Dear Anxiety || Spoken Word

All poems, vids and novels:

[ClaytonJennings]

I hope this helps someone out there. Love you all.
All poems, vids and novels:

[RushilJivan]

Schools should really start talking about depression and anxiety, not only bullying because sometimes we bring ourselves down, not others.. 😕

[minenhledlamini]

some ppl don't under depression and having anxiety when u try to look for help they say that you are seeking attention but deep down you are drowning, you really need their help not their judgments

[mattfunk]

Man... When he says, "I'm good thank you" and walks out.... That was perfectly depicted with how anxiety is.. Everything he wanted too and needed to say... But instead chose to bottle it all up because he felt he didn't have a choice.. anxiety PERFECTLY explained.

[Jenna-qzht]

“I’m an actor who got really good at being on today” that hit deep

[timothystrik]

I wake up, puddle of sweat.
I have nightmares and I get back into bed.
It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head.
And I can’t keep them to leave me alone, thirty years old but still hates being alone when I’m home.
Because that’s when the voices get the loudest.
Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest.
But these demons keep pressing me, I swear to the foulest.
But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is coulees.
My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace.
I’ve tried to evict them, they returned with more.
Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store.
I was ten the first time I had an panic attack.
Like a punch to the stomach there is no planning for that.
And I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say.
And I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away.
It was my fight to fight and my battle to face.
I remember that house I grew up in an how these demons would rattle that place.
I’d lay awake at night staring at the ceiling.
I’ve spend my whole life trying to run from that feeling.
That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being lost when the lights turn off.
That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious.
The feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this.
Only to get silence in return.
I’d lay In that bed crying and I toss and I turn.
And I turn and I toss till this day.
The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray.
I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away.
So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today.
I’m an actor who got really good at being on today.
But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows.
I’m at the deep end now but I started in the shallows.
And I might just drown myself in these waves.
So burn me in hell, these homes are all graves.
Everyone is coping with something but won’t admit that they all too afraid.
And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say.
If I’m honest with them, maybe they wont think highly of me.
Everything they want me to be is what I’m dying to be.
But everything I really am, is what I’m not trying to be.
I want them to know they not alone In their struggles.
I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles.
And I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley.
I’m in terrified that all along god is telling my sins.
And if he has the number must be astronomic.
My life is a joke and you keep reading just past the comic.
Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth.
I wish I could open up to you and just let loose.
But my vocal cords get thight when the devil pulls on this news.
And then I’m back at keeping everything bottled up inside.
But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time.
He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this.
I can’t get out of bed, I was never meant to act like this.
I’m packing up my backs and he can’t stop me from running fast like this.
I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety.
I’m showing the devil back for every time that he lied to me.
And I’m taking a belt to this demons who whisper to spear my ear.
And I’m ignoring every nay-sayer who stands and stares when I’m near.
I’m moving forward out of this slum.
I took my bruises I took my lumps.
I felt down but I got right back up.
So give me a torch and just light that up.
I’m sending fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline.
Look at you now.
Now you not laughing at me.
Now who’s the one being tortured and plunked.
Now who’s the one closing every door that I want.
Now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground.
Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around.
I’m not done talking to you now.
I’m watching you moves.
I’m on your back and I’m stalking you too.
And when you try to ruin some other kids life I’ll be stopping you too.
You took thirty years of my life, and I can’t get that back.
You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that.
You took me down but I bounced right back.
I was lost then but I got found like that.
Everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me I was.
And everything you hated in me, someone new told me he loved.
And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety.
He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me.
So I’m done listening to you and let you control me.
I’m announcing now that the devil can’t hold me.
I’m walking away from the old me, and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me.
You knew I would find a way out sooner or later.
And I found my escape in the form of a savior.

[bruceschildt]

I've turned back to God because of this video . Today is my first day giving up alcohol. I'm depending on Him to get me through this. Thanks man for this video, you're truly helping people ❤

[johncarlsen]

As a retired US Army soldier of 21 years. I turned all of my anxiety, concerns and inner demons over to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior in your heart and soul and the Holy Spirit will live inside you, he will be your counselor, guide and comforter. Praise God and Hallelujah

[richardkicklighter]

The loneliest people are the KINDNESSES
The saddest people are the BRIGHTEST
Alll because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did

[cherryberrylicious]

The happiest of people are usually the saddest.

[bourneleader]

“But everything I really am is what I didn’t want to be”
Took the air from me….

