Be Careful Neglecting a Giver…

[hexhex]

when a giver steps back, they're suddenly called " selfish"..by all the takers

[ScrewballSyndicate]

This honestly applies to friendships and family relationships too.

[dogparents]

When they're done with you, they are absolutely done. Period.

[francescabellan]

OMG, so true. Once that door is closed, it's over. And at that point you start to see things so clearly that you wonder how you could tolerate emotional neglect for such a long time

[ENCLAVEDivisionX]

This describes my wife perfectly. She does anything i want to the point where its unhealthy for her. So to help her i made her my main priority. If she asks if i want anything i say i want her to go relax. She deserves it. Shes a wonderful wife and a great mother. She always tries to please everyone.

[carinelaberge]

I can confirm. It's a painful thing to give kindness and receive no respect

[Wiseolegranny]

A people pleaser shows someone how they want to be treated by example instead of words and demands.

[TinaJohnson]

Sadly, it’s usually people that have come from childhood trauma that are the “overgivers”. I am one of them. I am finally learning at age 65, to think of myself first, and to set boundaries.

[eiannmascoll]

Well said
Givers be careful, know your limits, because takers have no limits.

[patriciamorganti]

Nothing has ever resonated with me more in my entire life.

[Qasde]

And you'll never ever EVER get that trust and level of care back. Once it's gone, it's gone.

[maureenseel]

The worst part is having to stop giving to someone that you love dearly. You feel selfish even though you know you've spent years trying to do everything for this person.

[BestPunkyEver]

This is absolutely correct. When a “people pleaser’s” tank becomes empty, there is no more energy or “fuel” left for that relationship.

[methodicalclothing]

This is 100% true and there will be no signs that it's about to be over... no arguments no discussions no signs. nothing. They gone.

[mariasoniamoreno]

This is why live alone. I can't help myself pleasing and caring for a partner, but I've never received half of what I gave them. Now, I just buy myself flowers.

[purelyimagine]

This makes me feel so much better about dropping people when I get tired of being mistreated. Thank you for explaining it like this. I hope that by treating people the way I want to be treated others will reciprocate, but it doesn’t always work.

[roxanahernandez]

“They will take your breadcrumbs and see it as a whole loaf” OH MY GOSH!! That’s exactly how I am. I’m so used to never being genuinely seen, the moment a person is kind to me I feel amazed.

[antheredhen]

This is me.. Narcs are drawn to people pleasers because it takes a loooonnnggg time for us to stop tolerating the crap..

[jk]

I am about to marry a giver. I listen to you daily to try and keep me honest about how I treat her. She is the greatest gift that I've been graced with.

[Lea-is-sleeping]

I was with someone for a while, who was very needy. This kind of excited the people pleaser in me because I thought this meant I could prove what an amazing lover I was. We also came from similar abusive backgrounds, and I felt like they were someone who would finally understand me.

There was this one time we were talking, and they said to me: "not everything is about you or your feelings." They had been venting, and after they finished, I had sympathized and related a similar experience I had been through and that I knew things would get better for them. I rarely talked about myself and I remember after they said that, I felt like something inside me broke. I walked away from them, feeling hurt and betrayed. I had given so much and asked for so little. I cried for 2 days and even called called out of work. My heart *ached*. I knew it was over and indicated to them I was done. We still remained friends, but I wouldn't even consider being with them anymore and gave them only little bits of my time. A month later, they expressed to me that they could not understand why I broke up with them. I replied something about being hurt by something they had said, and they further dismissed that something like that could have hurt me. I was actually unbothered by that because I no longer trusted them with my emotions or my heart.

We're still friends to this day, and they have expressed many times since wishing we could get back together and I always kindly say no. My relationship with them made me understand myself so much better; and I try to no longer jump into relationships with both feet, but instead give little by little and see how the other person reacts. I find that difficult sometimes, but I feel much more secure, and my heart feels much more guarded and safe.

So, thank you for this video, it has helped me understand myself even better! :)