Wounded Inner Children Only See Potential - Not Abuse 😳

In this video we cover: Shame, Trauma, potential, mental boundaries, path, attachment, highly sensitive person, triggers, survival strategy, therapy, childhood trauma, toxic family systems, boundaries, inner child, , c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hsp, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, alcoholism, scapegoat, genogram, siblings, dissociation, trauma

[Eighties-Jadie]

I've had to learn to "stop feeling and start thinking." To stop feeling unnecessarily bad or guilty for walking away and setting healthy boundaries against abusive people masqueraded as family and friends that never change after decades. To start thinking about how the abuse and neglect changed my life in so many adverse ways and suffering health issues as a result to this day, the CPTSD being the worst. No longer do I view my abusers through rose tinted lens of "Maybe deep down they're a good person with some shred of hope or for them to change for the better." No longer will I be fooled or love bombed back either. Thanks again Patrick ❤️

[theruminator]

Gosh! 58 seconds. Is Patrick trying to break some kind of record for the most information in the least amount of time? Terrific stuff...

[meenda]

Yes! Spot on! I realized a few years ago time and time again I'd stayed with romantic partners because I saw the POTENTIAL, and disregarded the REALITY of the situation.

[rinakellogg]

This is so true. When people show you who they are believe them.

[js]

Wow - so powerful and true. I spent 50 years trying to win my Dad's love and nearly 30 years in an abusive marriage (free now). The mantra running in my head has always been 'Dad/husband will one day recognise I am an okay person and love me.' It doesn't help when friends and family tell you to persevere because that's just how men are. Thanks Patrick for your channel. You get it!

[Mardevscience]

As a victim of sibling abuse from the age of 4, I couldn’t give up on this idea that my brother would stop beating on me & gaslighting me and see that all I wanted was his love. That child still lives in me and I’m trying to parent her. Thank you for this.

[cats_shall_rise]

The timing of this is incredible. I just had someone end a relationship with me. Today I realized in order for me to be happy with this person they have to both return and not treat me awful the majority of the time. I have held on to his potential for far too long, often blaming his bad behaviour on myself. Thank you for this.

[aprilpinketon]

Yes! With my mother! I am 36, and I still live through the hope of change. But, it's painfully clear it won't. I now have had to make the hard decision to distance myself, and my daughters from my mom. It's hard, bc I never had a grandmother, so it's all I've ever wanted for my girls. But, I am the only one that has facilitated the relationship my girls have with my Mom. I feel so guilty that I've taught them to love someone whose life wouldn't be affected if something happened to them. I don't know how I will erase the issues I may have caused by forcing a relationship that she never nurtured or cared to nurture.

[alau]

Magical and wishful thinking. I keep hoping that my son and his wife/daughter would be the loving family that I've always wanted. They are not. I have given my energy and well-being every time I've visited to babysit my granddaughter. I'm always stressed when I'm there and so relieved when I go. Then I tell myself it's my DUTY as a grandmother to keep this up. I don't feel welcomed...only used. I feel guilty when I don't come when I'm summoned but I'm so much happier when I don't visit them. I feel sorry for my granddaughter who is spoiled, unruly and has no attention span whatsoever. I'm 66 years old and just don't want this to be my life...but I'm so sad that it's never going to be the way I wish it would be.

[elineeugenie]

27 years after she passed away, i still highlight the potential for my mother and me, awkwardly, and at the same time i am free to call her a narcissistic, monomaniac sociopath.... It's all true. She terrified me to my bootsoles and back, she henged me in with no escape. She was in pain all of the time.
It took nearly forever but i can have compassion for us both now. Bonus, she's not around any longer to mess with my brain.

[joykraft]

I did that with my parents...never again. No one is worth taking one second of abuse. I'll drop you in a heartbeat. I'm alone but it's on my terms.

[tohrurose]

So much THIS! We struggled for a long time with this and stayed with abusive toxic partners because of the potential and the hope that things would work out/ get better. It got better once we left

[tnijoo]

Thank you for explaining in a few seconds my relationships for the past couple decades. These videos are so good. Jaw drop yet again.

[Shirden]

This is exactly what I’ve experienced throughout my life! I stopped having relationships 11 years ago because of this

[jennytaylor]

This is bang-on, Patrick. It's a very powerful unconscious programme, set up in childhood, that for me has run past romantic relationships. I was involved with a angry, belligerent drunk, 10 years my senior, for 4 long years in my early 20s. He seemed to actively enjoy creating maximum turmoil and reducing me to tears. I continued to patch it up, despite overwhelming evidence that it was actually over for me. It's scary when I look back, to realise not only what I tolerated, but also how the other person KNEW INSTICTIVELY that I would take it, and take it, and take it. Along with the relief I felt when I finally ended it (to his disbelief!) came a natural chemical high that lasted months. I thought I couldn't live without him. It took me week to get over him, as I'd done my grieving while it was still going on.

[tea-chip-cookies]

My mother use to keep me in the cycle of toxic relationships with horrible family members no matter how bad things got, since I was a child to even now.
She would always wait for the potential of them suddenly being nice to me one day.
I'm 34 and I still have to walk out of the house before they come over.

[---tckm]

Omg this reminded me of an abusive relationship I had some years ago, in the end I remember reading somewhere “I realized I was in love with the man he could have been but not the man he actually was” - and that’s when it hit me and left.
Also, I am so happy you explained the why - very interesting!!

[mamastired]

Holy cow!! How have you called me out twice today. I always thought i could make it work... only about 13.5 years into 14 years of an abusive marriage i realised it was incredibly abusive...
Thank you for these shorts... you are opening my eyes!!

[writeidea]

This is so helpful. Thanks for sharing this perspective. I want to add that another element is that both my parents would always side with a toxic partner or even a complete stranger so there was zero validation of situations that were harmful.

[privatejen]

Thank you for that tremendous clarity. I am very glad this showed up in my feed. It makes sense to me now how my inner child was trained to to do more and be more for others (believing by pleasing them, they will treat me better), and ultimately abandon my soul and not recognize how these connections were/are abusive.