Self-Esteem

To have sound levels of self-esteem is one of the gateways to happiness. But achieving this has very little to do with the progress of our careers.

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with Jesse Collett

[yerffej]

The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person who you were yesterday.

[pentrubarbati]

My life got 1000% better when i stoped comparing to other people ...

[FrostyAUT]

My low self-esteem stems from the fact that I feel like no one really likes me, nor cares about me. It's always me who has to make a conscious effort to get people to spend time with me. I'm usually polite, but people instantly judge me when I have a small outburst of anger or frustration, whereas others can somehow behave like jerks very often and get away with it.

[carolinej]

I'm surprised this video didn't touch on school bullying. Being bullied myself had such a huge impact on my self esteem and confidence into adulthood. It's a constant uphill struggle that never really goes away.

[Clayalton]

I get teary-eyed when he mentions that the only way to really change these things is to go in your own mind and reprogram your brain acknowledge your past and fix it. It just makes me credibly happy that we can do this to ourselves

[krazykat]

This art form depicts the human population very well.
We're all blockheads.

[Shunarjuna]

School of Life, you always seem to know what I'm feeling.

[guillermoo.c]

I don't know if the audience noticed this, but Alain de Botton (one of the founder of The School of Life and the official voice of the channel) describes his case in minute 1:53.

He decided to follow philosophy and humanities, instead of keeping the million business (Global Asset Management) of his father Gilbert de Botton. Maybe it was a difficult decision for him (emotionally more than financially) and MAYBE his father didn't approved that decision. Maybe that's why we see a lot of videos about the emotions, the meaning of success, status anxiety and the final purpose of rich people.

Alain De Botton is projecting part of himself in condensed videos. He's sharing us part of his sufferings and his subjective life in form of knowledge (mainly philosophical and psychological). In terms of Schopenhauer, I would say he's a universal man (he understands the complexity of feelings and the condition of humankind). Thanks for your ambitious project, De Botton and The School of Life! Keep going!

[nano]

SHOUT OUT TO THE ANIMATION ARTIST. This is so well done. I really enjoy this!

[ElusvOptmst]

The problem is that as humans we have a tendency to look at what others do. Too much emphasis is placed on what a person have done or accomplished and what society says is achievements. We should not be placed in the same categories as others, because we are all different. So the catechist is to be reflective towards loving and accepting ones self. Love yourself unconditionally. Its okay to be imperfect in this imperfect world. Stop looking for others to validate us. Only you can make yourself happy in this crazy world. Nurturing yourself is vital. Put yourself first before others, not in a selfish way, but in a nurturing way; improve positively upon yourself. Positive human beings reflect both positive energy and self esteem. Just my opinion.

[musiceon]

If you're reading this, here's some love ❤ in case you need it

[Skywalker-zuod]

If success to you is money, power, popularity, and adoration then you will never truly have lasting self worth. These things are fleeting and superficial, and placing your self worth in them is a setup for tragedy when they go away.
True self worth lies in several things
1. Accurate self insight (the ability to know if you really are achieving the following things and not just pretending you are)
2. Empathy
3. Compassion
4. Willingness to listen (so you know what the people you care about want and need)
5. Humility
6. Courage to stand up to those that would hurt others (emotionally or psychologically mostly, but physically if possible)
7. Loyalty
8. Forgiving nature
9. Ability to admit when wrong and genuinely apologize for it
If you are striving to achieve these things in earnest, keep it up!
-Reputations are what people think you are. Dwelling on your reputation is simply ego and arrogance.
True self worth based on the above criteria, evaluated internally cannot be taken from you

[lob]

I suffered a mental break down today at work. All due to extremly low self esteem.. This video sums it up
My dad - a "from zero to hero" millionaire
My friends - all achieving at least something
Me - not able to do anything with my life except for rolling in agony of self hatred

Starting group therapy this Friday. Hope it works

[e.t.]

Its odd to be social. Growing-up I never had an idol, someone to look up to, role-model. I never compare myself. Its odd because so many others have this race going on. When someone compliments or puts me down, I don't really know how to respond. I don't care about who I am or who you are. To be nothing is comforting.

[regaininglife]

I don't give a shit about achievements, impressing people or possession. My problem is that I was severely abused as a kid. Not only did I get regular beatings but my parents never really gave me the emotional support or guidance. I also was shamed and punished a lot in school growing up by bully teachers (who the fuck bullies small kids?). All this snowballs and you grow up BECOMING the shame. You have a warped image of who you are. My whole adult life has been a struggle to try and reverse all the physical and emotional abuse. I also had shitty friends, who, I think I unconsciously gravitated towards because they were a lot like me. So, here I am at 36 and been alone my whole adult life. No family or friends. I do ok for myself, I got a biology degree, work at a nature preserve, have my own apartment etc. I did what I could to survive. But I don't really live or feel good about myself inside. It feels like there's this huge chunk missing in life. I have a lot of feelings of deep sadness, shame, loneliness and fear. But I just stuff it down to get through the day.
 I try extremely hard to live somewhat of a normal life but it is a constant battle. I know others from abusive backgrounds who become alcoholics, drug addicts, criminals, etc, or even kill themselves. I could easily do the same but I feel like I have a much higher pain threshold than some people. I had a best friend who had a similar life as me and he's an alcoholic and homeless now. I can't help him I have to watch my own ass. Thoughts of suicide come and go because of the frustration and loneliness. But I feel like i have suffered so much I deserve to feel good and have nice things one day. I already spent time on the streets and even in jail. I just don't understand people who have had the supportive family and still act like their lives are shitty. No matter how logical I feel, no matter what I obtain, etc, it doesn't change the pain from the abuse and shaming I have experienced and that is the hardest and most frustrating thing. I really don't know how I manage to live. If you an adult survivor of abuse you will understand.

[yeghor]

Low self esteem = extreme self-consciousness = overdeveloped superego = an overcritical (perfectionist) parent

[ivie]

understanding psychology is comforting and frightening

[mediavia]

I have high self esteem. My mom gives me unconditional love and she makes
Me feel like I can do anything.

[mariluzgarcia]

dude, I don't know if you guys will ever read this, but thanks to your videos I've got learn more in the last two days, than in the las twenty seven years of my life. My soul has healed so much, thanks to the philosophical endeavors engaged by you. Heart on hand: Thank you guys, please keep going.

Now I will go ahead and ask you guys to add the work of Hannah Arendt to the "Politic Theory" playlist, or philosophy, what ever accrues by de diversity of the topic. The reason I think she is to be amongst such distinguished names is because she points out brightly where the constitutionalists and totalitarians notoriously clash. I'd love to collaborate in the subject, I have a couple of insights of where they are dialectically bonded, I mean in the Heggelian way, of course there should be at least another dozen of authors that should be thrown in, there'll be a time for it.
Good vibes.

[joealias]

1. My dad has not done anything amazing, my family is an average middle class one
2. I'm not aware of any of my high school classmates, or anyone else I know, having done anything amazing. I'm ahead of a lot of them just by the fact I can afford to live alone.
3. Though my parents emphasized success in school, I never had reason to worry their love was dependent on those outcomes.

And yet 0:42 describes me perfectly. I feel like I have wasted my potential and I sometimes feel convinced I haven't earned the right to even exist. So where does that come from then?