How to Flirt with a Shy Guy (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

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There are certain dumb myths in dating that women get told over and over:

- Men only care about “one thing.” (Ok, bedroom time is pretty important to us. But it’s obviously not all that men want.)

- Men are less emotional than women. (Yeah, right. If you’ve ever seen a guy fall madly in love for the first time, or recovering from a rough break up, you’ll know this one is BS.)

- If a guy likes you, he’ll make a move and ask you out. (Umm...no. Just no.)

In fact, this last one might be the myth I hear most often.

Well, I can tell you. When I was a shy skinny teenager, there was no way I felt I could just ask out a girl I liked. The risk of being humiliated and rejected was terrifying.

But…

Smart women realize that any guy who likes them can be led to make the move, so long as she gives him some simple, subtle clues.

So in the name of helping men and women out everywhere (especially that shy teenage Matt out there ;)), here is my favorite technique for getting any guy to ask you out (even if he’s a little shy at first)...

Produced by MATTHEW HUSSEY & JAMESON JORDAN
Animation by MICHELLE GARCIA

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[jessyan]

1:18 minute mark ... Anyone else love the animated eyes for this or is it just me? lol

[DaniQuinteroC]

Shy guys are so difficult, you never know what they're thinking of what they want to do. Great advice Matthew!

[TheJonStark]

If someone asked me that question "popcorn or ice cream?" i'd immediately respond with "Neither. I don't buy any food at the movies, it's way too expensive." I wouldn't have the slightest clue that was an attempt at flirting.

[mickeyd]

BUT DID SHE GET THE GUY THO? I NEED TO KNOW

[nourghers]

And here i thought women were complicated ...

[Sassineri]

Is she peeing behind the bush when she calls in? :D

[MrKentakie]

A little insight: Shy guys are shy for a reason, being an introvert another. We are uncertain and don't do it until we are certain, it's this black and white.
The akwardness is unbearable unless there is a purpose / side activity like eating ice cream. If you know to be proactive, he'll thank you for that.
If you are uncertain about him, ask him. We say what we mean and react in that manner as well. But be aware that most of us can't tell the difference between friendly and flirting or read any signs so to speak.
Key is: Take the initiative and he's yours.

[cleok]

You must be psychic or something oh my god Matthew for the past year you've been posting EXACTLY what I need to hear!

[frankdelgrosso]

As a long time shy guy I think this vid may be misleading. Firstly because if the guy is shy he will likely see going to the movie as platonic, that she was simply being friendly. I can imagine this girl going to the film with him, him not making a move of any kind, and then her thinking he must not like me that way. Sadly he may be really into her but thinks she gave no sign of it. I know that sounds crazy as she took the first step. But trust me I know the mind of a shy guy I am one.

Shy guys assume (not incorrectly) that most girls have a boyfriend already or a guy they are into. We are not so much afraid of rejection as at least that is a compliment to her but of the social awkwardness which comes when hitting on someone who is already taken. I almost never speak in a way not completely platonic to women I encounter because of this assumption. I don’t want to make us both uncomfortable when she has to squirm and say something like “oh um I have a boyfriend”. It would be great if women who were not in the market wore something like how married women do with rings to signal this and clear that barrier. But currently that is not the case.

I know Mathew means well and has described himself as a former shy introvert, but I don’t think he is any longer in touch with the mind of the shy guy. I am not saying his advice is bad, it is great advice for meeting the guy for a movie or anything else you could strike a mutual platonic interest in. I just know that without some indication of being single and interested there is a very good chance that fella will not make a move. My advice is if you want to get the shy guy make sure to reveal you’re single and here is the hard bit, make sure he gets the hint that you are interested if he is.

That last bit is the hard part I know but both parts a crucial. If he knows your single is pretty easy to get out there. But letting him know you would like to date means taking a risk. There is a chance he won’t reciprocate. And worse with a shy guy you probably got what seems like no way of knowing what the outcome will be as he has likely never flirted or given you signs. Shy guys are very conscious of how scummy men are with even taken girls flirting and touching them and they deliberately avoid doing that. Shy guys don’t want to be the creep who hugs too long or too tight, or glances to much or too long. So with shy guys I can’t recommend enough you make sure he finds out you are not taken, and that you are open to dating him. A hair flip or giggling may not do it with a shy guy. He is overly worried about being a crrep or making things awkward, that’s why he is shy.

