The opposite of anxiety isn't relaxation, it's THIS

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In this video, I share a compelling theory I recently heard that the opposite of anxiety/stress isn't relaxation, but rather loving-kindness. The research on this topic comes from positive psychology and stress responses. I discuss some concrete exercises to implement this finding in day-to-day life.

Intro music: Church of 8 Wheels by Otis McDonald
Outro music: Lensko Let’s Go

[AnaPsychology]

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Also, happy solar eclipse! It's almost at its peak right as I'm typing this :)

[KelseyKoala]

Maybe it's just because I have social anxiety, but the opposite of anxiety being connection makes a lot of sense to me!

[KarnodAdlhorn]

This makes so much sense.
Anxiety is, emotionally, to move away from people, kindness is the emotional state of moving towards people.
Relaxation is neutrality towards people. It's comfortable boredom.

Edit: Oh my god, Ana has Seen my comment! 🙀

[SilesSlumberParty]

this is just like Bratz: passion 4 fashion diamondz when Sharidan is nervous to walk the cat walk and then the girlies all hype her up and she gets confidence from them supporting her and the dope fashions she designed<3

[oponomo]

YES! so much yes. It is impossible to feel anxious while caring. I've aways felt that my dad wasn't a good person because he was constantly worried about others, which is different than caring, and took me years to understand that wasn't compassion, it was his own feelings of self preservation.

[xionelectra]

I have so much respect for this brilliant woman

[VioletEmerald]

I think this makes a lot of sense in terms of attachment theory where like feeling anxious is feeling insecure and when you feel secure in the world you can be calmer as a human being. I don't think helping others is enough. I think you need to receive genuine appreciation from them and other acts of love from them and validation and then you will feel more secure.

[katherineliriano]

I have struggled with anxiety for so long. Since I was a teen. And now that Ana puts it this way, I can totally relate. I have never felt so at ease with myself as I feel now, working as a Doctor and serving other people (and trying to do so in the best of my abilities). Taking the time to smile at someone and listen to their life stories while also helping them to heal makes me feel fantastic. I may go home and feel physically tired but my heart feels rejoiced. I hope residency and such doesn’t take the joy of helping people heal from me.

[babaganouche]

This... explains a lot. I have struggled for years with being too self absorbed in myself. I want to have more genuine kindness and finally I have a new way to go about my goal. Thank you!

[ronwisegamgee]

Without knowing that loving kindness was the opposite of anxiety, I can attest to experiencing the absence of anxiety whenever I interact with my cats, which brings me joy. Honestly, I can't recall when I've been consciously relaxed while awake; even when there's nothing urgent or worrying going on, I simply find myself wondering "what's the next crisis or obligation going to be" in the interim.

Thanks for pointing this out, Dr. Ana. Have a great week!

[ImLehwz]

Never thought of it this way. Mostly tried relaxation as a way to get out of my anxiety or calm me down. I really like the idea about connection and warmth.

[Jiaxin_ssr]

The opposite of anxiety is not kindness/love/care. The opposite of anxiety acceptance by others, acceptance of self, and acceptance of others. It's a fundamental human need.

[nonono]

I finally got your novel, worksheet book and journal. I will leave a review when I read/use them, in a few months!

[amaras.]

Huh... the first time I tried out therapy, I was told to journal, but I quickly decided to start actively looking for things to be grateful for, things to appreciate, things that would make myself and others happy, whenever I had intense, borderline overwhelming negative feelings well up within me. Nothing worked so effectively to bring me back to a more neutral contentment than that did. I'm surprised that what I did has a name and is actually a practice! Thank you for sharing and enlightening us ^^

[elsagrace]

If you have too much anxiety you may be living around stingy and cold, unempathetic people who do not care about your needs. It’s not going to help how much you do for them.

[jennw]

I've gone back to my Heartmath practice recently and so it does make a lot of sense that kindness and appreciation (to self and others) is the opposite of anxiety. It shares elements of Metta, The Inner Smile (from chi kung) and gratitude journaling, but focuses on feeling positive feelings as an embodied experience. My fave way is snuggling with my cat!

[elsagrace]

Anxiety is also needing kindness from other people. Your life problems aren’t going to disappear by giving only.

[PANDIRIWANG]

1. Do the opposite action - show gratitude, notice gratitude
2. Do something kind for someone everyday and track it, speak of it :) and savor the connection
3. Pet your pets :)
4. Take an other-focused approach
5. Practice loving kindness when meditating :)
6. See someone annoying/acting immature/being difficult like a little kid and treat them w compassion
7. Write gratitude letters / love notes !!! ❤ no need for a special occasion

[dariiagaycheva]

This has really helped me understand what I’ve beeb subconsciously doing for a very long time. I’m one of those people who can’t just fall asleep whenever they need to and almost always feel even more awake and anxious if I try to relax to fall asleep, however, the moment I start imagining different romantic/wholesome scenarios in my head I am able to instantly relax and eventually fall asleep

[meliol]

I never comment but this video was the exact oppisite of what I needed. I am burned out of helping others, my work is helping others and everyone around me is constaly asking more from me. I don't know how to take breaks or say no to someone in need. I need to work on myself I know. Because I think my low self-esteem makes me not value myself very much and everyone just expects me to do everything. I don't know how to relax. I have anxiety. This was just written because I needed an outlet to let out my feelings, not ment to be negatively aimed at you.