What Happens When You Stop Chasing An Avoidant?

Heal Your Attachment Style & Dramatically Improve Your Relationships: Access Your Free All-Access Membership Today!

Get 60% OFF Our All-Access Pass and Start Creating the Best Relationships of Your Life! ⬇️

👇Unlock your true potential and live authentically by enrolling in the "Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs" course - Find fulfillment in relationships, align with your life's purpose, and create a vision that inspires you. Don't wait, start your journey now!👇

Have you ever been overwhelmed and confused by someone pulling away and not sure why? In today's video, Thais Gibson shares the inner world of the dismissive avoidant avoidant attachment style (avoidant attachment style) and why they are pulling away just when you think everything is going well. Watch now to find out why as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

---

00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:22 - Feeling Minus Fears
00:04:03 - Personal Needs Course Promo
00:04:17 - Know Your Needs
00:04:45 - Communicate In the Positive
00:06:10 - Conclusion

---

Follow Us for Daily Relationship Insights and Breakthroughs on Our Social Channels!

---

Subscribe to Our YouTube Channel for Your Daily Dose of Personal Growth and Relationship Transformations!

Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.

Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

So what are you waiting for? This could be the start of your personal development journey. Subscribe to our channel and start watching!

#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #DismissiveAvoidant #DismissiveAvoidantAttachment #DismissiveAvoidantCourse #AvoidantAttachment #AvoidantAttachmentStyle #UnmetNeeds #DismissiveAvoidantNeeds #AvoidantNeeds

[ds]

When you stop chasing an avoidant, and put that energy you spent yearning for that person's validation and closeness into instead healing yourself, you find peace and contentment. When the avoidant inevitably comes around for the next brief fix, you no longer get that high from the attention and have the unwavering strength to say a firm and final no.

[WahkeenaSitka]

The only thing that should happen when you stop chasing an avoidant is... You learn how to self-soothe and self-regulate and learn to detach from people who are causing you a great deal of grief. Only then can you begin the healing and recovery process and move slowly towards healing, rather than chasing after someone who is completely unavailable. The goal should be healing 100%, and to stop prioritizing how the avoidant feels.

[jeffl]

I chased an avoidant for 6 years. She left me 7 times in the 6 years. The entire relationship was me trying to figure out how to make her happy and give her a great relationship. The only effort she put in was criticizing me and trying to find me doing something wrong. I will never date an avoidant again. Looking back it was a nightmare.

[nomsi]

I finally told a DA that I am done chasing you. I will always care and have love for you. But, I can't be friends. I told her, I didn't hate them or I was angry at them. I told her, when you are ready to work on yourself and actually do the work. You know where to find me. But right now, this is goodbye—best of luck. I only wish the best for you.

That was one of the hardest things I had done. Walking away from someone I generally loved. But my needs weren't being met. I saw she seemed upset. But deep down, I know I did the right thing. My chest literally felt lighter.

I would be lying if there wasn't some form of hope. But I am working on myself. Getting in shape and focused on helping others as well as my finances.

[parkerberlin]

Run. Run. Run. You can't build a house on a faulty foundation. They need help and you can't help them.

[HikerGirl-ctnd]

When you stop chasing they say ok bye and then you are left with all those feelings to deal with

[Corvandus]

I just had a whirlwind for a couple of years with a DA. If you're here because you're in the middle of one with a DA or FA, don't. Leave. The good things while you're together are not worth the games and the toying that they will use with you in between. Unless they are aware and are actively working, they will refuse to communicate, and you will get hurt. You cannot fix them. You cannot figure out what the right thing to do is that will magically make them happy and stable in their affections. You're not at fault. If you really really can't just walk away, be completely firm in your own boundaries. They will stretch them as far as they can, they will appeal to benefit of doubt, and they will take every advantage they can because ultimately they cannot help but see relationships as adversarial.

[Demiyah]

When I stopped chasing after my DA boyfriend, and I gave him 90-100% of the initiative to connect and set the dates, the result is that he felt safe and unpressured. He had space to miss me, and be in touch with his desire for me. He reaches out to me basically every day and tries to see me regularly. He feels safer with me to ask for help and to share his emotions, and in turn, that has expanded his capacity to be there for me.

[taylorbee]

The biggest thing avoidants need to learn is communication is not lethal or harmful.
Unless you cheated or did something wrong.

[simjam]

They like you chasing them because it boosts their ego, and they get to continue devaluing and rejecting you. Once you finally give up, they guilt trip you like you dont care about them. Mind blowing!

[robsterling]

Your insight has given me a great understanding of myself and my relationships. It has allowed me to grow and be a better partner.

[Timmarsters]

As a self aware DA I feel like I shoulder some responsibility for seeing my APs requests as what they really are even though they come across as criticism, but I struggle a lot. I constantly find myself on the defensive and then it quickly turns into attack mode. Without having an unreasonable expectation of my AP being AS self aware, what tools can I use to keep myself in an aware and present state as opposed to reverting to my own fight or flight state.

[VikingThunderWulfgar]

I am sitting in this exact place right now with my partner. She is wonderful and I love her so much, but I have been evaluating how we fit together. It has been so emotionally challenging. Thank you for content like this that helps me think critically about it.

[clarascully]

Hahahaha. Communication? After being letdown 3 times in a row, I had the temerity to ask if they could let me know (preferably before 12pm) they weren’t going to keep their word and meet up… I was then discarded a few days later (I was having surgery so probably freaked them out).
Second time they’ve ghosted me, so no going back for me. This time I didn’t allow myself to attach and was wary (rightly so).
Feel nothing but relief he’s gone. Dumped his last partner as she “kept asking where I was going”….😂.
He’s 58, never had children, doesn’t work on himself and is a workaholic to keep the distance. The majority will never change

[gilyost]

OMG so timely my GF (now has broken up with me) is a total DA I have stumbled upon your videos and am blown away! I am really learning so much and mostly about myself (the people pleaser). As a healthcare professional I cant believe how much i dont know about attachment styles even after a book or two. This has helped a ton. this hit hard and i wish i had this insight to have better constructed a more meaningful approach to the relationship

[sarahd]

Literally nothing happens when you pull away from them. They don’t care! They don’t reach out and you’re left with a whole heap of trauma and no answers on their cruel and confusing behaviour.

[KingArthurreturns]

So if they are actually attached how do they not feel lost when they leave for literally no reason, other than scared of the commitment is quite sad

[InnerWorkGuideShobhali]

I love this explicit mention of (other) emotions minus fears. Learning to work with our fears by truly understanding them, and from that understanding being able to debase them, is sort of the way to go to truly get out of our own stuck emotional/ relational/ habitual patterns, in my understanding.

[mrstonerudude]

Im breaking it off with an avoidant today. Thank you god/dess. I've been as supportive as possible, but I'm done with the emotional limbo. 6 months of daily, ongoing communication. No date.

[mmholling]

My DA left me. I went 100% no contact and it made no difference. She hasn't reached out in 6 months.