How to Tell if You’re Being Manipulated

To manipulate is to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage. I also like to consider what it means when we use the term manipulation when it comes to objects, not people. Now let’s get into how we can tell if we are being manipulated.
1. You question yourself a lot. So if you find yourself having to defend your own memory of things or questioning yourself more than usual, you could be being manipulated.
2. You feel guilty or bad all the time. No matter what you do it never seems to please them....

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[annx]

Your channel literally changed my life, I went to therapy because I was struggling with depression and you made me think that I deserve to be alive:) Thank you!!!♥♥

[GutsAndGall]

Another way they manipulate you was doing favors for you that you didn’t ask for. Then when you don’t do what they want they can attack you and say look what I did for you

[WantedTomato]

When she said “just know you deserve to have relationships that are full of joy, love, and mutual respect, not manipulation” I cried. Hard. I needed that.

[junoumatie]

Soo, I've been manipulating some people unintentionally...
I'm both a victim and a manipulator... I'm disappointed in myself for unintentionally doing this to my close friends... I have to say sorry and make it up to some of my friends... Thanks for the heads up!!

[MusicIsARainbow]

I avoid people who don't respect the word no or start a request for a favor with a big sob story instead of just asking. One person actually told me when asking to borrow something, "I'm calling to test our friendship." She giggled like it was a joke, but when I had to tell her no, she kept trying to talk me into it and then became angry with me.

[GrungeGalactica]

Wow this just made getting over my ex a lot easier!

[jodam]

Some signs of manipulation I’ve seen in past relationships. 1) when they show support only sometimes, and this keeps you on the hook. 2) ignoring/silent treatment 3) making you feel sorry for them before they’ve even asked the favour

[mifnp]

How to tell if you're being manipulated:
1. You question yourself...all the time
2. If you feel guilty or bad all the time. They are unpredictable, so you ate scared being around them.
3. You are being asked to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. This may be accompanied by gaslighting.
4. They put you down. Slowly, you lose your self confidence.
5. Emotional blackmail as a means of control.
You just described my former 'friend' to a tee.
Bye, Felicia.

[lulabellaxx]

When I was quite young I had a friend who was so manipulative. When I first met her, I didn't have many friends but the few I did I was very close to. When we first started talking she would control small things about our friendship, like what we talked about, what activities we'd do and then it started to escalate. She would tell me who I could be friends with, who I could talk to and what I was allowed to do, and at times it felt like she was trying to make me a new person and though I wasn't comfortable with that, whenever I went against her she would paint me to be a bad person, ignore me and talk to my friends, who she kept me away from about how horrible of a person I was. It got so far that I couldn't make a decision any more without her telling me it was okay and she could make me do anything. After we had an argument again, she just abandoned me as a friend because I was being in her words, 'difficult' and 'self centered'. After she ended our friendship I ended up not really knowing what to do with myself because I drifted so far from other people I knew. Luckily I managed to make new friends and understand that she was very toxic and that I didn't need her, and while this is probably too long I really wanted to try and say that if you are being manipulated you don't need that person and that you can be in control of your life even if you feel hopeless.

[valhalla]

What's helped me get out of a toxic relationship (my ex was gaslighting me) was the realisation that we had no profound connection. All we shared was physical familiarity. Breaking out of an abusive cicle feels like your world is going to end and your soul is going to die, but in reality the toxic person never knew your soul. This person never came into contact with it. You are safer than you think.

[unleashingpotential-psycho]

Sadly, many people in the workplace try to manipulate their coworkers.

[ThoseTwoBrits]

This was really helpful, thanks Kati!

[AllofYouFitness]

Even though what I experienced was years ago, this still helps me understand that I wasn’t crazy. It helps me remember that I made the right choice in totally disconnecting.

[vilin]

My best friend was emotionally blackmailed multiple times by her partner. I’m so proud of her for leaving. She hasn’t fully processed what has happened but she is safe and has a better support system now. No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship

[thequestess]

About "cheap shots" ... sometimes people who do that try to play it up as a joke. If it bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don't, they're not your friend.

[cipimotzen]

EVERYONE CHEER FOR KATI!!! I am reading your book now, it's like I am reading it slowly, I don't want it to finish. It's like when little children eat chocolate, they eat it S-L-O-W-L-Y!! Great Job!! We need more open, honest and real therapists like you!

[raywood]

Thank you Kati, this is something we all need to aware of and know how to deal with. Beyond the manipulation by personal interaction, this is why I won't watch TV commercials telling me I need something I don't. Or listen to a politician's 'alternate facts'.

[Partycitybaex]

One of my new goals are to work on myself with therapy, adjusting that “too trusting” mindset. growing up with a manipulative dad was definitely the core of these issues, ending up with guys who are the same way and def getting that feeling that somethings off.

[lisasig]

Recently got out of a very toxic relationship. I watch this video every time i start to doubt myself if I made the right choice. Thank you.

[knottyseedling]

My mom has been manipulating me my whole life. I'm 30, and just now deciding that I'm done dealing with it because it's come to a head that has a lot of far-reaching effects in my life. I told her off the other day. I still feel guilty and question myself about it. My grandparents are trying to convince me to forgive her, and "let bygones be bygones". But that's why she is the way that she is, because people always forgive her and enable her. I'm done.