[nairamize]

I'm am going to quote Wikipedia here because it will help you understand the mindset of shy guys: "The primary defining characteristic of shyness is a largely ego-driven fear of what other people will think of a person's behavior. This results in a person becoming scared of doing or saying what they want to out of fear of negative reactions, being laughed at, humiliated or patronised, criticism or rejection." What does that mean for you? It basically means that you have to make him feel comfortable around you. Establishing an atmosphere that he doesn't have to fear being himself around you. Gain his trust by accepting him the way he is (you probably do this if you like him) and escalate things slowly.
Matthew's advice is great to find out whether he likes to spend time with you or not. But to find out if he's romantically interested in you, you need to do a bit more. And that is the tricky part because most girls are not used to approaching guys. The best advice I can give you is: watch his actions and behaviour. If he's interested in you he will probably look for chances to be around you. That doesn't necessarily mean that he is going to do anything other than being in your eye sight but often shy guys try to find a way to spend time with you if you two are already friends. If you haven't achieved the friendship status yet but you already know that you are romantically interested in him you have to ask him out. And you can do that by doing what Matthew suggests in this video. That is perfectly fine. Nevertheless there has to come more from you. Guys in general mostly don't see the hints girls tend to give and especially shy guys won't notice them. Or if they do they are very likely to think that you are just being friendly because they are afraid of a negative reaction if they make a move.
So you should start escalating things slowly as I said above. Try to initiate physical contact and flirt. Flirt a lot. And each time go a step further if he doesn't shy away from it. You can start by hugging him, then hugging him longer, touching his arms, poking him when joking around, shortly resting your hand an his lap when sitting close to each other, making ambiguous jokes all the time, resting your head on his shoulder till you eventually reach the point of where you would kiss him (normally). BUT - and this is very important (!!) - if you do all these things and he doesn't initiate body contact himself, it does NOT have to mean that he is not interested in you romantically. It can though. But he is probably just afraid of iniating more intimate contact. Shy guys are shy, not stupid. By that point he probably realized what you are up to and would have prevented you from intimate contact if he wasn't interested. But if you reach that point and still wonder why he hasn't done anything on a physical level, you either back off yourself (because you think he is not interested and that is what 99% of girls do if they didn't already back off way earlier)... OR you just ask him why. Tell him that you were giving him hints all the time and ask him why he didn't see them. At the latest then he will get it.
I know it can be a struggle, especially since you won't find out that fast what he thinks about you, but in the end it might be worth all the hassle before. Because you got him to open up to you and once he knows that you wan't more than just friendship and feels the same about you, there will come a lot from him because now he knows he doesn't have to fear rejection or that you might think bad about him.

[giannisr.]

being a shy guy I can assure you that if you are just cute, not too much communicative(makes us feel a bit useless😂), and be straight to what you want, he has no reason to say no, unless he has a gf, he is REALLY busy, or you look like a witch or something😂.(seriously though, being pretty is not such important.If 90% of the girls I know came to me like that, I would love to give them a chance😅)

[justineguillemenot]

This definitely has worked for me!
It has been a year I have met my shy and amazing boyfriend and we just bought a house together! We're so happy.
Thank you so much @MatthewHussey !

[w.d.asencios]

I'm a shy guy, and I like watching his videos! Makes me think about the things that I do wrong.

[kokainum]

Popcorn line is gonna make the guy think that you're unstable. Unless you say it in right way with right tone, but some people have problems doing it, do maybe don't do it.

[shawteex]

wait, what movie theatre sells ice cream??

[jacinta]

This is SO much better than the magazines' endless repetitions of "be flirty!". This is so much better, to be given actual lines and how to behave. Thank you!!

[mikky]

i love matthews videos! it's just that whenever I'm actually in the moment i completely forget everything he advises and freeze.

[lerulara]

I loved this cute cartoons and how sweet and innocent every is!
I wish there were interesting guys at my church lol

[MikiMaki]

most women would never do that... they just wait for the men to do everything- even if they like him a lot. they don't want to risk anything

[JaceLansing]

Just go up to him and ask him if he likes Matthew Hussey's teachings. If he says no, then tell him he's uninvited. BOOM.