[Brayden____ogier]

It’s crazy how much I come back to this 😢 this is so relatable

[justinknitter]

Dear Anxiety/Spoken Word

I wake up, puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed. It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can’t get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I’m home. Because that’s when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me, I swear their the foulest. But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them, they return with more. Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach, there’s no planning for that. and I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say and I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away. It was my fight to fight, and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place. I’d lay in my bed awake at night just starring at the ceiling. I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling; that feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off, that feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious, that feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this, only to get silence in return.
I lay in that bed crying and I’d toss and I’d turn, and I turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray. I’ve tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today, I’m an actor who got really good at being on today, but when I turn off I go right back into the shadows. I’m in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows. And I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves, everyone’s coping with something but won’t admit it their all too afraid, and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I’m honest maybe they wont think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I’m dying to be. But everything I really am is what I’m not trying to be.
I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. and I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley I’m in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has, the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic, Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I’m back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time. He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can’t get outta bed, I was never made to act like this. I’m packing up my bags and he can’t stop me from running fast like this. I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety. I’m shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me, and taking a belt to these demons who whispered despair in my ear, and I’m ignoring everyone neigh sayer who stands and stares when I’m near. I’m moving forward out of this slump; I took my bruises, I took my lumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up. I’m setting fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline.
Look at you, now you’re not laughing at me, now who’s the one who’s being tortured and punked. Now who’s the one closing every door that I want, now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground. Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around! I’m not done talking to you! Now I’m watching your moves, I’m on your back and I’m stalking you to, and when you try to ruin some other kids life, I’ll be stopping you too. You took 30 years of my life, and I can’t get that back, you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that! You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me i was and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves. And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety, he reached in and placed hope deep inside of me. So I’m done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil can’t hold me, I’m walking away from the old me and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me. You knew I’d find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior.
~Clayton Jennings

[soultaker]

The ending really hits cuz thats what everyone says when their asked "are u ok" "yeah I'm fine"

[joshuapankhurst]

I'm 29 and I stutter. I can out work, out smart anyone in my career. Every time I hear this, I break down crying 20-30 seconds in. Religions not my cup of tea, but the message hits hard.

[MrShadow-qzxj]

The message in this is the ending, so many times people that deal with anxiety have so much they want/need to say. In private we feel strong, and talk our selves up. Then when we come face to face with it, we just can not bring ourselves to say it. Anxiety took 40 years of my life away. I am more free now then i ever have been. That said it is still a choice i have to keep making. Those voices are still there still putting me down, but i keep reminding myself of how good it feels.

[iriakerwin]

It’s scary how a smile and a “just tired” can get people to think your fine...

I’m not I don’t think I ever will be fine but as far as you know and care I am, as long as I’m doing fine I’m school and am not bothering anyone, I’m okay, no matter how much I’m struggling..




To those reading in the comments I know why your here you feel like your giving up, your scared and have no one to go to but someday things may get better we will find someone to help us, maybe one day we’ll actually be fine...

Edit: I never even knew about the reply’s and likes, for one I’m so sorry to everyone who can relate to what I was and still do feel from time to time. I wish I could take that away. But I’m here to tell you it does get easier, as cliche as it sounds, I know it does, it does, maybe not entirely, I’m still waiting for that but those moments when we wish we could smile and genuinely mean it, they do come, and I won’t lie saying that there won’t be bad days, because unfortunately there always will be. I’m simply here to say, just wait, there’s so many things to look forward to, that one song that you’ll cherish forever. The movie you’ll have on repeat. The memories of watching sunsets. The YouTube videos you’ll never get to see. The books you’ll never get to read. The people you’ll never get to meet.

You will meet people who will accept you for everything you are, and when you do, it will be magical you just need to be there to see it. We both do, so please hold on, let’s take a trip, till the shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time, we’ve already made it to the moon. It was hard I know, but how about we go to Pluto it must be so lonely out there, we’ll make it together. How does that sound. Please hold one, so we can both have those good days, where we can really smile.

[quynciefaulkner]

mom- whats the matter
me- *smiles* nothing
 *thinking* don't cry, don't cry

[nickymartini]

This was totally my journey exactly except I was 34 when diagnosed with severe panic disorder. Took 3 years of facing my fears, learning to shut off the cacophony and learning to hear God’s spoken words directly to me. He speaks a better word. Perfect Love cast out my fears. I’m 52 now and 15 years anxiety feee. ❤ love your music so encouraging

[h.g]

Anyone just forget about this video for so long, then remember how good it is and come back when feeling stressed and anxious, such a great spoken word!