THE HARD TRUTH YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR

Sorry if this hurts but it's true.

Thank you for watching! We are a couple of brothers from Nashville, Tennessee who have enjoyed making videos together since we were little kids. We've gotten married to a couple of awesome girls since then, and they show up on the channel sometimes too! If you would like to get in touch, feel free to shoot us an email. We love hearing from people! Send us an email!

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[Cationna]

You are not responsible for your parents' relationship. Not at all. Not even a little bit. If they make you their therapist, they're hurting you. Period.

[bethanycleator]

“Don’t every single day think you will chip away at a person - Calmly tell them like it is and they’ll leave if they want to.” Well said! So true! 👏👏

[emilyjoerger]

First story: I had to tell my mom that if she wasn’t actually going to leave my dad (Biblically justifiable) then it wasn’t appropriate for me to be constantly listening to their marriage problems. I told her she needed to talk to a therapist or friends that were married and her own age. She actually took that to heart. We as a family have still had a lot of conversations about what’s happening in their marriage but it’s less daily complaining and more productive.

[ZachFrost]

Phenomenal answer to JJ! My heart breaks for him, as I can relate to what he's going through. All glory to God, He has given me freedom from looking at that crap. I'm obviously no expert at this stuff, but my best advice for him is to just *stop.* Don't schedule a time that you will plan to quit, just stop, today, right now. Don't look at it like it's some huge life-changing experience when you stop, because when you inevitably encounter a temptation and fall again (and you will stumble a few times, trust me), you'll completely lose heart and think you're hopeless because you failed again after "really changing this time." Don't count your streak of not doing it; don't think of yourself highly for quitting. Just stop watching it, and take it one day at a time. Don't fall into the mindset of "oh, I made it one full month" or whatever amount of time. Simply take it day by day. You'll have some sleepless nights at first, but man, it is so much better going to bed with a clean conscience. I'll be praying for you, JJ (if you're reading), and all of you struggling with this. The odds are stacked against us; between all the ads these girls post on social media and even what we have to deal with in real life it is a constant struggle. But greater is He who lives in you than he who is living in the world. You are all more than conquerors through Christ. If there is any way I can be of any encouragement to any of y'all, feel free to reach out. Thank you, Jordan and Josh, for such a gracious, wise answer to a very difficult question.

[tarbearskitchen]

To JJ: I would delete every app from your phone that gives you temptation. And give your laptop to someone for safe keeping until you have broken your addiction. Or have someone hold you accountable to only use your laptop in public places. Maybe that seems extreme. But if you feel like you're dying inside, extreme measures are worth it! You can do this!

[TheVonWeasel]

wow, double whammy today. Both questions have been a part of my life. Jordan answered the first question perfectly.
As for the second question, the only way to overcome lust is to flee from it. It's the only sin that the Bible says not to fight, but to run to God.
Trying to do it on your own is pride, and you will fall over and over again like I did.
Step 1 needs to be to seek God every day, set an alarm on your phone for every hour and pray. As you move closer to God, you'll find all the loneliness and depression that triggers you to relapse is replaced with true joy such that you don't feel like you need pr0n just to feel something.
That's the only thing that has set me free. Accountability partners and software all failed.

[TheYouTubeGame]

"Your parents don't love you." I keep chuckling at that! The way you answered each questions was really good.
To JJ:
Exposing darkness to the light makes it flee. There's more to it than that, but that's where you're at. For me, God had to go through things layer by layer until it was time to actually deal with it. Telling someone you trust is one of the first steps. And to have people know about it and know you and still love you is worth the risk of being known.

