TYPES OF BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (BPD): 12 SUBTYPES

LINK TO FREE CHECKLIST: DOES MY PARENT HAVE NARCISSISTIC OR BORDERLINE TRAITS?
& FREE COURSE: IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT

This video provides an explanation of 12 SUBTYPES BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (BPD):

4 BPD MOM TYPES
5 TYPICAL BPD SUBTYPES
3 NEWER BPD TYPES

***all based upon research articles and Understanding the Borderline Mother by Christine Lawson.

The 12 types discussed in this video:

💕4 BPD MOM SUBTYPES: Waif, Hermit, Queen, Witch

💕5 BPD SUBTYPES: Quiet/High Functioning, Discouraged, Impulsive/Angry Externalizing, Petulant/Histrionic, Self-Destructive/Depressive Internalizing

💕3 SUBTYPES (2017 research): Core BPD, Extravert/Externalizing, Schizotypal/Paranoid

At the core, I just hope this video helps express the wide degree of manifestations we can see in Borderline Personality Disorder, so more people can be treated, supported, loved and healed - regardless of whether someone has BPD or was raised by a parent with BPD or partnered with someone with diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.

xo

@drkimsage
Dr. Kim Sage

Borderline Personal Disorder Emot Dysregulation 2017; 4: 16.
Published online 2017 Jul 3. doi: 10.1186/s40479-017-0066-4
PMCID: PMC5494904
PMID: 28680639

"Subtypes of borderline personality disorder patients: a cluster-analytic approach"

BOOKS: 📓📔📕📗📘📚📚📖📙📙📙

Understanding the Borderline Mother, C. Lawson
Surviving a Borderline Parent, Kimberlee Roth
Stop Walking Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, Paul Mason, Randi Kreger

🪕🎻🎸🪗🎺🎷🪘🥁🎹🎺🎺🎸🎸🎻🎻🎹
MUSIC: Three Wise People by Jimmy Jams

[musiklyfe]

I am currently in a relationship with someone who has BPD. And she's all over the board as far as these types go. I've seen many videos that tell people just to basically chalk that relationship up is a loss..

I've had my own fair share of faulty coping mechanisms and a traumatic past. But I have since overcome a great majority of that. It's a lifelong process but I feel like I'm definitely on the right path now. That being said I'm holding out a lot of hope for my significant other and I feel like I have the patience to handle it. And through videos like this I'm getting the tools to do so as well. I'm just hoping I'm able to gently make her aware of her situation and be supportive and help her long the path if she lets me.

I am by no means perfect. But I strive to be better than I was the day before every day. Like every human I may slip from time to time. But my experiences should help me in helping others overcome their past issues.

All that being said. Thank you for taking the time to post these videos and share them with the world. I really appreciate it.

[cariclark]

My mother was very bpd--she died nearly 14 years ago at age 84. I, fortunately, did not inherit the problems, but I have a lot of issues as a child who endured constant criticism, shaming, and her histrionic behavior. I have struggled for years to overcome the legacy of this.

[daligogh]

All of these sound like my mom under different circumstances and at different times in my life. She was a good mother though she was crazy but she was good to me she always apologized and held herself accountable for her rage and she cleaned up her act enough to get me whatever I needed. When I came of age I could see the pain and the loneliness and that she didn’t want me to go. Her mom, my grandmother was a REAL piece of work if she had raised me I’d be a little off too.

[Jen.K]

Sam Vaknin, in a recent video said that people with BPD don't actually love and miss other people, they miss and love the service they get from other people, which is regulation. He says that one of the features of BPD is the inability to self-regulate, and they use other people for their regulation services. This rang true for me because my uBPD mother and uNPD father go through these cycles where they stop talking to each other, often for weeks at a time. During these periods, my mother will harass me, often multiple times a day, trying to get me I now understand is to validate or regulate her., because she is no longer getting that service from my father. As soon as they are talking again, she stops harassing me.

[hearme]

I have bpd traits and I find I went through different types of bpd. I’m working very hard to get this under control. I think the best things that happen to me was having my behavior shown to my face. I call my bpd my little child inside because that’s exactly how I act when I’m having a bpd episode. Like a hurt immature child. I try to get her together and let her know she will not ruine my life or become my mother. As I’m getting older it’s getting better.

[jessicareigel]

When I read "Understanding the Borderline Mother", over 15 years ago, I finally saw my childhood laid out on paper. Instances that I thought were unique to my experience were not. It was immensely helpful. My mother did the best she could. She grew up in horrible abuse, and she tried to leave that behind. She was a hermit, and a queen. She was petulant, and explosive. I never knew who I was walking into. Was she in a good mood, or full of rage? I was told I was a horrible person, that I was ungrateful, selfish. I was screamed at. Things were thrown at me. I know that she was a person full of pain. I feel sad that she never healed, and was extremely unhappy.

[lindsaytucker]

My daughter has BPD, I knew something was off since she was a young child but it wasn’t until her adolescent was it more prominent. She seems to be very impulsive but after listening to these categorized types I can see all of it in her. It’s hard to place her in just one.

[ocypodequadrata]

I really can’t tell if my mother is high functioning bpd or also a cptsd/ptsd case. She externalises anger and goes into dissociative rages where she can be really hurtful. But when she’s good, she’s good. She’s supportive, understanding. She can also be very vulnerable. I feel like she swings between discouraged and internalising and externalising and impulsive. Whatever it is, I have cptsd bc of it, and I have no idea how to navigate my relationship with her now.

