Sleep, Anxiety, and Insomnia: How to Sleep Better When You're Anxious

It can be hard to fall asleep when you're anxious, and insomnia can make anxiety worse. But you can train your brain to worry less and to sleep better when you're anxious by using the skill of deliberate worry.

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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.

In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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[braincell]

When i try falling asleep, my mind brings up everything ive done wrong and diffrent ways i couldve done certain things and this just goes on for a while until i hear the birds chriping and its morning.

[bbdd_]

Does anyone heart goes crazy when they try to sleep ? Like i can hear my heart bumping blood all over my body !! N that shit makes me anxious!

[kokoslifediary]

I wanted to share my experience and how I overcame sleep anxiety:
I couldn’t sleep well for more than a year. I either slept 3-4 hours per night or I woke up so many times. I had always woke up feeling restless, tired and having a headache. I was having panic attacks out of nothing every often and tight chest and heart beating fast all days. When it came to bed time, I got soo scared. I was thinking ‘ shite, is it something I would live with forever? Am I going to die soon?’ I tried a lot of stuffs like supplements to relax my body, cutting out coffee and tea, no alcohol, eating healthy, doing exercise everyday, and bed hygiene, etc. And nothing helped. I then realized I did all of those with an expectation that I would sleep well at nights. Because I expected I would sleep well, I felt so frustrated and upset when I couldn’t.
This is what learnt:
I have still continued doing those things above but without any expectations that I would sleep well at night
I started to meditation 🧘‍♀️- life saver!!
I started journaling where I proceed my thoughts and feelings during the day
I learnt acceptance - if I can’t sleep it is ok. I have prepared a list of things I would do if I can’t sleep -journaling, making a cup of warm tea and reading my favorite books.
I tried to make my brain thinking ‘if I don’t sleep i will have more time to do all the things I like which is great!!’

I tried not check the o’clock but also not to stay in the bed too long if I couldn't fall asleep as then later my brain would associate bed with thinking time

The key is Patience - for me it took months to normalise my sleep so please be patient with yourself. Always remember all the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing now won’t stay forever. They will come and go. Believe me! I can do it and you can do it too! :)

[sheilaabraham]

I found a perfect way to fall asleep and it has really worked for me. Lie down on your side, whichever side is comfortable for you and consciously relax all your muscles, especially focus on forehead, eyes and jaws. Once you are fully relaxed, tuck in your head slightly my moving your chin closer to your chest. This is a restful posture and helps you to fall asleep easily. Next focus on your breath. Breathe consciously and deeply. As you breathe in, say "in" in your mind and as you breathe out, say "out" in your mind. Keep your full focus and attention on your breath and you will fall asleep in under 2 minutes!! This routine really worked for me and hope it helps other people too...

[konoplin]

i have insomnia and my anxiety is the worse. I start to look at the clock and see the time pass and i start thinking "everybody is asleep and im not" and the worse when I start to hear birds chirp and light to come up, I go crazy.

[piscos]

The thing I worry is "will i be able to fall asleep or I'll spend another night sleepless"

[QtipIV]

Ok guys, I’ve been reading through these comments and I feel I gotta share how I overcame this shit. So I had been dealing with depression due to a traumatic event 2.5 years ago. That depression turned to anxiety and that anxiety turned to insomnia. I was having panic attacks over hypothetical situations and just worrying about everything, mainly about what I’ve done wrong in the past and what I should’ve done back then to change that. I got tired of always thinking about that shit so I would constantly just try to push those thoughts out of my mind and try to forget about the situation entirely, since it had been stressing me out like crazy. Out of nowhere, I couldn’t sleep for days so I got fed up and eventually came across this video. A huge thing that I had to realize was that I hadn’t been facing my stress the right way. Even though I was “thinking” about all the stuff that had happened, I wasn’t actually DEALING with it. In a sense I was still running away from my problems and my body was telling me to deal with it through the only way it knew how...insomnia. I wasn’t dealing with my stress during the day, so my body was telling me to deal with it at night. I ended up devoting a time during the day (for me it’s in the shower) to just think about everything that bothers me and to ACCEPT all the bad shit that had happened to me. Throughout these years, I had constantly been praying for peace, and I was finally able to realize that peace is NOT perfection in your life. Peace is your willingness to accept life for all that it truly is: the good AND ESPECIALLY the bad. Once I had accepted that bad things happen and that is OK, I started to do more self care activities like exercising, talking with friends, etc. That night I got in the bed telling myself “I probably won’t fall asleep tonight and that’s OK. Just enjoy life and understand that even though you have gone through so much bullshit in the past, you are STILL HERE”. That night I felt my body get heavy, which actually would have caused me to have a panic attack in the past, but since I had a better outlook on my life, I accepted it and experienced a sense of peace that I had never felt before. I slept a total of 7 hours that night and have been getting a good nights rest ever since.