[larissanunes]

For the first messyge: you should never be someone’s therapist, in any situation (unless you’re a psychologist lol). You can give people advice from time to time, but it’s not your job to fix their innermost problems. In this situation, you could MAYBE offer a shoulder to cry on. The most you can do is be there for them (in the sense of like collateral damage, like a room to sleep in for the night or a ride out of a nasty situation) and pray. Other than that, if they don’t wanna put in the effort to fix themselves, don’t try to do it for them. It’s not your job, it’s not your guilt to carry

[micahfisher]

JJ, I would encourage you to find some really solid guys to hold you accountable. I know it's scary to share this with anyone, but even the best of guys has struggled with this temptation, and wants to lift their brothers up in their own struggles.

[alyssamorgan]

In reference to the first question, my childhood was somewhat similar in my being my mom’s therapist. I was told too much and I was constantly trying to make her feel better. When in reality, she kept wanting to be the victim and not change. She became codependent on me and I in being responsible for her well-being. I even grew bitter in my adult years. It’s not healthy. My therapist at the time asked me if there’s anything salvageable from the relationship. I KNOW that my mom personally never intentionally does what she does. She’s stuck in her thinking. She’s not self aware. My sister was the intentional one in being psychologically abusive (what I actually went to therapy for). And that’s why I still talk to my Mom and maintain a relationship and not my sister. My mom does love me but can’t wrap her head around what she has done to me. So I set boundaries, clear things that I won’t do anymore for my well being and also for hers. Coddling doesn’t work, sometimes they need to figure it out alone. As for my intentional sister, as it stands I see her at holidays but we don’t have a personal relationship. That is healthy is for me right now. And I pray for them both a lot. God can handle their mess even when I can’t. I really hope this daughter can find healing in the future. Family relationships can be so difficult.

[sharayalee]

Wow! Great episode and great advice! Jordan you may be “naive” when it comes to things like pop culture and other things but you are so grounded in truth. Keep doing what you do ❤

[cheese]

Keeping JJ in my prayers. Through God, you've got this

[musicalnomad]

First story: the person needs to get some counselling so they can know how to set healthy boundaries with their parents. They’ve grown up with not being taught what a healthy parent/child relationship looks like.

[ElleMakesAHome]

It’s is ABSOLUTELY INAPPROPRIATE for parents to use their children as counselors. 🙅🏻‍♀️ I’m a mom of 7, and would NEVER put my kids in the middle of things between my husband and myself. You’re never supposed to speak negatively about your spouse to your children even if you’re getting a divorce because the child is 1/2 the other parent and can internalize that. You are not responsible for your parent’s relationship or happiness.!

[mcnoneya]

I think it’s rare for families to actually have things in common I look at my siblings and I think if we weren’t family we would run in COMPLETELY different circles. I once asked my mom “if we weren’t related would you hang out with me?” She got really awkward and would only reply with “that’s not a fair question”. I’m like “well that just answered my question” she talks to my brother for like an hr twice a week not including grandma babysitting time where she spends over 12hrs at their home with them. And she talks to me roughly 2 hours a week in total and I LIVE with her. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[TheMennomilist]

Great advice. . .again. forever. and ever. amen.

[KesGaming]

Yo, that first guy's Messyge sounds just like me!

Except the roles are reversed, my Mom is the loud, opinionated one and my dad is the quiet, easygoing set-in-his-ways person.

[val_smiling]

The guy wants help but he doesn't want the truth to come out. You can't have both. Tell your pastor so he can set you up with an accountability partner that is a solid Christian that you can rely on to be honest with you.
Definitely feels like you're in the right place (repentant) to be able to get over the addiction!

[gghf]

This may be the first messyges where I think you said some not even funny solid good advice.
But it may be because I could relate to the first letter so much and the advice was spot on.

[MariankGonzalez]

Girls like you to have vulnerability with them, amen Jordan! But, my boyfriend is so hurt that whenever he is vulnerable with me and I use language like "hurt" and "vulnerable" describing him, he gets upset and says that I'm hurting his male ego and tells me I don't know gow to relate to men. :( I've been avoiding using the language now by saying "upset" instead of "hurt" and I hope to treat him the way I should. I hope he and I could get to the point where we could relate to each other well and connect well.