How to get out of your own way

Do any of these statements sound familiar?

"It's very daunting and I have no clue where to start."

"I get a lot of ideas and get super excited, but then I never actually start anything."

"I am always frightened that everything will turn out wrong, so I might as well just quit while I'm ahead."

I'm in no way immune myself; I've felt all of these things. These days I get quite a lot of email, and as I read through the things you say you're struggling with in your sewing, the themes that begin to emerge give me an amazing bird's eye view, and I think I begin to see what's going on here.

This week, I have an idea for a shift that might get you out of that stuck place.

Love, Cathy x

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[samuell.foxton]

"Can you imagine being paralysed over making dinner because you're so stressed out that it's not going to turn out perfectly, so you just don't have dinner?"

Yes. It's happened.

[Rotten_Ralph]

“I give myself very good advice, but very seldom follow it.” Alice in Wonderland

[ej]

"Remember when this was supposed to be fun?" I needed that reminder. Oh, right. Hobby. Nothing explodes if I get it wrong. Thank you!

[kristenk]

My partner has a 6yr old who doesn't know how to just "play". He gets very stressed out about being perfect and doing things just right... A few weeks ago we went for a walk and after the walk we sat outside and I tried to build one of those stick sculptures and was shoving sticks in the ground and he started asking why, and I said just cause. He went back to what he was doing for a bit, and then asked what he should be doing and I said whatever you want! You could, dig a hole, or gather sticks, or pick flowers... and he was like oh...And then started digging. And then a few days later he said "Im gonna go outside and dig at the hole".

I think so many of us need permission and reminder to go and do things poorly and just enjoy them.

[LisaMantchev]

Because of the lockdown, we went full family farm and got ducklings. Our daily joy has been putting them in a giant Tupperware bin to swim. You cannot be stressed while watching ducklings swim.

[dani]

I flew a kite yesterday at the beach — it was really fun to just run with the kite streaming behind me, thirty feet in the air

[isabelthewriter]

This is exactly what I needed. My husband and I just cut each other’s hair and that felt like playing. I told him if he messed up, it grows back. He had the same attitude when I took the scissors to his hair. But ask me to cut fabric? Ask me to sit in front of my sewing machine and sew a straight seam? Well, there’s a reason I have skirt panels and not a whole skirt...

[rauha]

OMG, Cathy, I literally had a several hour long conversation with an old friend last night and for some reason I kept bringing this idea up that I really want to play more often, like we used to as kids: Run around and be free and playful and just do stuff, because it's fun. And I just kept coming back to it. This video convinced me to hold on to this thought, cause it's there for a reason.

[joelleburdette]

I received a hand made bud vase in a small business subscription box and I wanted to share it on social media to help give the business a boost. I started to agonize over how my photos are usually crap and my lighting is bad and I didn't have any good flowers anyway... Five seconds of that and I gave myself a talking to and just went and picked some dandelions for a quick photo. It was fine. In fact, picking dandelions was a joy!

[valentinejohnson]

I myself am still technically a child, I'm still in high school. Even so some of that child wonder and play is still with me and is still having an effect on my sewing. The most recent time that I can remember playing with my sewing was at least two months ago when I reupholstered my desk chair from a hot pink to a more historical from a distance tan with some lovely tassel trim. I have noticed as I'm getting more serous with my sewing and how in my subconscious I'm making it just so I can show off that wounder is starting to fade. I just need to slow down and have some fun with the fabric, perhaps take a day just to drape it on a dress form or myself and see what happens.

[christabeljoy]

To be honest I feel like I haven’t really played for about 7 years (a long time for a 15 year old!) because my parents have always ingrained in my head that if my time isn’t productive (to them that’s doing way more extra practice schoolwork problems than my brain can handle) then the time is being wasted. It always seems like they’re trying to outrun time, but in doing so they are missing out on the fun things in life and they never really look genuinely happy. I am finding out that work work work and work some more is not always the best for us and sometimes I need to try something new just for the heck of it, and if it goes well, great! If it doesn’t, then I learned something, and didn’t “waste my time.”



