ADULT AUTISM SHUTDOWN ⚠️⛔️ Here's What It Looks Like As It's Happening ✋🙈

This week I hit a big wall after going too hard for too long without rest and not listening to my sensory cues of overwhelm (noises becoming too loud, conversations adding extra anxiety, not wanting to be touched...). I decided to shoot a couple of minutes while I was approaching my "no talking" mode... I find shutdowns really interesting and I'm learning how to pick up on cues to try and prevent them before they result in total withdrawal.

If you have any tips for avoiding meltdowns/shutdowns, I'd love to hear about them in the comments! Also, if you'd click the red "SUBSCRIBE" button, that really helps me out. It's the best way to support me as I continue creating free content for you. Always open to suggestions for future topics!

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MORE ABOUT SHUTDOWNS:
From Embrace ASD:
(Text below is an excerpt from the above article)

Things that trigger a meltdown or shutdown can be external, like:

Too many demands placed on the autistic person.
Unexpected changes in plans or routines.
Sensory overload.
Social overload — Being exposed to too much social interaction (particularly relevant to shutdown).
But the overload can also stem from—or be exacerbated by—internal triggers:

Feeling shame or guilt.
Feeling inadequate.
Feeling like an injustice has been done to us.

The straw that breaks our back (final trigger) may not seem to make sense. It may seem small to an outsider, but to us, it is that one drop in the bucket that makes it completely overflow.
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I'm Tay, a married mom of 2 who was diagnosed with Autism at 31 years old. This was after YEARS of therapy (and all of the self tests in the world!). My diagnosis has brought up questions, frustration, doubt, but most importantly, a new level of self compassion and understanding.

I'm here to share knowledge, resources, and products that empower other neurodivergents (and their loved ones) to live freely and creatively. I'm not a doctor so please speak with your healthcare providers before implementing any recommendations I make on my channel.

It's good for my brain to spend less time on social media, so you won't find me on Facebook or Instagram. But I'd love to chat with you in the comments! Or you can find my email address in the "Details" section of my About page.

Females are under-diagnosed due to lack of research. Please share any videos that are helpful to you so we can spread awareness and acceptance.

Music by Milky Wayvers ("Mountain")

#autism #actuallyautistic #aspergers

[silverdoe]

I’ve only gotten my diagnosis at 30. One meltdown was really bad at a train station. A teenage girl walked up to me & gave me an orange & a hug. “I don’t know why you’re sad, but I’m sure it’ll get better.” She’s my real Luna Lovegood.

[ChihuahuaDogLife]

This is shocking to me. I'm turning 60 & never have been diagnosed. This pattern describes me. I am in full shutdown. Full stop. My brain hurts to try & use it & I'm lashing out at anyone trying to mess with me. I have intense anxiety over masking my needs & at 60 I have no energy for any words. So interesting the algorithm sent me this today as I am praying to make it to my first appointment with a psychiatrist on Friday. My creativity for my channel has crashed, I can't fathom the grocery store, I'm floundering in life this week & it's crushing. I'm not alone. Thanks for filming this. Hugs 🤗

[jahbrianawilliams]

I’ve had shutdowns without even knowing that they were meltdowns/shutdowns and the pattern of getting to that point was always the same. I’ve always had jobs that deal heavily in customer service so I would always get to a point of complete chaos inside myself without even knowing what was really causing it. It would cause me to be suicidal and self harm because existing was just so painful. Everything would be too bright, too loud, and people expected way more than I could give in those moments. I felt like dying was my only way of getting peace. Discovering Autism and learning that this fits me like a puzzle piece has helped me figure out what was happening to me and why, so next time I could deal better.

[jonnie]

I just shared this video with my Mom because she always asks me “what’s wrong? Are you ok? Are you mad at me”, and I can never verbalize my feelings, but this video put it into words for me. Thanks for sharing, your channel is very helpful to me ☺️

[insolentnik]

This is exactly how I feel. I thought it was depression and I’ve never been able to find the words to explain. Thank you

[petekdemircioglu]

Taking a shower becomes a big triumph to me too at these times. Thank you for sharing your experience. I was Feeling literally like s*** and blaming myself. Now I dont.

[heidimoos]

My adult kid got a diagnosis late in high school. They tell me about their experience as an autistic person, but they don’t have the words for it all the time. This channel has helped me understand what I see better.

[springnicole]

I’m so glad you shared this because I have gone through this so many times. It is like a short circuiting. There is just no electricity coming in and I feel dead inside. When I have told doctors about this they assumed it was depression. But, it can happen even after I experience a lot of wonderful things.
You pinpointed it exactly. It is doing too much without refueling. My husband calls it “going past stop signs”

[scrapshappen]

My shutdown is default to what my spouse sees as anger, the price of decades of people pleasing and putting on a happy face. And yup, there is anger there but I'm working with my therapist to identify what I'm feeling because I have been numb for more years than I can count. Thanks for your work..it's helping not only me but my 25 year old child as we navigate this scary new world.

