The anatomy of the narcissistic BOSS

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[Clevelandsteamer]

People don’t quit jobs… they quit bosses !

[respectfullytruthful]

I'm literally in my car taking deep breaths . I'm preparing for what might be an ambush meetings. I have secured an attorney. I have documentation. HR and the boss are both gaslighters. I'm preparing my exit plan. Please send me some positive vibes and prayers for a good resolution (if you believe in prayer). Thanks Dr. Romani . I feel seen. I going to take a power walk before the meeting.

[nancybartley]

Some workplaces are simply just like dysfunctional family systems. There are golden children, scapegoats, enablers, narcissists, flying monkeys, etc. Watch out if you are doing your job well. You are a threat to many.

[Ash-srxi]

I just quit my narcissistic boss today 😊

[daynapeterson]

The WORST boss I ever had in my 40 yr career showed up on Day 1, slammed the glass door behind her, walked into her office and kicked her metal trashcan across the room. I KNEW I WAS GOING TO HAVE TROUBLE. I was her secretary. I pulled out my notebook and pen on Day 1. I knew I had to document everything.

[robinantonio]

Narcissistic boss destroyed my 28 yr nursing career with lies when I stood up to her( I wrote to her boss about an incident that she was blaming me for, but she never spoke to the person who admitted she actually did it, not me- it wasn't even a complaint, just " this is what actually happened, just so you know"- her boss did not even acknowledge my letter), after years of her bullying me.

[lorraines.]

I'm currently working for a narcissistic boss and the entire atmosphere feels like a heavy weight on me when I'm at work. Prayer and daily Bible reading is the only thing getting me through it. I don't know what I'd do if Jesus wasn't in my corner.

[brwinter]

Last night I had a work nightmare. I retired 10 years ago.

[dnbisiw]

Here's a tip about narcissistic bosses and coworkers for everyone: they do warn you, but in a very subtle way.

A narcissistic boss will tell you that they had difficulty with a previous employee, and that the employee refused to work with them, or tried to avoid them, or some such thing. But that narcissistic boss will still be be polite, cooperative and agreeable while they're telling you this, so you won't notice the flashing red light.

I think this warning behavior is the workplace equivalent of the romantic partner who tells you at the very beginning of a relationship that he/she is a bad person, breaks hearts, is a scumbag, etc., but because that partner is being so nice, you don't believe him. The boss is also on his/her best behavior, so when they talk about this previous employee, you'll think the employee was at fault. The fact is, that boss has just told you that she's an abuser.

Narcissistic bosses also want to get chummy really quickly, like wanting to go out to eat. It'll happen within a month of meeting you, or less than a month. This also is the workplace equivalent of the romantic partner who wants to marry you within a month of meeting you. Narcissists like to rush all their relationships because they have a goal in mind. Other than that, they are incapable of relationships.

You don't actually have any friends in the workplace anyway. A workplace isn't the right place to make friends.

[masquarra]

One boss made sure to make “friends” with the heads of competing corporations. So if his victims attempted to leave/apply he would be alerted and punish their bravery

[Andromeda_M]

I have a covert narc boss. They're the worst because their superiors think they're just a hard working nice guy. I started taking screen shots of our chat for WHEN he throws me under the bus or sets me up. They triangulate and monkey-branch with overt narc coworkers that are not direct reports. They're also very friendly for long periods of time while you're in their full control. They act like they're a "company guy" trying to "save money" while manipulating and dumping an unrealistic amount of work on fewer and fewer people.

[flowerchild]

I've definitely had a narcissistic boss or two. It's awful. I ended up quitting a job because of how badly I was treated. There was lying, gaslighting, and gossiping going on by the head boss, who was a principal!!! I documented everything! Documentation is a MUST!!!

[bohohobo]

I walked away from a 20 yr teaching career to clean houses for a living. Never been happier. People think I’m nuts. I even thought I was nuts. But I did it and enjoy every day.

[RobinSpeer]

Working in a toxic environment is like walking on broken glass with bare feet. There is absolutely no amount of bonus or severance that is worth the mental gymnastics that you have to endure in these situations. If you're in one, I would highly recommend that you get out as soon as you can. Make the plan, update your skills and exploit whatever you can from the toxic work place until you can get out. Continue to document, document, document especially if you are under contract.

[buddygrouper]

This describes my university perfectly. If the harm of toxic workplaces is so well known, public institutions allowed to operate this way must be held to account.

[jannlewandowski]

Hi Dr Ramani. Where I worked my final job, before retirement, EVERY boss was a narcissist! I kid you not! I completely IGNORED them, did my job, obeyed them, of course, and down deep inside, I felt like kicking them in the ass with a POINTED shoe...

[costelloandlizzievolk]

This is depressing. I’ve left toxic jobs with gaslighting narcissists and had to fight hard to get my career back, only to find I may be in another work situation with a narcissist. It seems pretty hard to get away from. Hoping and praying for a better different job. Doing what I can for now as I have to work and don’t know what else to do. It’s exhausting. 😢

[Erikalee]

My boss is something else. A coworker was diagnosed with breast cancer on Halloween. And when we told her she said her Halloween plans have been ruined cause the employee with breast cancer had to leave early. And the boss cried "she ruined my plans, and that's how I feel 😪

[heatherheather]

These narcissistic bosses put themselves in a position where there’s very little accountability. They know how much they can get away with, stay protected and who they can use. She knew how to feed coworkers just enough information to get them on her side - faux friendly. Future faking…an expert at it. I loved my job and I was hired because of my expertise but nothing was ever followed up on and she would gladly throw you under the bus to protect herself through official sounding emails contradicting what she had said earlier. Getting nowhere! Like you say, Dr Ramani, get everything in writing including what is offered during the hiring process. Thank you!

[Marella]

I worked for a manager for years who checked every box that Dr. R mentioned. It took me a long time to realize how toxic this person is, and I now see how working for a narc boss has limited my career growth. They don't train you to move into the next position. They coach you on how to be their best puppet. I see that pattern with a person that I am working with now, so it's time to go.