Surviving a Friendship Break-Up: My 3 Truths After Getting Dumped

Do you feel disillusioned about friendship? Have you been hurt before and aren’t sure you want to trust again? Are you tempted to think that people who leave you feeling disappointed or hurt are bad people? The truth is that relationships can be full of disappointments and pain… but they are still worth it. In this honest video (the 1st of a 3-part series), Shasta Nelson, who typically teaches us how to make new friends or deepen existing friendships, shares with us the 3 Truths that guided her as she went through a recent break-up with a friend. Our goal when we’re hurting is to find the beliefs that will help us not only heal and recover, but also come through these painful times with more hope, joy, and love. May this video offer you some wisdom if you’re in the midst of some friendships that hurt.

For more on why it’s important to practice personal growth in the midst of disappointing friendships and how to best respond to such things as jealousy, judgment, and unhealthy friends, read section 3 of Shasta’s book Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness.

[laceyjackson]

I’m in the middle of a friendship break up right now. I was closer to her than I am to my own family. It just sucks when you really trust someone and you trust very few people. We were so so close and it was her decision to “break up”, not mine. It just hurts so bad. The years and years of friendship and you don’t even know what happened. She feels like a different person. 🙁

[SouthernExploring]

The worst is when you part ways with a friend and it really hurts you, but you see they are going on like they don't even care one way or the other.. it makes you realize they never cared in the first place.

[owethunxele]

I never thought I’d ever search “how to break up with your best friend”, I’m crying while watching this.

[tacosushi]

My friends left me. I dealt with depression and anxiety and the feeling of being left out.

It hurts that going through mental health some people abandon you and neevr give you a second chance

[laurawilkinson]

I agree with taking ownership for mistakes but I disagree with trying to guess where you went wrong like saying “maybe she didn’t feel loved by me in this way” “maybe I can improve in other relationships” thats just a guess. If a person doesn’t communicate to you how you are going wrong then how can you possibly improve. This is the problem I have. People go through a friendship pretending all is good and well then “break up” with you over one mistake but actually it’s because they’ve taken issues over several things they just haven’t told you. I’m not about to start guessing what I’m doing wrong. If I knew it was wrong I wouldn’t do it! Just tell me where I’m going wrong and I’ll try to improve 😊 don’t wait till it gets to breaking point then leave!

[PaulClipMaster]

All endings are for the best. Everyone should be who they are and accepted for it. Those we are no longer compatible with should leave. No reason to feel bad. Just accept you're not compatible. You should not have to change for them and they should not have to change for you.

[pattymarquez]

It takes alot of maturity to think this way. It makes so much sense. I just experienced a breakup with a best friend of 20 years. Once We moved in together it all went sour. She was upset at me for things I had no idea bothered her. Then she made a choice without onsulting me as a rommate and expected me to just accept it. When I brought up my opinion evergthing just came out of how unhappy we were living together. I thought we made up and then the next day she started to treat me different. I felt so unwelcomed I picked my things up and moved out. We are both to blame yet I dont want to live in a place I dont feel welcomed. I go back and forth in my emotions and cry alot. This was the LAST person I expected this to happen with. I know I will heal and thanks for this video.

[sarah]

I had a best friend break up this year after seven years of very intense closeness. I feel like I piece of me has changed. I have to heal and accept. It’s going to be ok.

[CherishedbyGod]

I needed this today so badly. It's been almost 3 months since my friendship breakup and the pain worsens every day.

[graciegranier]

I’m in a friendship breakup right now we were bffs for 7 years

[TringaNebulosa]

I wish I had watched this a year or two ago. A friendship I had died a slow, painful death and I handled it really badly, mainly because I didn't realise or understand what was happening until too late. I'm doing better, and I can feel grateful now for this friendship, but I still feel the pain, and these videos help a lot. They make me feel cared for. Thank you so much.

[georgiaerin]

My friend pushed me to my absolute limit by cancelling plans, not supporting me, breaking the girl code. I snapped eventually because I felt so unloved, and she dumped me and took all our mutual friends with her, now I have no one. I know I hurt her in the past and I did my best to try and fix these but I never thought she'd dig the knife in that deep and leave me with no one. It's only been a few days and I feel so much pain, some of the last words she said still play in my mind and hurt just as much as they did the first time. I hope this pain ends soon. Thanks for the video, I will continue to watch the rest of the series in the hope it helps

[aizakaleem]

"Deep hurt cause it was deep love" that hit home

[underlyingconcept]

4:50 "Deep pain because there was deep love". Very helpful video! Been almost 2 years and still hurts. The love does not go away. Sending best wishes <3

[nolidcreations]

" I can be a really really good person and still mess up... I can be loving and still fail people!"

That really hits home... I am so glad I heard it and will never forget it..

Thank you for these videos and for sharing 😔

[hadleyhodson]

i had a friendship drift away and i dealt with it so badly. i wish i could go back and just get the nerve to actually change something and restore the friendhsip right there and then instead of going through all the pain i went through. let me tell u its so hard and maybe i was just to dependent so it affected me really badly but moral of the story is that right now me and my best friend are back and stronger than ever. keep going, dont give up

[claire_annplayz]

I JUST LOST MY BEST FRIEND SHE EVEN BLOCKED ME I AM BALLING MY EYES OUT!! 😰😫😭💔 I FEEL LIKE NOBODY EVEN CARES

[bethmartof]

Sometimes it’s actually for the best. Think of it this way. If you loved them and they left you, they probably won’t find anyone that loves them the same, especially if they were fake and didn’t stand by their convictions. They will find other “fake” people and maybe that will be a learning experience for them. You are free from a fake person. 😊😊😊. There are good true people out there who will accept, support and not ghost you, and you should be there for them as they are for you. 😊

[chocolate]

3:20 1. Relationships hurt. They're also amazing.
6:33 2. I messed up, and I am not a bad person.
9:33 3. She's messed up, and she is not a bad person.

[ogsaladbar]

This is the exact same situation I’m in rn! Down to the “I messed up in saying something that was taken out of context and I feel like I failed as a friend.” I always hear from the end of the friend who was hurt, but never from the one who messed up. The way he handled it wasn’t mature either, but I have to forgive and be grateful for what we had. It still hurts but this video was exactly what I needed.
Thank you!!!