Edit:
it’s three months later and quarantine is hard living with my family, but I’m doing better. I’m learning how to love the little things. I’m finally starting to make and wear the clothes I want to (heavily inspired by the 1890s lol 😂) and I’m learning how to live for me and not perfect grades. I am learning to love sewing and reading and writing poetry and making art and I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is growing closer every day. I’m not perfect, and life is always hard, but I have realized that living others unachieved dreams makes life so much harder (also changing yourself to fit others expectations is so exhausting). I hope all the best for anyone who reads this! I hope you are doing well! 💛

[surabhiagrawal]

I've been playing tetherball a lot in my yard recently because it reminds me of childhood and recess in elementary school. And it's been so lovely! I forget about the rest of the world and all I'm thinking about is winding the ball around the pole. It's so funny. Sometimes I'll have family members rush outside and ask me, "why are you smiling so much? Who are you talking to? I saw you laughing and I had to come outside." And it makes me realize how little we play as adults. It would never surprise anyone if a little kid is playing. And so I want to play more to make it more normal for adults to play and let go

[JM-wtbf]

actual conversion in my house...
Me: stop fighting boys Aunty Cathy is talking!
brother 1: you have Aunty Cathy's phone number?
Me: No, the other Cathy
Brother 1: then how -
Brother 2: who's -
Me: just listen

all three brothers: soooo you going to play outside with us now

[ambsokay]

I made a bow tie today, Not a clip on, a proper one. Put on a old button down, learned how to tie the bow, and walked around with my tiny bow until the rain stopped. Before starting my day, This afternoon I spent a good while just playing with my twisty hyperactive dog, Mustang💖 And then that's right now... I'm just sitting here, one kitten chewing on my finger And he's 2 brothers playing in my lap 💖All in all, I've had a very pleasant day.

[tylersdog]

Thanks for this little tap on the shoulder, Cathy. Me, I like to frame things - collected images, bits and bobs, so yesterday I did play; went into the work room, hauled out my 'to frame' stack plus my box of thrift-shop frames (much more unique than what's in stores) plus fabric, paper, etc. and went to town. It was DEEPLY satisfying.

[rebeccafoust]

I have always called my crafting, woodworking, and the tools to do a project, my toys. Thanks for the reminder. I am heading back to the playground and toybox.

[liscampbell]

I have almost finished a 3 year BFA degree. It has mostly been play for me. And LOTS of hours. I have loved it. It broadened my horizons immensely. I have now begun a Regency recreation. I watch with my 9 year old daughter doll art and BJD on YouTube and we play with dolls together and dream of our own art dolls and BJD ... I think about the next step of my future and how to keep it creative and fun and full of play. Thanks for the videos 💕

[auntkaz]

When I started quilting (26 years ago) I loved playing... Sorting through fabrics and putting together what made me happy, designing projects out of thin air, fancy and pure imagination and trying out more and more new techniques. Somewhere along the line things got too complicated, things had to be too perfect, the UFOs piled up and I lost the joy in my craft. I have not quilted in 5 years. I can't tell you how very sad that last sentence makes me. Perhaps its time I played with fabric again...

[aragornrose]

Recently I just took an old cereal box, and painted it with... whatever I wanted. Called it Evil cereal, and now I use it every day for my cereal. It’s not at all the level of quality I normally deal with, but the entire time I made it (and afterwards too) I just... had fun.

[rebeccashields]

Today with my children! We took the day off quarantine home school today to relax as it’s just been a struggle this week. And I don’t even remember what it was that started it, but I just remember at one point we were guffawing with laughter!! It was an amazing feeling and I’m so glad I was able to take it in while in the moment - even if I don’t remember what started or caused it - the why doesn’t matter! The laughter and joy was what mattered!