Surviving a Friendship Break-Up: Repairing a Fractured Friendship

Did you disappoint a friend and you fear that she’s going to walk away from the friendship? Did you make a friend mad with your actions or hurt her feelings with your words, but now you aren’t sure how to make things right? Did a friendship end and you wish you could try to fix it? In this honest video (the 2nd of a 3-part series), Shasta Nelson, who typically teaches us how to make new friends or deepen existing friendships, shares with us what she wishes she could have done to try to repair a friendship that needed fixing. Here are the steps to try if you need to apologize and make things right.

For more on why it’s important to practice personal growth in the midst of disappointing friendships and how to best respond to such things as jealousy, judgment, and unhealthy friends, read section 3 of Shasta’s book Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness.

[colonelburton]

The worst part about this whole thing is that the more remorse you feel and the more you love the person you hurt, the more days feel like weeks without being able to make amends because the wounds need a vast amount of time to heal...

[kahinaaitdjoudioufella]

What if you were not the one who did it all wrong?

[latikgwawilliams]

What if you’re always the one reaching out to them and apologizing

[casscat]

This really helps a lot. Thank you... I had lost the three closest friends I have ever had because I was selfish, made them feel disvalued and had deeply hurt them many times... I hadn't realized the damage I had done until I pushed it too far. I really want to win them back and change myself for the good and treat them how they really deserve... Thank you for this video, it was great insight! 🥺💞

[MakaylaNeomi]

I just want my sister back. But I think I need to give her space then we can work on rebuilding our relationship in the future.

[mayac]

Ive been friends with this girl for 10 years and best friends for 3 years and are relationship seemed to be really good. All of a sudden she ditched me and our whole friend group because she wanted new friends. The worse part is she's leaving me for someone she promised she would never leave or replace me with. She got people involved that didn't need to be and made the situation worse. I never wanted to stop being friends but she did. I miss my best friend and want to fix things but I don't know if she is willing to do it. She really hurt me and my friends but she's means so much to me.

[ritarempel]

What if you’re the one that got hurt and the other is avoiding you and doesn’t seem to want to repair or discuss anything?

[Doudougirl]

I recently got dumped by my best friend. Although we were not from the same age group and family status (she has 2 kids while I recently got married) we were very close. She is my colleague and I see her in the office every day. It's very difficult for me to see her giggling with another colleague and I feel angry every time I see them
She never told me why she decided to block me from her social accounts and everytime I would pass by her desk, she would not look or talk to me. I feel awful and don't know what to do. I sometimes feel like returning her the small gifts she has given me and a thank you card for being a great friend and tell her that her friendship was really the best thing I had. However i also want to tell her thank you for dumping me and hurting me. Can I do that?

[CherishedbyGod]

I don't even know how to approach mending my broken friendship. I apologized to everyone involved multiple times for the damage my needy, clingy, depressed, habits caused. I told them I was seeking counseling and I am starting some deep inner healing counseling. Not only was my apology rejected but I was belittled for my choice to seek counseling so I can heal enough to treat my friends better.

This from the same beloved sister in the Lord that just a month before drove through tornado warning weather to meet me at the airport when met in person. The same person who had spoken praises over the blessing my friendship was on that visit. In the blink of an eye she lost all patience with me and responded with hate. I tried mailing her a card for her birthday and it came back refused, return to sender.

At this point all I can do is work on the inner healing I need to be the person God meant for me to be instead of this fractured mess. Giving my buddy space is the hardest thing I have ever done. The loss of my dearest friend and sister, the hate she expressed to me, it's agonizing. It feels like I won't ever have anything to live for again.

Every day is just coping with daily needs. There is nothing that gives me joy. Every memory, all the things that used to make me smile send me sobbing from loss. It feels like I lost not only my best friends but the best parts of who I was. I don't know who I am underneath the pain.

[karenslaughing]

Ouch it hurts how quickly friendships can be canceled these days. Recently I just had two friends cut me off out of the blue. They are already best friends and I was the third. When we talked after two months I was shocked by what they said. It felt like high school. No matter my saying I’m sorry they seemed committed to painting me as the villain. My takeaway is how I really need to be more discerning in who I open up to.. 🙏🏽

[ThePurple]

I realize that people hearts get waxed cold and no matter what people just refuse to forgive you no matter what.

[ando]

What if you called to apologize and that’s when things went from bad to worse and is when they didn’t feel like continuing the friendship?

[LTHI]

Haunted by the age old questions can exes be friends. My ex and I were friends years before we dated. It’s been over a year since the breakup. In a way I don’t care about the rel but I do miss my friend and care about how she’s doing. It was a split on good terms. I wish we could be friends again. I think if you still care about a person after all this time that they must be important.

[xymec]

what if someone is trying to break the the friendship further and you are trying to fix it?

[megacharizardpeashooterult]

I have lost a good friend during quarantine and I felt heartbroken

[mohammedsalloum]

I still have hope to repair friendship with my bff, I can't keep going with out her

[sjordan]

Broken relationships are like broken pots, no matter how much glue is used to fix them, they will never be the same. Better to learn to let go, and more on.

[te]

Your advice helped me so much. Using your advice, my friend responded very well to my apology letter! 💜

[madswozza]

What if apparently you make someone anxious when your around?

[authenticnae]

Unfortunately, the other person isn’t willing to fix it with me but I appreciate the videos