[shai-shai]

For so long I didn’t understand what was wrong with my mother, I thought I was the problem. Some times I’d wake up having a normal day and then all of a sudden she’ll be like you look mean, why you look angry. When I’m not. Trying to tell me my emotions when it’s all just a projection. Most of it is always angry outbursts and it turns to be verbal abuse. I don’t know if she’s unaware or if it’s unconscious but I’m scared to tell her that she needs help or at least seek therapy

[Squinkey]

It’s also important to remember men are diagnosable with BPD as well. I’ve dated a couple of men with BPD, as someone with BPD we tend to find others like ourselves. And they were both on different ends of the spectrum and they were both neurodivergent as well.

[ashleyboyd]

Watching this video has made me realize that I feel as if different times of my life my BPD will come out differently. I’m a lot petulant/histrionic. But other times when I feel I haven’t been triggered in a while or it’s maybe calmed down, I’m mostly quiet. But then a big thing of rejection happens, or loss, and BAM. I become the witch and I’m so confused. Like my whole personality from a week prior just changes. And I’m like... raging and raging and can’t stop. I get this thing I call aggressive entitlement. But I feel so shameful when I see how it affects people and I tend to self destruct. I may not be making sense but thank you for this video. I feel I may represent all the subtypes depending on what’s going on in my life, who I’m around, and what I’m going through. And I also see this not just in myself, but in others in my family as well. This was super helpful. And I also realize that once you see these in yourself, you can get help, and you can change. It’s super super difficult. But it’s possible

[rw]

Diagnosed BPD with schism 2 years ago. Marriage is crumbling fast. Started DBT a month ago. BPD sucks….

[suzyq-llsw]

My mom has it and I think it's the queen to witch. I have BPD and OCD but I got treatment and I'm getting better. But my mother, she can't let anyone be happy

[Netanya-qb]

Yah I think I was misdiagnosed none of this is me.

[pablis]

I Guess I’m the thanos bpd type because I noticed that I have plenty of the characteristics of all those types (I’m cooked)

[Mi-a-Cree]

0:17 Disclaimers / Defusing / Who this is for
2:49 Clarifications;

3:30 BORDERLINE MOMS:
8:42 IMAGE “Borderline Moms”
4:50 Waif, Hermit, Witch, Queen (fantasy vibe/texture/feeling)
6:10 - WAIF: frail, easily wounded, hard time having deep social relationships, victim mentalaity; “no real role over what happens to them the world is happening TO them”.
-As Parent: permissive, cry rather than rage
-Anxiety, Depression, Internalizing, High/Low Functioning
6:58 - QUEEN: over the top, charismatic, demanding, domineering, controlling, self-assured, hard time managing anger, rageful, dramatic, histrionic, world functions to serve their purpose
-As Parent: no boundaries, kids need to see the world the way they do,
-Entitiled (attempt to be powerful over the wound)
7:43 - HERMIT: fearful, paranoid, afraid of the world, more negatively wired, worse-case-scenarios, phobias, superstitions, outward anger to silent treatment, suseptable to conspiracy theories, psychic (just knows).
8:14 - WITCH: exascerbation of all types (enraged phase), the ‘hardcore’ BPD symptomotology, intention is to wound/hurt, little to no self-control, classic outward hurtful behaviours, lots of conflict, vindictiveness, domineering, use shame/embarassement as parenting tool.

8:58 FIVE SUBTYPES
9:05 IMAGE “BPD Core Traits”
1. DISCOURAGED (usually called ‘High Functioning’ or [5.] ‘QUIET Borderline’, but “I think [these] are not the same [… but a] 5th [Subtype]”)
12:18 Clingy presenting; co-dependant (want but fears being alone), negative world view, need acceptance, prone to depression, self-harm (on edge with self/other relationships)
2. IMPULSIVE / Angry / Externalizing

3. PETULANT / Histrionic

4. SELF-DESTRUCTIVE / Depressive / Internalizing

9:49 5. QUIET / High-Functioning: Classic internalized expression of BPD, ‘High Functioning’ because wounds don’t ‘appear’ anywhere (Seems fine but not to themselves or those close to them)
10:13 IMAGE “Quiet/High Functioning BPD Subtype”
- more Waife presenting; inward, unseen unhealthy coping, low self-worth, blame themselves, set up the world where shit just happens to them, must carry the weight themselves, isolate from the overwhelm (connection with the world on a deeper level), Push/Pull for and against having relationships (Splitting: want but scared), confused about self, hide and suppress anger (seething; near boil; simmering wound; can’t see the heat on the surface), anger not expressed/ or only at home; family experience it intensely.
- more often missed; they can check the boxes, get things done (not always great, but ‘seems fine’)

[gaylereid]

Have you ever had so nuch to say, but no words with which to speak ? I’ve only just started to take my hurts seriously, & it’s the end of my life !! The language you use, the calm assurance you give. You are the person i needed most my whole life !! My heart feelsas if it were raw meat. You’re showing me ways to heal my heart!!! Do you understand what a gift of hope you’ve given me already ??? Dr Kim Sage???

[thefletchlife]

My ex-wife was diognosed BPD and ADHD. I had to end the marriage. Abuse, affairs, lies, threats of suicide, pleading me to stay, splitting, it's a nightmare for all involved.

[DrKimSage]

HI all! Any thoughts about these subtypes and your experiences? Anything you would add or change? xo

[carrielassiter]

I think my Mom had some of each at different times of her life and even overlapping at the same time.