let's talk about friendship breakups as an adult

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Hi there! My name is Carrie Dayton and this channel is all about body confidence, big sis advice, midsize / plus size fashion, thrifting, and MORE! I'm just here to distract you from the chaos of life for a few minutes throughout the week and (hopefully) encourage you to be kind to your body at any size. SUBSCRIBE for new videos every week!

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[bfavaro]

My therapist talks to me a lot about situational friendships. You have friends at work but go separate ways when you leave that job. She reminds me that just because we are situational friends, that doesn’t mean that it wasnt a genuine friendship. It’s hard to go through sometimes, I end up beating myself up regarding the fact I don’t reach out to those people.

[BriObaseki]

Whew, I needed this one! Still trying to recover from what I call friendship PTSD of bad friendship breakups causing me to be afraid to create new ones.

[christinacoburn]

Thank you for talking about this. I just broke off a 20+ year friendship because I finally realized how toxic it was. I considered this person my best friend because it was my longest friendship, but she brought nothing but negativity into my life so I finally said no more. When I was younger, having a lot of friends seemed important, but now as an adult I realize quality not quantity is what’s important. If a “friendship” is disrupting my peace, it’s no longer worth my time.

[caitmcg]

I went through an incredibly painful friend breakup my senior year of college, and one of the worst parts was that our society doesn't have acceptable norms for them. If it had been a romantic breakup people would know not to talk about that person around me, it wouldn't be a surprise that I was sad when their birthday came around, a few weeks of crying and eating ice cream would have seemed normal. Instead it felt like nobody understood why I was taking it so hard. Our society's heirarchy of relationships has romantic relationships at the top and thinks it's weird for friendships to be given equal importance.

[shirleysong]

Over the last couple years, I realized there is nothing more toxic than staying in a friendship that is solely based on longevity. I want to be friends with people that I can respect and admire. When people keep making questionable decisions and bring drama into my life, that's when I'm like nope!

[teaganlivingstone]

I really needed to see this today. I’m currently going through a friendship breakup with two friends who I thought would be my lifelong buddies. It hurts a lot, so it’s nice to see a video like this

[brynnabridges]

Friendship breakups and friendships themselves are just as important and life changing as romantic relationships and I'm really glad that we are finally treating them that way! As I've gotten older I have definitely experienced friendships ending and sometimes they just fade away and other times it's been a legitimate breakup. I've even been ghosted by a close friend before 😅

[FlwrCats]

So relatable! I lost some friends after my mom died and again after my dad died. Not everyone can handle someone else's pain and grief, and death dramatically changed me and my personality. I'm a new person, and honestly they weren't there for me and our lives/friendship didn't fit together in the same way. I love the phrase: People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. <3 <3

[AegyoVirus]

I’ve had many friendship breakups. Actually had one super recent. I’m someone that reaches out all the time. I believe that friendships are also relationships that need to be maintained and put effort into. But not everyone feels that way. And it can feel like they don’t care about you as much as you care about them. You end up feeling used because they will only text you or call you when they want something from you because they know that you’ll always be there for them, even when they are not there for you. At some point, you have to realize that that person is not worth keeping in your life. You’re better without them.

[pandasevr]

As I've gotten older I've had to learn that some friendships end because they ran their course. I have many former friends who I don't talk to anymore but never had a falling out with or anything so we have a mutual respect for one another to this day. I was sick a few years ago and had a former friend reach out and it meant so much to know that they still care for me despite us losing touch over the years. I hope to be that person to others, the person who reaches out and lets people know that I still care even if we aren't close.

[sarahdemarrero]

Yes yes yes to this. I'm currently breaking up with an entire friend group (5+ people) after finding out they protected one of the guys in the friend group who laid hands on a woman. Inexcusable. He's a garbage person and anyone who protects him is too

[ShaytheT]

My biggest heartbreak ever was a best friend breakup. I was getting to the point of walking on eggshells around her and eventually said something really thoughtless that hurt her very badly. I tried to apologize over and over but she wouldn't really accept it. Eventually, we talked again and now we drop each other a line every once and a while but sadly it changed our relationship forever. My advice to anyone trying to reconcile a friendship is to not be afraid to take ownership for the hurt you caused someone. Sincerely apologize and if they don't accept it, you've done everything you can. Gradually that hole will get filled by others but like any other grief or loss, it takes TIME. Hope you're all doing well. Big hugs to anyone that needs one. 💛

[emilykoval]

This past year I graduated college and suddenly felt like I lost every friend from college because I moved away from the college town and started a full time job. It hurts more than any relationship I’ve ever had and makes me second guess everything. I’m still struggling with coping with it, so thank you so so much for this video. I really needed it & find comfort in the comments knowing others feel like same.

[HEROSGIRL]

I haven’t watched yet but I’m grateful you’re talking about this. Friendship break ups hurt. My ex best friend and I stopped talking a while ago and honestly my heart is broken. It’s like a break up in terms of pain with none of the closure or real understanding from people around you.

[el_izabeth_af]

What you said about ADHD + friendship = feeling like you're just never going to be a good friend, as well as adapting to your environment to belong, hit me square between the eyes. I swear I feel like I can breathe more freely after hearing someone else express that it happens to them too. Cheers to going where we are wanted <3

[adzbneweng]

In my 60's and I have 1 best friend. We've been friends since we were 7. On and off in some seasons of life, but we always end up back being really close. One is all I really need.

[sandys]

That comment about a friendship breakup where you feel like you lost a part of yourself when the friendship ended….so true. 💕

[annikachristensen]

Also something that I've learned and carried with me, especially recently, IF THEY WANTED TO, THEY WOULD!! I cant stress this enough. Like Carrie said, go where you are wanted! its the least we deserve😌❤️

[leannainman]

Worst break up of my life was with my high school best friend. I was in so much pain and heartbreak and it felt super lonely because no one around me seemed to give it the same space and love they would have if it had been a romantic break up. But honestly, it hurt more, we had been besties for 10 years. That was over 12 years ago now and I feel healed from it fully but it took patience and time and letting myself grieve. Thanks for this video Carrie. Big hugs to anyone going through this. ♥️♥️♥️

[grass]

Going through a really bad friendship breakup with someone who has been a part of my life for 4 years and to whom I shared and told everything to. It's only been a few days so I'm still very much rooted in grief, but I know he had to leave me for his own good. I respect him and am so thankful for all the memories and experiences we have shared these past years. I will always look back fondly on our time together, but right now I just miss him so so so much. I really thought he would be a friend for life and not just a couple of years. I love him and really wish him nothing but the best. This video has really helped me see that although I am drowning in my grief for our friendship that sometimes these things just happen. But I know I will always love him, and that one day I will meet someone who loves me the same way that I love him. I know eventually, I will be okay, and that he will be too. He will never read this, but Elvin, I love you.