Why do Narcissists Target Self Confidence and Self Esteem?

Narcissism is characterised by a sense of entitlement and being self absorbed. There’s a lack of empathy for others. They can be highly disagreeable and highly resistant to criticism. They can also be envious of others, and believe others should envy them.

Many people who have been in long term relationships report their self confidence, self esteem and sense of self had been eroded over time. This video looks at how and why that happens.

Other videos you might find interesting:
How covert narcissists manipulate
How narcissists make their victims look like villains
How Narcissists Bully Others
What happens when you ignore a narcissist?

If you need support for being abused there are some helpful links below.

This video is for information purposes only

Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos in the comment section.

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#narcissism #narcissistrelationship #abusiverelationship

[DarrenFMagee]

Thanks for joining me this evening, sorry I'm new to this and didn't realise the live chat would end as quick.

[thescapegoatclub]

I think narcissists are threatened by self-esteem in others because they can’t stand the knowledge that they are fundamentally lacking. They will never admit it, and gaslight and manipulate to hide it, but it’s the fear of their own misery that fuels them into attacking others.

[martiwalsh]

I told a new therapist that I had trust issues. He said, "Ok, who do you have trouble trusting?" I said, "Oh, you know, people who breathe, "

[colouredgal]

My old narcissist put my looks down all the time and felt entitled to my time. Isolated me by telling me I had no friends when in fact I’m an introvert lol. I’ve always been the person who likes a few friends than many.

[Lyrielonwind]

Every time you want to assert yourself or your choices, they will be oppositional, no matter what because they want you in robotic mode, waiting for their orders.
They will also act like you should "read their minds".

[clairedot]

Finally Someone on the internet that actually understands how a narcissist works!

[Canaday]

You just described the malignant narcissist I divorced. He is targeting my children alienating and isolating them..breaking their wills and robbing them of their autonomy, self worth, self esteem, drive, and confidence to the point they give up on all of their passions, goals, talents, academics, sports, friendships, girlfriends, and social lives.

[amyj.]

I'm done tripping over grown ass people, who temper tant when they don't get their way

[TC-gxqn]

That last statement was so powerful, Darren! 💕 I believe one main reason they target self-esteem is because they know you deserve better and are capable of finding someone far superior to them in every way and they want you to lose sight of that truth.

[ChristiaanHartNibbrig]

Very insightful. Thank you. (Many narcissists speak badly of victims behind their backs, to people who know the victim; tearing them down when the victim is not around, i.e. they "poison the well" about victim.)

[IzabelaWaniek-ix]

If the narcisist breaks your self esteem and self confidence they are on a straight way to break your spirit which means the destruction of a human being. Evil at work.

[zygknnd]

Darren - very wisely said. I would add when a target loses self estem, self perception - narc will fully control this person and train them to a servant role, a totally different personality type. IT is like wiping out hardrive in a computer now you can put inside whatever you want. The the full process of establishing a slave is finished (killing personality) - narc discards this target and goes to another one. When the target loses himself we can observe a total disdain from narc to the target for allowing this process.

[DennisNowland]

Very jealous, cruel people, are narcissists.

[sssttt]

Qualcomm where i worked, bosses are mostly narcissists... They show all these signs you described, they tell something as your weakness and criticise you constantly till you break down... If you ask for clarification for their decisions, criticism you don't get any .. but you are punished for minor mistakes ( most of the times those are not even mistakes) that these bosses have thought as mistake for years... They don't tell you why you are getting punished... They use passive aggressive communication to give you feedback and often use 3rd party as a bridge between you and them so they look good in your eyes, while they can Target you... They operate on frenemies... Their only objective is to get work done by you but look good in your eyes, for that use passive aggressive techniques of communication and holding your progress till you achieve the perfection that they have thought you must achieve before elegible for their approval... This is most pathetic treatment anyone can get...

[mariawalcott]

Thanks Darren ⭐️it’s good to have this reminder especially when living with a narcissist. I need to make a plan to leave 🙏

[anuksunamun]

After listing to this, I think I am married to a narcissist husband. I'm on 2x anticipation medications and must always hear that I need to do more positive thinking and get out of my depression. We are married for 21 years.

[kennethlapointesongwriter]

All spot on. They also target empaths. These are people who are extra-empathetic towards their fellow human beings. Called 'over-sensitive' sometimes, and really wanting to help others, really get down to deeper levels of senses and feelings and emotions and communication....Enter The Narc when he sees such a person....and goes AHA! Food for me! Luckily I'm a sigma empath so I'm definitely an empath but also like a tiger.

[robertmessam]

This is really the building blocks of having an incredible realisation and powerful healing in a safe environment.

[herbvoigt]

You hit the nail right on the top. My wife is a prime example of it.

[dianaverano]

I will not clip my wings for these narcs who pick up on my dreams.

Yes you tell a narc, this is what I want for my career, that person will shoot down my ideas.

From now on, I will do those stuff in silence. These narcs poison our hearts and minds, kill our dreams.

We should not bow down to these criticisms built on lies to undermine us, to doubt our selves and stop us to be our best version.

We get our validation from God.
I am God's powerful champion. I am blessed.