Shame Is Not Your Enemy

Full video:

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[fisicogamer]

"how do I overcome my liver? fu**ing liver."
Kanojia, Alok, 2024

[roderdoder]

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame" -Uncle Iroh

[jcnot]

This whole idea of atonement and living up to my own expectations to overcome inadequacy has personally helped me a lot. It’s reassuring to hear other people have a similar experience.

[dend]

Society teaches us to judge others for their outcomes, (Did they get the girl, the job, the money, the degree, the grade, etc), but human beings do not directly control their outcomes, only their actions.

Toxic shame arises when we start judging ourselves for our outcomes rather than our actions. It’s a slippery slope of suffering driven by comparisons, the moving of goal posts and cognitively reframing wins into losses.

Focus on your actions, you are owed them every day. Judge others and yourself "only" by the actions taken on a daily basis.

Shame is your ally, but you must focus it towards action in the present, and allow it to subside in acknowledgement of improvement within those actions

[TheGuardDuck]

This needs better context. Some shame is abusive and legitimately bad. Not the, "I should lose weight" shame, but "everybody hates me" shame. If someone doesn't understand this difference, this advice will not help them.

[Sandy-ofgq]

This is the first time I'm hearing something different than "heal your shame" and this resonates with me much more.

[jxdinglol]

This is how self-care is done. Anxiety and shame are feelings that can feel both negative or positive depending on your perspective. It's similar to the way that being nervous is 99.9% the same feeling as being excited, and it's that last 0.1% that differentiates between whether you're nervous or excited. It's all about how your mind perceives the situation at hand, and what it plans to do about it. Learned helplessness plays a MASSIVE role.

[hamsteratemyhomework]

Bit of a specification, sometimes shame is misleading. Very situation based. Like, if you're in a relationship where you are guilt tripped for something you have little to no control over and feel shame for not being able to change it. Especially if it breeds insecurity long term.
If you are in the right head space and it's NOT shame based on others/society, manipulating/gaslighting you, then it's worth considering acting on it

[Inspocgn]

Another question: I feel ashamed of my body, despite being skinny and fit. My journey began differently, but losing weight didn’t alleviate the shame; if anything, it intensified. Do you have another video discussing similar topics, where despite all efforts, one still grapples with deep-seated shame? 😅

[charmyzard]

"well you know what? At least I did something today."
More motivating thoughts have never been spoken.

[palindont]

I love this, but also my shame comes from mishandled social interactions. There is one particular instance that I've been playing over and over again in my head. I misheard a someone soft spoken and gave a strange response.

I wish I had a tangible change upon which I could grasp. The ability to smoothly respond to conversational surprises, maybe. I would give anything to have an area to study for improvement.

[jonathanlopez]

Bro I love this, this was solid! Literally a new perspective

[Temilian]

This is really what I need since I often make shame my enemy.

[bm]

I have no idea how to act on feeling ashamed that people are around me. That I’m somehow burdening everyone with my presence. That they really actually hate me and bring me around because they feel bad about me. I have no idea how to take action on that. And if I ask them and they say I’m not a burden I don’t believe them

[alternatives]

I've been doing this with several things in my life that i feel that shame. They don't really help me. In the end, yes, i do workout, but i also feel miserable, because it's shame and guilt driving me to do so. So then, my relationship with exercise becomes toxic and i don't know how to make it pleasant again. I don't get escape from the shame and i also feel miserable for feeling miserable... Is there any other way to tackle this?

[momsaccount]

Gravity… it’s all an illusion… *I have harnessed, the harness*

[missmg]

I don't think I will ever be able to split my brain like that, but in those few seconds she helped me understand the very basics about rhythm, which was never quite clear when I took music class in college. Thank you.

[zsoltmarkgyenes]

Like when you realize being confident about being insecure makes you paradoxically confident.

“Yeaaah, you are better than me in something and I feel stupid - you know what? Fuck it, I enjoy this feeling, tell me more about how you do that shit.”

People are so confused when I am tell them I like to feel stupid about topics or be insecure. 😂😂

How else would I know when I need to learn about something? 😬

[BloodyMistGeneral]

"The happiness you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding".

[bethb.]

I'm 68 and somehow this understanding came to me just this year that I am not the thing undone, I will do the thing. It has changed my relationship to myself. Now I am doing what I need to do, and no longer feeling overwhelmed.