[ujjwalshukla]

I couldn't Sleep for past 3-4 days. But, this video has acted like a ray of hope in my life. Really thanks for such a beautiful video.

[yureimyciriaco]

Me finding out that not everyone's brain torture them before sleep: 👁👄👁

[peppybreyer]

I cried watching this. Someone finally gets it. I’ve been fighting with my head for years and no one gets it. Thank you

[MellyMustacheRawr]

my anxiety literally never stop, i’m always thinking about the things that are wrong and it on repeat throughout the day and night. i cant escape them and ive tried everything

[reillypaintsfrogs]

I have ADHD and severe anxiety, so sleeping has always been a huge struggle for me. but the sleep routine is CRUCIAL!!! I found a way to force myself to fall asleep on command and it may be helpful to some of y’all. A long time ago, when I was trying to distract myself from worrying so that I could fall asleep, I started watching history videos. I found that their voices were super calming and I enjoyed learning about it but it was slow paced enough to allow myself to stay calm if I focused on the content and not on my thoughts, and I quickly fell asleep. Over the years I kept doing this, at first, when I started to feel tired, I immediately went to the channel that makes me feel calm and sleepy so that I gave my brain a paired association with those videos and sleep. Now, years later, when I watch that content I am asleep within five minutes. I’m not sure if anyone else does this, but it has worked for me so well, and being that I have ADHD, it’s hard for me to stick to habits but I kind of forced myself to have this one and it really helps. The times I allow myself to keep scrolling or do unproductive ways of distracting myself from anxious thoughts, it takes me way longer to fall asleep. I hope this is helpful for some of you, I just need to start doing it earlier so that I am able to get a full 8 hours. Good luck to everyone on their journey. And thank you to this content creator for putting information like this out there and making it accessible to people like me who can’t afford therapy at the moment ❤

[kaelaliim]

I was sleeping and then I woke up at 2am to racing thoughts and discomfort in my dream, does anyone get that 😫 it’s the worst feeling ever.

[tunarat]

Me being anxious but not knowing what I’m anxious about 👁👄👁 why am I like this

[NanaehLucky]

Thank you! Will try this. Watching this at 6:30 am on a Monday after a night of no sleep. Haven't been able to sleep well in months. Will need to call in sick for work again because there is no way I will actually get work done today. Insomnia is affecting my life too much.

[barbiethepoophouse]

Every night I can’t fall asleep because I worried or scared about something.

And I’m watching this to help.

[yaqeenalbusaidi]

I can’t sleep at night and keep thinking about the stupid things I did years ago and it stresses me. I keep blaming myself.
I blame myself for getting overwhelmed and lost control for no obvious reason.
I am very emotional and cries real easy and fast which embarrasses me.

I know there are people out there like me by looking at the views of these type of videos but I never met any of them.

[tomboygirl]

I want to sleep like a normal person when I used to sleep without worrying about those corna stuff and other stuff, this anxiety sucks broo
Fear of death is the wrost😭

[carleighluvsari]

I'm here trying to fall asleep. My anxiety is so bsd right now and I can't stop crying. Life sucks.

[champ]

I read all the comments below and it makes me feel super great to know that I don’t feel that alone. We will get through it together. It may not be easy but believe me, we will survive and fall sleep again. Take care!