How To Get The Shy Guy

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In this week's episode of LOVELife, I take a question from Tasha on what to do when the guy she likes is shy, and how to go from small talk to a date.

Video links at the end:

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[caroremedi]

Well, about three weeks ago I met this guy who I really liked but he was way too shy. I knew he liked me since a mutual friend of ours told me, but he just wouldn't ask me out. So I decided to make the first move. We were texting and he told me he was bored and I was like.. let's catch up for some drinks then! We did and had a lovely time. After that night, everything changed. He's asked me out on four dates since then! I'm actually seeing him tomorrow :D So ladies, don't be afraid of giving shy guys a bit more. Sometimes they just need a little push!

[c.shadou]

I’m not afraid of him not picking up hints... I’m afraid of him not wanting to :(

[snoringlemur]

As a shy guy myself i can honestly say this is GREAT advice! We are usually pretty clueless when it comes to flirting, and need the woman to make it clear she's attracted before we'll make a move!

[dawski]

Speaking from experience I will say this: When it comes to relationships, shy guys, in fact lots of guys, aren't dumb, they're just scared. They're afraid of making a fool of themselves if the girl says no. It's a barrier that they build in themselves from childhood and it takes A LOT for them to overcome that, they don't like to come out of their shell unless the girl makes the first move and it has to be pretty obvious that she likes him otherwise he won't try. It takes a lot of patience and gentleness to coax them out of their walls but once they do, You'll often find them to be some of the most enthusiastic and bubbly people ever, they just need encouragement. So don't be disheartened if they don't respond immediately, it doesn't mean their not interested, they're just waiting for more encouragement

[TheFairKnight]

Depending on the guy you might need to be a little more than just subtle, some of us are borderline autistic when it comes to girls. Back in high-school there was a girl who literally stole my phone from my backpack, put her number in it, and gave it back to me, and I was STILL left wondering "but what does she want??" lol

[yara]

I don’t know if this could help anyone, but for eight months, this guy, who takes the same bus as me in the morning, and i would look at each other everyday and on the last day of school i actually got out at the same stop as him and actually approached him. Now I’m a super shy and introverted person but i grew the balls and talked to him.

The next day he texts me saying he got my number from a friend of a friend and he asked me out. Turns out he’s extremely shy and has never dated/gone out with anyone before and he kept praising me for coming up to him. So screw fear and just push yourself to make the first move. Guys really do appreciate it (especially the shy ones).

[RealityCheckT]

As a guy who used to be painfully shy, I can also say that touch is a good ice breaker. Touch him on the arm or just brush past him, but make that connection (if you're not too shy yourself that is).

[teresamcmurrin]

I got my shy guy (married this past May!)...We lived in the same building. I just kept giving him my biggest smile everytime I saw him, and tried to put together a coherent sentence (since I am also painfully shy!). He told me later that my smiles punched holes right through his shields...It took awhile, but he finally got up the nerve to start really talking to me! :) (He'd overheard me talking about music and thought, "Aha! A topic!") I think one of the major turning points in our growing friendship was when I pointed out some things I really admired about him. We finally confessed our feelings in two all-night text marathons!

[bananaisyuk]

This is literally the perfect video for me right now..

[martaper]

Hi Matt,

I'm married but your advice for "singles" has worked for me in my marriage. I think what makes your work so great is that you are teaching women how to teach men to be more considerate with women. But the best part is you teach respect standards both ways starting by respecting ourselves.
You are a phenomenal "respect teacher".

[chriscamaso]

That little line is literally the cutest thing I've ever heard 🙈

[Tracey..H]

What if your both shy. Oh thats fun...
Well be 80 before we date

[KaijiSan]

coming from a shy guy's perspective just be direct with us. No, we do not pick up on your subtle cues of affection like hair twirling. So if you like us tell us, otherwise we've got our own business to take care of.

[agirlnamedchuck]

I ALWAY seem to be attracted to the shy guys! I don't know why though because their awkwardness always rubs off on me and then I shy up too. I hate it!! I don't know how to change this.

[jaraisferguson]

Lol who eats ice cream during a movie. real question.

[MsWannabeGamer]

Thank you so much. I have been waiting for years for this. I frequently find myself attracted to shy guys and have no idea what to do when he doesn't reciprocate.

[Devotchka]

There's a difference between shyness and strong insecurities that affect relationships much more so. A shy guy will hear you if you say that you're interested, then he'll open up and so on and so on (my ex was shy) but insecurities are blinding, they prevent one from believing the other no matter how true it may be. Too much insecurity also can lead to toxic and manipulative tactics, which should scare off any woman.

[JadeyFadeyMCR]

I find being playful is really a good thing to do when you like a guy regardless of him being shy or not, or with the two of you being friends or in a relationship. My boyfriend is generally quiet, but definately not shy and being playful just creates fun moments and open conversations a little more. If anything I'm more the shy one than he is, but I've been through so much growth the past few years and that shy little shell has opened up sooo much. It's crazy and scary, but it's so good!

[DoGmAnGuY]

I like how at least SOME people don't just have the "if he doesn't approach he isn't interested" bullshit attitude. As a shyer guy, it just feels super invalidating, it's like so all the crushes and feelings I had over the years for different girls was all a sham just because I'm innately shy and that stopped me from approaching them? At least someone is able to be nuanced and say that isn't necessarily the case.

[HYPNOYOUEllieBrown]

Mathew there's this great restaurant in my local shops the food is to die for
We should go
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