Narcissistic Gaslighting - Trust your gut instinct

One thing I learned looking back at my relationship, is that pretty much every time I felt that something was going on behind the scenes, I was right.

My advice to anyone going through something similar, is learn to listen to your instincts. Don't act out in a disproportionate way, but don't ingore what you feel.

#Narcissist #Narcissism #Gaslighting

[midlifemeltdown]

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[suzannefehr]

So so true...I think that is the biggest thing that makes you sick. Your own betrayal. Great advice.

[KatesTake]

Similar experience, my gut was always right and I think that is why we do not experience peace in these relationships because we are going against our own internal GPS. The narcissist uses DARVO, "Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender" and over time you lose your will power. The toxicity is real and does manifest in a lot of mental and physical anguish. It is very refreshing to be free of all the chaos and out of the fog :-).

[mirelladlima]

Brain fog that's precisely what gradually happened to me. Periods of doubt, self doubt, believing the negatives and condemning your own self.🙏

[MJ-tlvp]

That's covert narcissism, subtle, insidious and pervasive. One has to have intimate relationship with a covert to know. The outside world can never really understand and grasp the "underworld" with a covert, sometimes not even the children. But what is clear is it's a very highly self-centered world. The core of narcs are the same but the behaviors are extremely different between the overt and covert although they oscillate from one to the other depending on the circumstance. Yes, it's exhausting to be with these people to the point that i felt that maybe he wants me to crawl in front of him to serve him or to entertain him to show him attention. He was highly neurotic. He went to seek treatment for depression, came home saying the doctor does not know anything, practically an idiot. I googled for autism, then discovered narcissism. Hallelujah!
I'm still trying to overcome my 30 yr traumatic experience. I pray that i will at least reach your point of recovery. I pray for everyone's complete recovery. 🌈

[Ad_Astra_]

I think it's useful to make a note of (write down) what you feel too. Because you become so fatigued & addled, you forget things. You think you won't, but you really do. When you can physically SEE a list forming, it's validating! It also helps you to face reality & begin to hold yourself accountable to yourself. Thanks for describing how you're feeling from the "other side". I'm happy for you... shine on! =)

[amyd]

The amount of pain and damage was truly immeasurable. Great video as usual. Thank you.

[VidarTemte]

Just a couple of minutes into this. You explain this feeling 10/10. 👍🙏

[TommasoLucaSanna]

Appreciate your vulnerability and sincerity. I am triggered a lot lately by the company I have a business relationship with. This is relatable to me the gut feeling that the red flags with the company . 8 months ago my gut told me that there was something wrong. I just couldn’t point the finger. Fast forward 4 months later the company announced major restructuring and fast forward last week they announced bankruptcy. There is intelligence we don’t see and our spiritual senses do.

[angelamwatts]

My last serious relationship was with a covert narcissist. I'll give you an example of how he used to gaslight me. He was the type of person whom had to carry his cell phone everywhere. That in itself didn't bother me. What bothered me was that we would be out to dinner and he would take his phone with him to the bathroom. He would be in the restroom for as long as 10 to 15 minutes. The bill was paid and I'm ready to leave waiting on him. This behavior was common of him. I would ask him "why is it taking you so long to use the bathroom and why do you need to bring your phone with you everytime you go to the bathroom constantly?" His response was "I was looking at sports scores. Why are you so jealous all of the time?" I started to think that he was right and that I was too jealous and insecure.

This was far from the truth. I never had a "jealousy" problem with my relationships prior to him. His behavior made me feel very insecure as my gut was telling me that he was cheating on me. I was gaslighted into believing that I was just jealous. The truth came out and I found out that he was cheating on me and he had gotten the other woman pregnant. I was very angry at the time (2015) but after it was over, I was happy that the truth came out and that he became someone else's problem. It's a relief to not only be rid of him but to feel safe and secure within my own self knowing that my feelings were correct and that I wasn't jealous. He was gaslighting me into believing that I was crazy and insecure. This is what happens when you are dealing with a narcissist.

I'm very happy 😊.

Thank God the narcissist is gone!

[Jaquableu]

Absolutely right. 99.9% of the time I was right. But I would question myself. Am I being fair. Maybe they are having a bad day etc. But the bottom line is I was raised in a gaslighting home. I was the scapegoat. I was taught not to trust me and now I am learning to question this. I am learning to have faith in my instincts. I am learning to focus on the things that bring me joy and not rely on social media or others outside me to fulfil my joy and my life. Thank you!

[TheRonaldbaxter]

I have had not been through the pain of being in a long relationship to a narc. However much I found the covert narc at work very attractive, when she decided to love bomb me, my guts where screaming at me that something was very off. Trust your feelings. If your body advises you to flee then do so!

[suzannefehr]

Ian your looking better with every video!! Very inspiring...🌈🌞

[herrroy]

Very insightful. I think you say something very important, a normal life isn't that dramatic. It's not about that anxiety you feel when you can't trust the person closest to you. It's not about big ups and downs. It's not about the uncomfortable feeling when you simply don't know what the other person are doing. We want challenges in life, but love must mean peace and trust.

[deepinn]

I only recently came across your videos Ian. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story with such truth & integrity. Your videos have helped me enormously to understand NPD 🙏🏻

[sirjacko]

The slow death of your identity by a thousand concessions..

[saraliburd]

Totally understand the feeling of not wanting to have a relationship again
And yes the peace safety and sanity that ensues after getting out is priceless

[Jay-rvee]

Healing from Narcissistic abuse is a journey till the end of life. No matter how much I am sure and grateful I am for getting out of one, the conditioning that I have gone through will take forever to get out of my system. I am still learning new strategies everyday :)

[ThePeridot]

Thank you for this. Your videos have been very helpful to regulate my thoughts, making it so I know I am not crazy nor wrong for having the gut instinct that I should have believed years ago. I am slowly healing but deeply hurt. I hope to come out of this being able to trust another person again.

[mirelladlima]

Very true. it makes one aware and beware of people who one can sense who are slightly off. Better not to interact with them at all if you have the slightest inkling that they are not really what they say or portray or try to show up as. Once bitten twice shy and more on guard.🙏