[DisgruntledAsh]

Music has helped me out of many breakdowns.

Sometimes it's a song that counteracts the mood I'm in. Acts as a counterweight to keep me balanced enough to finish what I have to do.

Other times it's a song that amplifies the feelings I'm having trouble with. I use them to push through the wall of holding-it-in and to feel the feelings, recognize the emotions for what they are, to let them out, and get past it.

But most often, music is a familiar sound that brings me comfort when my mind starts to feel like some unfamiliar wasteland.

[amberr]

I wanted to share some of the things I do to help myself when I feel this way. Sometimes I will take multiple hot baths in a day. I will use lavender oils and Epsom salts if I have them. Something about a water after people, noise, crowd overload is just very soothing. Watering parts of my lawn by hand feels very soothing to me. I know it's weird but it is good for me. My husband will take the kids out to his parents house and keep them there for a full day so I can just be in the quiet. Last year when I was feeling extremely bad, I went for a massage. Something about that deep deep pressure helps me to feel more connected to my body, and I came home able to think clearly and actually do what I needed to do and deal with things more effectively. Also, weighted blankets and dog snuggles =)

[jerrimenard]

I get this. When it happens sometimes I won't talk to even my housemate for days. I won't answer my phone or get back to people. They must think I hate them but I don't. Truth is, I am just spent.

[MelModica]

I am an INFJ, I haven’t gotten a complete official diagnoses but one of my friends is a counselor and on the autistic spectrum and we’ve know each other a few years and he says he thinks I am on the spectrum. I am a highly sensitive person and I have a hard time keeping boundaries so I am always pushing myself in every way and always trying to be there for others but I have a had burn outs where I need very long periods of time to myself. Too much noise and people and bright lights bothers me, even heavy traffic in the day bothers me. I work night shift so I can be alone in peace and quiet. I’m really trying to find a balance and set boundaries for myself. I have gotten much better at saying no and standing up for myself.

[ItBeJae]

Your videos have helped me so much with my wife who just was diagnosed last week at 31 years old with Autism, ADHD, and Social Anxiety. We've been together for 15 years and it's been hard for her not knowing how to explain these shutdowns or being able to explain why she does certain things. Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us and sharing your journey. You really are helping A LOT of people ❤😊

[Jc]

It had happened to me today. The first since diagnosis 6 weeks ago. I’ve had them forever but only now understand what it is. It feels like I’m moving in slow motion, my brain and body moving through mud. No words, no facial expressions, no phone calls, no people.

[TRXST.ISSUES]

🙏 being in this state is so hard - everything just becomes magnified in difficulty.

[BryanKoenig]

I'm 34 yrs old a father of 3 and I can relate to so much of this video. I was diagnosed 3 months ago with autism spectrum disorder and tourette's and thank you so much for your helpful videos

[wiandewaal]

Totally similar for me and I'm 56 this year. My neighbors get really annoyed when I'm in my hyper output spell. Your own system eventually wears out from the activity intensity. I literally just stay in bed when the shut down comes and sleep it off to recharge my energy levels again. In shut down time I'm super self nurturing. I eat really healthy. I meditate. I sometimes will do something time consuming that's simple meticulous kinda work(arty/crafty/repairing). Most important is to manage your mind and thoughts then. Focus on the grateful stuff. Be with your breath. Put no pressure on yourself. Appreciate yourself, don't do defeated thinking; it will make it so much worse to make it wrong for who you are. This is part of being unique. Let others understand it and adjust to it. Trying to fit a social mould will not support self acceptance within you . Being aware of it and flowing with it will help you manage it better to create balance again into the flow of it. Never tell yourself it will all one day be "healed and gone". Abort that expectation and accept the natural flow of your own rhythm. 😊 Thanks for sharing 💗

[MrMcCoyD]

The biggest difference for me has been to try less desperately to "get out" of the shutdown. It is a period of rest. You don't desperately try to sleep less to "catch up" when you haven't been sleeping enough. You cancel plans or take a nap. So, I prepare things in my life and environment to allow for the ebb and flow of spoons/energy/motivation. I keep lots of frozen dinners, disposable plates & silverware, wear dirty clothes, don't beat myself up for skipping brushing my teeth, and realize that my room getting messy during this time doesn't reflect my "flawed character". Care tasks are morally neutral -- a dirty dish isn't evil. It's just not available right now! Then as my energy returns I gently start cleaning things up.
Now, I don't have kids, so obviously things are a bit different. But if you have family nearby, maybe they could take the kids sometimes? Maybe you can afford a part-time nanny? Maybe you can communicate with your kids that some days are harder for you, but spend more time with them when you're feeling stronger?
Good luck, and thanks for sharing. This video does put some new words to my experience as well :)

[sarahjensen]

This shows why diagnosis and support are so important. Thank you for being so open about your experience!