Insomnia- How to Fall Asleep When your Brain Won't Shut Up!

If you are lying in bed trying to go to sleep, and find your mind racing, feeling anxious, what's the next best step to stop the anxiety cycle? -Jenny

You all know that feeling. I’ve been there, You’ve got a big day ahead, or you’ve had a long day behind you, you really need to sleep, you’re soooo tired, but when you finally lay down, your mind starts running, you worry about everything, or you can’t stop thinking about all the mistakes you made throughout the day.
You can feel your stress levels rise, and despite your best efforts, you can’t sleep. And that makes you more anxious, which perpetuates the cycle, and on it goes. You desperately want to sleep, but your brain won’t shut up. In this video you’ll learn why your brain doesn’t trust you to process these thoughts during the day. And, there is something you can do about this. So, let’s talk about the science behind why your brain gets stuck doing this, and 3 things you can do to escape that cycle:
1. Accept that trying to force yourself to not think about something backfires
2. Let your brain run the update
3. Gentle distraction in limited doses

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[ned]

Best advice for this I found is you can't just stop the thoughts, it's impossible just allow the thought to come but don't latch onto it and then just let it go. Be aware and just say oh that's an anxious thought I'm not going there. If your body is anxious it will be telling the brain your in danger, so an anxious nervous system full of cortisol and adrenaline will generate these thoughts, just be aware of this, it's not your fault and don't beat yourself up over it... Allow it to pass...

[nd]

My favourite is Categories - pick a category (foods, people's names, cars, whatever, as specific or general as you like) then think of something in that category that starts with A, then one that starts with B etc. Sounds corny but I don't remember ever making it halfway through the alphabet. Gives your mind something completely safe to do.

[nathanialalvarez]

I honestly dont know how i would survive without this channel existing

[uqtitjk]

A couple years ago I had some terrible insomnia related to my anxiety and I took to listening to podcasts. In particular one called Sleep With Me. He's a really compassionate guy who seems to understand that his listeners' plight and he goes out of his way to be as boring as possible. He watches the British Bake Off and gives a play by play, tells random stories, reads old catalogs. He jokes it is the podcast you don't listen to - because hopefully you'll be asleep. And it really works for me. I'm out before he gets through his 15 minutes intros. It's like that feeling of hearing a friend or family member in the other room talking. It's comforting and distracting. Sometimes I go for my normal podcasts but I hate to sleep through some of them so sometimes that's too distracting too.

[dherman]

I put history podcasts on low volume and turn on the fan next to me. Asleep fast!

[EvelynIrwin]

What I’ve found the most helpful when I worry late at night is treating myself with compassion that it’s not my fault that I have anxiety. I also purposely slow down my breathing because taking action to show your body that you are safe and can rest will help your thoughts become more calming

[alices.]

I would just add reading a good book as a distraction, whatever time it is in the night.
Thank you so much from Italy 🙏

[leslieg]

My husband falls asleep within 5 minutes. Years ago, I asked him how he does it, he said he just stops thinking. He made it sound so simple, but his answer only left me frustrated because I couldn't shut my mind off. I'm now in the habit of falling asleep while reading from my Kindle. I wouldn't be surprised if this affects women more than men.

[rhondadownes]

When I’m having trouble falling asleep, I’ve recently started going through the alphabet and for each letter naming a fruit, vegetable, or herb and it definitely redirects my thoughts. Some letters are hard and if I can’t think of anything that goes with a letter, I just skip it and go to the next one.

[clairepare]

My worst is having depression and anxiety thoughts pop into my head the minute I open my eyes

[jhj]

I've learned so much from you, Emma. I was diagnosed as Autistic in 2021. Sensory and emotional overwhelm are ongoing concerns. I've since created routines and activities to process thoughts, feelings, emotions and so-on. My home is orderly and often quiet - like a sanctuary, and I try to balance work, chores and rest. During the day, I make time to write notes and draw diagrams to process. I can then share these with others if I want. An examination of conscience at bedtime supports me to process the day - with gratitude - and to sleep. If I wake in the night anxious thoughts can occupy my mind. I use a prayer rope or prayer beads to focus my attention, and I attempt to regulate my breathing at the same time. It takes practice to form habits, like getting to bed at a reasonable time, and monitoring internet use - but it's well worth the effort.

[rufusthebrave]

I've learned stop being frustrated by trying to fall asleep. I give myself permission to rest instead. I remind myself that's what I'm doing.. soothing the invitation for rest rather than battling sleep that does not want to come.

[Luckystoic]

My sweet STEPMOM passed away from Cancer, bacterial meningitis, lungs infection, kidney failure, fits, strokes internal bleeding and finally heart failure. She was only 48 year old , but I know she’s in Heaven!!! She wasn’t just my mom, but my best friend. Please pray for her.

[karenswartz]

I have bipolar disorder, and those intrusive thoughts are often there. I’m happy to say that I do practice many of the tips you gave, and they are helpful. My sleep is good for the most part. Another thing I find helpful is to make sure my bedroom is a place of sleep and rest (and intimacy, of course), but I don’t allow TV or food in that space. Personally, I don’t let myself scroll on my phone. I use it to read until I’m sleepy, or listen to calming music or ASMAR. Then it’s shut off. 42 years of working night shift helped me learn these things.

[Safe_Place_MentalHeath]

Been there! Thanks for explaining why our brains go into overdrive at night and offering solutions. Excited to try these 3 steps to escape the anxiety cycle and finally get some rest!

[kotulkin]

What helped to overcome my long-time insomnia was walking those 10, 000 steps/day, better in some natural environment, and listening to tolstoy's audiobooks in bed, 10 min of war and peace - and I'm done

[jdawg]

As a fellow clinician and church member, I really appreciate the work you put into these videos Emma, keep up the great work!!

[angel.heart]

1000% me and it’s awful. I don’t even think of a job or a busy day ahead. I constantly think of all health things related. Or world news that worry me.
I start to think… “what’s that weird feeling in my chest, something wrong with my heart, why does my leg hurt, is that a headache or a tumor”. I worry about my grown children if they’re eating right, I wonder if people I saw on the news are okay. Ugh.. my brain is just non stop. I’m exhausted by 5am when I finally fall asleep. I will try these tips for sure. Thank you for this video🤞🏼🙏🏼

[loridyson]

I repeat to myself in my head (not out loud) : I love God, I love Jesus, please help me fall asleep. I love God, I love Jesus, please help me fall asleep.
While repeating this also do a calm beathing pattern.

[thecatholiccorner]

Times of anxiety is also time of prayer for myself. Not only can i give my worries to God, but I can pray about them and ask for His help. Once I start praying, especially my Rosary, I end up falling asleep. ❤