How do I deal with a bully, without becoming a thug? | Scilla Elworthy | TEDxExeter

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[RustyWood]

From what I've read in the comments this lady must live in lala land. What DOES work against a bully is a beat down.
For example; my son was being bullied by a boy named Cody in kindergarten. He told the teacher and the teacher told Cody to not hit my son. Did that work? No. When the teacher wasn't looking, Cody hit my son. She never disciplined Cody because she never saw Cody hit him. I was dealing with a child who didn't want to go to school. Every Monday morning he told me his stomach hurt. I didn't believe my son so I pressed for what is really going on. He told me about Cody. I was mad. I told my son that the next time Cody hit him to rear his arm back and hit Cody in the stomach as hard as he could. He did. Of course the teacher saw that. Asked my son why he hit Cody. He told her because my daddy told me to. Then she called me wanting a meeting tween me, her, and the principal. I explained to her why I told my son to do that and since she couldn't protect my son from a bully I gave him permission to protect himself. Then I hung up on her. The Bullying Stopped and my son never had that problem in school again!

[sergysgospelnarration]

Bullies use violence in 3 ways
1. Political violence to intididate
2. Physical violence to terrorize
3. Mental/Emotional violence to undermine

[avonee]

I am a bullying survivor. I was bitter and angry for a long time. I am finally learning how to take that poison and use what I have been through to become a better person.

[wisemanwalkingdowntheroad]

When my daughter was in high school she was bullied by a thuggish young girl and I went to the school administration and told them the next time this girl bothered my daughter I would press criminal charges and sue the school. That girl was suspend and never seen in the school again. That's how you deal with bullies.

[avonee]

Dr. King preached non violence. Jesus preached non violence. Bruce Lee said you must fight without fighting. Violence only brings about more violence. I am only for using violence in cases of self defense. As Brother Malcolm said, I don’t call it violence when it’s used in self defense. I call it intelligence.

[kylemin]

I go to the forums talking about disabled kids and sometimes bullying comes up. People are still giving this advice. They say they kid should just walk away. This DOES work. This works if the bullied one walks away, walks off campus, walks home, and never comes back.  Then it works. I did this when I was sixteen so I should know.. I was also then a high school drop out.

[TheKay]

I get bullied all the time. it makes me feel I can't see the hope of my life. bully never allows you stay in any comfortable situation physically and mentally. I'll try as much as I can to fight back the bully. it might makes me look desperate, ugly and uncool, but i'll keep trying until I feel powerful and confident for being who I am. I want the freedom and respect.

[bart_seavey]

Force against force definitely works when a group collectively resolves to stand up and be stronger than the bully.

[GryphonHall]

The title of this talk is wrong. It should be "How do I deal with violence without becoming a thug?" The philosophy she espouses will only work on people who are actually decent but who only know of violence as the only way to deal with things. They will not work on real bullies. Every day, there is someone who just lets the bully have his or her way, with no retaliation and placid acceptance—the real bully loves this. It will not stop the bullying and it will not leave the victim unscathed.

A real bully would have put a bullet through that Lt Colonel's head as he knelt down (I suspect that this soldier saw that the mob were merely angry, not actual bullies).

I am disappointed, because the question deserves to be answered. I agree that answering violence with non-violence will dissipate non-violence, but it is not true that non-violence against a bully will make the bullying stop.

[bonnierobinson]

You always must stand against bullies and harassment.

[eriksturdevant]

This lecture is in no way based in reality. Ms. Elworthy has lead an incredibly sheltered life within the walls of academia, in my opinion. Rainbows and unicorns.

[HeronSight]

How to deal with YouTube comment section bullies?

don't scroll down.

[CrisTina-tpjg]

Just a feel-good speech with fluffy language. I would have like to have been given an example and instruction practically on a day to day basis on how to deal with bullies, what she said "opening our hearts" is not specific enough, it's fluffy.

[debbielicona]

I want to know why no one likes the bully at work and they see the pain and trouble they cause, but yet they say nothing and hang out with the bully. Smh

[littlelulu]

My neighbour is one of these...he dn respect boundaries...when I tried to speak to him about piling his snow on my side, he flipped out, calling me names and ramped up the bullying..
it never ends...he's very much like a little kid...I'm prepared with the evidence if my basement floods...

[martind]

You can't counter a bully without being a thug because the thugs are directed by creatures beneath either of these. This wisdom has been provided without benefit of whatever the good lady has to say.

[rav]

Stop mentoring the bullied to be passive doormats.

[tordjarv]

This comment section is extreme. It seems to me that I have just watched a completely different video than the majority of the commentors. She is not talking about Steve the psychopath that makes your work day a living hell, she is talking about the institutionalized oppression that exist under many dictatorships and that non-violent protest can be more efficient in those cases since the people that mediate that oppression is not inherently evil. I do not think that non-violence is always the answer, but sometimes the path that contradict intuition is the right path to go.

[janfriebert]

its a lovely lady but yes, she lives in the world full of rainbow and unicorns.

[debwright]

🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓This woman means well. Never love something or someone more than yourself. Always practice self defense by preparing yourself to deal with the adversaries you come up against whether its internal or external and if you need help, get IT!! Don't live in fear and silence. If none violence works use it, if self defense works use it, develop a tool box that deals with bullying. Use some of the steps she mentioned, and develop your own. Stop being wimps!🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