Depression Vs. Autistic Burnout - What's The Difference?

more thoughts and opinions sorry lmao

[ericm]

6:03 - "... during the periods when I'm getting shit done, it's not like, 'I'm fucking 'Thriving', ya know? ..."
RIGHT!!

[jamesfennell]

It is so easy to get the two confused, going to uni was a four year cycle of burnout and recovery that I thought was depression. I tried meds, they just made me feel flat and I hated it, since being diagnosed as autistic I understand what happened better.

[MrKevindj]

Thank you so much for sharing, I had the same cycles, till about 38 them got a migraine that never went away, going for an autism screening at 46. I'm horrified at how uneducated the mental health world sadly is. Your awesome, keep sharing your experience.

[emmam]

I relate so hard, it's really annoying. I find the only way it doesn't happen is if I just stick to myself and isolate from people, but I don't want to do that forever either. And when I do that I get kind of manic because I haven't had to use up enough energy dealing with people. So it's impossible to manage basically

[AutisticallyStew]

I had this exact conversation with my line manager yesterday.
Since I found out about autism and being referred for a formal diagnosis I’ve realised I’m not that depressed. It’s generally just burnout

[arnarnia]

I relate to this so much. It feels really frustrating to feel like you can't do anything at all without getting burnt out, so I definitely feel that same feeling of "I don't know what to do about this." I think I had both depression and autistic burnout, because taking an antidepressant raised me up a little bit, so I wasn't totally in despair any more. Now I don't feel that depressed hopelessness so much, but I still go through cycles of feeling low and especially exhausted and fatigued and just everything feels hard. Even after graduating from college and having a lot fewer demands in my life, I still feel like I'm in a constant cycle of burnout.

I hope that by gradually finding an environment and routine that works for me, I can smooth out that cycle a little more. Especially unmasking, because I think that's one of the main things that is so exhausting about being autistic and contributes a lot to burnout. But it's really hard to unmask, so that will take time. Also I think it's okay to accept that life will have cycles, kind of an undulation, and both the ups and the downs are okay. It helps me to remember that the low periods won't last, and I will enjoy things again - nothing is permanent.

[ildyivy]

Yes and it gets worse with age. I used to think it was depression too and I was on tons of psych meds at one time but it didn’t help. It’s been impossible to have consistency in my life because of this problem. Forget stable job, and there’s an ever threat of homelessness because I can’t function like other people.

[elysiadawn]

All my life. And I never figured it out either unfortunately. Other than making peace with it, I have no idea how to never have those burnouts sometimes.

[kalasimsy]

I relate to this. When I was "depressed " I wasn't really sad, I was just exhausted from being anxious and stressed and pretending all the time and then I just coudn't get out of bed and THAT made me sad. It used to be a cycle of - I would function kind of normal for 3 to 4 days and then I would collapse and just do the bare minimum, without washing any dhishes, missing classes etc for next 3 days and then it would start again. After getting diagnosis, therapy and SNRI i am better, I feel like the meds give me a bit more energy also I am better at managing my time. Now I try to organise my days in halves, so half of the day is doing something "productive" and other half is rest, for example, when I go to the lab where I intern i don't plan to do anything energy consuming for the rest of the day, except maybe cooking a meal, but I always try to cook more food, so it lasts me at least two days. It is frustrating that the things I have to do (uni and intern, so I can have a job and money in the future) take up so much of my time and energy, that I don't have a lot of that left for my passion projects and they progress very slowly :( but well, thats life.

[PalmersPhotos]

Having lived most of my adult life simply being treated for depression, I can definitely relate to this one. And, honestly, the fact that no-one considered that I might have had autism, or should consider being assessed for autism, really pisses me off. I've had more doctors, therapists, and therapy institutions than I can count on both hands. My first day on anti-depressants put me in hospital (even if, according to the triage nurse, "it's just a panic attack - you can go home"), and it took me months to begin to adjust to the really horrible side-effects (that no-one else really thought were that horrible). I was even prescribed some really addictive meds just to help me cope with said side-effects, and those came with their own really bad side-effects. I've also been in therapy for anxiety and PTSD, and all of those therapies seemed to be focused on "fixing what went wrong", rather than actually addressing the fact that I had been this way for as long as I could remember and that there is nothing to "fix". None of the therapies or explanations really seemed to fit, and that didn't seem to bother anyone I was relying on (and sometimes paying) for help.

My mother even brought up the thought that I might have autism with my (now former) GP, and she just gaslit us both by saying "no, you're much too empathetic to have autism."

It's only recently that I'd considered depression might be a side-effect of another condition rather than the diagnosis, and while I definitely was depressed, none of the options presented to me or considered for me were effective or even suitable.

[benicio]

You have laid out everything I have experienced or have thought about recently. I was actually thinking about my personality just a few days ago and I suddenly felt so hopeless and really down because I started to ponder the notion that even if I had my life just the way I wanted it I still don’t think I’d be happy. I think worry and stress would still be a part of my daily life because of how my brain is wired. I really don’t want to work any more. I’m so tired of having to engage with coworkers and their family members. It’s nothing personal toward them it’s just I find having to go outward so exhausting. I have become extremely introverted and prefer to spend most of my time alone because I just don’t have the energy to spare. I don’t have the drive that it takes to socialize or maintain friendships any more. I can understand what you’re saying perfectly. I’ll have a very full week and my performance will be very high and I will get so much done and then I crash and burn. I feel absolutely exhausted and depressed because I just don’t have the drive and the ability to maintain that focus every day so I can get things accomplished in my daily life. I know I have never have any manic episodes because it takes everything I have just to get up and function and fulfill daily obligations.

