i really struggle with eye contact being able to look people in the eye so constantly looking away and looking rude. the look away for a second or two and make an interested sound has saved my life!

[dumbcat]

You can also break gaze by closing your eyes and smiling a little (as if you are deeply pondering what the other person just said). Keep your eyes shut for a beat or two, then open your eyes slowly while still smiling. Try it. It's pretty cool.

[mila-iylv]

I used to hate eye contact but now I can do it easily while I have a conversation with someone.

[anasantiago]

It’s simple. Don’t stress about it and it won’t be weird. Having to count the seconds you are having eye contact is stressful and you might act even more weird. Just follow your intuition; don’t be afraid of looking people in the eye. Listen to what they are saying. You have eyes to look. So look. Be happy.

[duxtons]

Thank you alpha.m! The videos you are putting up genuinely helped me a lot and I have regained so much self-confidence and self-esteem. Do make more of these as I really enjoy them!

[prasannakumar]

I like the way he says "yo!!"