Your Ex's Thoughts During No Contact

I'm going to explain what really goes on in your ex's mind during no contact. This is one of the most misunderstood aspects of a breakup, and getting it right can be the difference between moving forward or falling back into old patterns.

Many people think that when they go into no contact, their ex is simply relieved and goes on with their life without a second thought. But that’s often far from the truth, and understanding the real thoughts and emotions your ex experiences can give you valuable insight into what’s happening and how to handle it.

First, let’s talk about the initial reaction.

When you first initiate no contact, your ex is likely to feel a sense of relief.

They’ve made a tough decision, and now that decision is in motion.

They might even convince themselves that they made the right choice, and they could start to enjoy the freedom that comes with being single again.

But don’t be fooled by this initial phase. This relief is often temporary, and it’s followed by a much more complex and confusing emotional journey.

As the days go by without hearing from you, your ex starts to enter the curiosity stage.

This is where things begin to shift. They expected you to reach out, to beg, to plead, or to try to convince them to reconsider.

But when you don’t do any of those things, it catches them off guard. They begin to wonder why you’re not contacting them.

Have you moved on? Are you seeing someone else? Do you really not care anymore? These questions start to play in their mind, and the curiosity can slowly turn into concern.

This concern is where no contact truly starts to work in your favor. Your ex begins to realize that maybe they don’t have as much control over the situation as they thought. The initial confidence they felt after the breakup starts to waver.

They might even begin to miss the comfort of knowing that you’re always there, just waiting in the wings if they decide they made a mistake. The fear of losing you for good becomes real, and this is when they start to think about you more frequently.

But let me be clear: it’s not enough for them to simply miss you. That’s not what brings them back.

So what does bring them back to you?

It’s the realization that they could lose you and that you’re strong enough to walk away that really makes them reconsider their decision.

This is why staying in no contact is so crucial to allow your ex's thoughts during no contact to wonder to you.

If you reach out too soon, you disrupt this process.

You confirm their belief that you’re always going to be there, which can make them feel secure in their decision to end the relationship.

As time passes, your ex might start to romanticize the relationship. They begin to remember the good times, the laughs, the connection you shared. The negative aspects that led to the breakup fade into the background, and they start to wonder if they made a mistake.

This is often when they’ll test the waters. Maybe they’ll like one of your social media posts, or they’ll reach out with a casual text to see how you’re doing. They’re trying to gauge where you stand without putting themselves in a vulnerable position.

When they reach out, it’s important to remember that this isn’t necessarily a sign that they’re ready to get back together. It’s more of a fishing expedition.

They want to know if you’re still available, if you’re still interested, if they could still have you if they wanted. This is where you need to be strong and not jump at the first sign of interest. Remember, your ex needs to feel that they could lose you.

They need to be the ones to take the risk, to reach out with something more substantial than a casual text or social media interaction.

The longer no contact goes on, the more your ex is forced to confront their own emotions and the reality of their decision. They might start to feel regret, fear, or even jealousy if they think you’ve moved on. These emotions are powerful motivators that can drive them to reconsider the breakup altogether. But again, this only happens if you give them the space and time to experience these feelings fully.

In this video, I’m going to walk you through each of these thought stages of your ex in more detail, giving you the insight you need to navigate no contact successfully.

You’ll learn what to expect, how to stay strong, and why patience is your greatest ally in this process.

So, stick around, because understanding your ex’s thoughts during no contact could be the key to getting them back.

[jaydub]

No contact works! It’s been eight months of no contact. My ex didn’t come back, but I got myself back, which is better than my ex coming back. Thank you Coach Lee.

[laoshimei]

4 months of no contact, worked for us and we're back together. It's been two years and we are going stronger. Thanks coach, Lee.

[RamboPresident]

After 2.5 months of separation, I am pretty much healed and happy it’s the way it is. She didn’t make me happy. It was the feeling she gave me. Coach Lee, you were a big part of my healing and the voice of reason when I felt like dying. Now I am BACK! Still love watching these videos!

[TimStJohn-xprv]

No contact does work! Going no contact is def scary, but patience is key. Coach Lee & Coach Ken are the best. I never did book a session. But I have watched so many videos and it's helped my anxiety. My ex and I are back together, attending counseling. She had a confession while we were apart. She told me she would call my work just to hear me answer and then hang up. I said why didn't your number show up? She blocked her number for those calls. I was shocked! So when you think no contact isn't working! That is when it is probably working the most! Trust the process!

[vinishdyla]

5 months of nc and i'm doing better. I decided not to fix what i had not broken! Self worth and dignity✌

[oncallempath]

Going on 16 months no contact. It’s a rough ride and of the hardest things I’ve ever did. This person doesn’t think and never cared from the start. I was just the flavor of the month.

[arnoldgerber]

NC day 12 😮‍💨 I don’t know if I should give up hope! The breakup was messy and she blocked me everywhere! I genuinely felt a connection and was willing to work on myself, for myself and our relationship. Fighting the temptations, memories and idealizing thoughts. I miss her.

[Omnitrix]

Month 4 of no contact. Didn't think I would make it, but here we are😊

[John-szmc]

Coach Lee was 100% right. Had a fight 4 weeks ago. Implemented No Contact and today received a text. we're meeting tomorrow. Works! Thank you Coach Lee 👍

[PDHulme]

Always look forward to your latest video- have became a fan of your channel these last 7 weeks while estranged from my wife - Paul (Lincolnshire England)👌

[AineeZahra-wwsk]

Desperatly waitting for this video Sir❤

[aussieXI]

I don't care what my ex thinks, becouse if she thinks, she never gonna dump me. So, I don't care will she contact me, or not. I'm on NC for a 25 days and my love, affection for her, are fade.
She's with another, and why should I suffer, my time will come, and she will regret for all things she do behind my back.
Karma will get satisfaction ☺️
Thx coach Lee!! 🥂

[seizmo]

Its been several months and I dont want her back.

[aballyf]

50 days of NC! I don’t think she’s coming back! I don’t need her! Hopefully someday I will find someone who will stay with me and not leaving me like that!

[safwathullahsaud]

Thank you so much coach lee, for these videos.

[ian]

I miss my ex still. We were together for 11 and half years and it's only been three weeks. I've made peace with the fact we may never get back together but it sucks.

[anamikasimer]

Your videos were life saving during initial days of make videos on how to develop inner strength..how to detach...how to develop confidence, , , how to deal with loneliness, , emotional regulation etc .

You can not predict anybody 's mind.people do what they do.

[jrodirizarry]

4 months into the separation after a six year relationship, I begged and pleaded the first 2 months. Went into no contact and now I'm feeling better day by day, still hopeful she'll one day return but nc has made me move on one day at a time. Please listen to Coach Lee!

[captainlonag]

NC for almost a month now. I do feel a little better, but the longer of NC the stronger I feel she is the one i truly want and the more dedicated i am. Ive bettered myself so much in the past month. She was always the person to give me the last push i needed to make certain decisions, looks like she did it again

[aerosmith]

Thank you Coach Lee! Of all the Coach's, you and Coach Ken make the most sense. Very simplified and true statements! Thank you Sir!