[ummmmmmmmmmmnmmmm]

I have adhd (and maybe I'm autistic because I relate to this so much) and I definitely have cycles of burnout that I thought was depression. The only times I've ever been happy and have had a balance was in transition year of secondary school where we're not pressured to do academic stuff and instead encouraged to focus on our own interests and the other year was when I was repeating a year of college and had the time to just focus on my own passion projects guilt free.

I definitely should start therapy to figure this out but I think at the end of the day, I'm not built to be capable of keeping up with neurotypical people. If I did have to do a 9 to 5 I would want to k*ll myself or at least that's what my inner monologue tells me. And at this stage I don't think it's an intrusive thought, I think it's genuinely my brain letting me know that this isn't sustainable and I need to change something or else I'm destined for burnout.

But yeah, a big focus for me right now is just trying to make my life easier for myself rather then worrying about adult responsibilities. If I just focused on getting through college and stuff, I would be building a house of cards that's destined to topple. I need a good foundation and that means figuring out how to make showering, skincare, exercising and feeding myself as easy as possible. For example before, I never actually properly learned how to shave so I would just let my beard grow but then when I did shave, I would do it poorly and it would cause razor burn. So now I'm taking the time to figure out how to use the right tools and exfoliate properly to prevent causing damage to my skin. I feel like if this was something I put off until I finished college then I would just be making my life miserable for the next few years when it's something that could easily be fixed if I just took the time to address it now but if I do take that time then I won't have to to focus on college but neurotypical people can somehow do both and I just can't and it's frustrating that they can't understand that.

[mazky]

I find that keeping focus as limited as possible helps a lot, though there's still all the things I "should" do that eats energy even just occupying space in my thoughts. It's easy to feel weak with that, but at the same time I can be completely calm in situations that are very stressful for others. So many things I don't really understand yet. Thank you for making videos.

[LibraryofKym]

You speak so much sense. I’ve spent years trying to figure out why I could also be like this.

[diana]

Yeah I have given my lifestyle an overhaul. Both in my habits and my outlook. It’s like because I know what’s happening I can actually surf the wave rather than not knowing what to do and being pulled under. I’m still very new to it, but I can say confidently that I have instituted helpful accommodations in my life.

[selfmadesarajade]

Cyclical burnout is legit the story of my life.... Also starting in middle school. Diagnosed ADHD (still struggle with that) and misdiagnosed bipolar by some other condescending shrink. 13 yo me, refusing to take the meds and learning to distrust the system because I KNEW I was not bipolar.

The system is just so broken and I think that facing that fact every single day ON TOP of regular daily life stress, no wonder so many are suffering. Love your videos. Thank you!!

[cff]

OOOOh! Absolutely agree! I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and take meds for quite a while (with my psychiatrist we tried different ones), but I still get these cycles. And it is not just mood swings, they really look more like periodic burnouts. I learned about autism in adults only two weeks a go, took many test (AQ, SQ, EQ, RAADS-R, TAS-20-R, CAT-Q) and scored pretty high as a "highly functional/high masking autistic" person. The more I explore the topic, the more I'm getting sure I'm actually autistic, not bipolar.
Thinking visiting my doctor and stop taking the meds.
As for dealing with burnouts: first of all I try to accept myself as is, unconditionally. Then comfort myself, and take a rest, knowing that I will be productive when I restore. And learning about my triggers. Apparently, social interactions (even texting) take a lot of energy.
And I believe that we, on the spectrum, are not broken, just different.

[shmeleu]

In severe cases - when you start sleeping for 12-16 hours a day, taking citrulline malate can help - ADL are still hard, but it feels better as a whole. Felt the difference after one week. What cycle? Between crap and holy crap? ... have had for 2 years in a row and still going. It gets better with very small increments, or maybe I just got used to it.

I don't know what else to advise in order to get out of burnout faster. But I noticed that it is very important to try to stop blaming yourself for such a condition as soon as possible - it only makes it worse, much worse.

[NightNekomata]

This sounds what I've been going through. When I get home from school, I just wanna sleep. Sometimes I can't even finish my dinner, i just fall asleep on the couch.
Along with the autism, I think I do actually have depression tho. Never been on any meds or anything like that, but some days it's just hard to find a reason to keep living. Hope this didn't bum u out too much :P

[tiadozeman]

I’ve had similar experiences!! I’ve been professionally diagnosed with ADHD at 37 and self diagnosed / free assessments at 38. I’ve been diagnosed with recurring depression starting at 16, and have tried just about every antidepressant. I’m just now on this path of realizing I have likely been going through cycles of burnout (sometimes it does turn into deep clinical depression). I’d also like to find a way to have balance in my life. I’m considering successful in the traditional sense… but as I age and my hormones change, symptoms seem to be getting worse and the burnout cycles lasting longer 😢.