Stop Being Socially Awkward: 10 Behaviors That Make You Look Weird

This video describes 10 specific behaviors that can make you seem weird or socially awkward. It explains what behaviors are normal in social interaction and what you have to do to be seen as socially skillful.

Here's a video I made responding to the most common comments:

[yousifkhalil]

11 behaviors that make you look weird:
1- too much or too little eye contact 3:31
2- too much or too little interpersonal space 5:00
3- poor general hygiene 6:26
4- lack of verbal/sensitive subjects filter 7:47
5- he skipped to 6 for some
6- not cooperating in face-work (do strange things to embarrass others) 9:01
7- too much or too little self-disclosure 10:15
8- lack of sense of relevance 12:37
9- not knowing how to gracefully enter/leave an interaction 13:49
10- not using backchannel Ques (to let people know you're listening) 15:07
11- lack of empathy 16:02

[gilgamesh.....]

Here's how I stopped being socially awkward. I stopped being social. It worked like a charm.

[WokeUpGrateful]

this video made me realize i am not socially awkward i just have social anxiety

[Gumbocinno]

The thing is, if you're super awkward and try to change that, you might end up doing a big cringe. That cringe moment will be stored among the pile of cringe memories you already have, and it'll come back to haunt you while you're in the shower or trying to sleep.

[powerpointpaladin]

how tragic that the more genuinely open and friendly you are, the harder it is to seem "normal", while the more machiavellian or sociopathic you are, the easier it is to manipulate conversation to seem "normal".

[jadetaylor]

I actually really like it when people open up to me a bit too quick. Makes me feel like I can be human and that I'm not alone in my struggles.

[cranbers]

My 18 year old son is a socially awkward extrovert, he craves being around people and wants close friends and girl friends so badly and is so lonely. Goes to parties and feels like an outsider but is mad when he's not invited. So frustrating as a father. Meets girls and they lose interest very quickly. Wants people to be there for him and thinks no one cares. Crazy how socialization can be such a mystery to people and to others its second nature.

[ns]

Social anxiety ruined my youth and prevented me from learning how to interact with people. I have gotten much better through a ton of effort but anxiety really does make life miserable and you end up missing out on so many experiences most other people had when they were young. Having good parents and a stable loving upbringing are major factors in developing into a healthy and happy person. Unfortunately I wasn't that lucky and I suspect many who are socially awkward weren't as well.

[AristophanesNow]

All great points. But there is a very important qualifier: the more attractive you are the less any of this matters, the less attractive you are the more all of this matters.

[pokedude]

eye contact is one I've always struggled with. I feel immensely uncomfortable when looking into someones eyes, it feels like I'm staring into their soul and seeing something I'm not supposed to

[victoryfaction]

One thing I've learned as the "good listener" person is that, unfortunately, others won't let you break out of that role. People who love dumping and divulging gravitate towards us, putting us in a position where we're can't reciprocate (i.e., they talk over us or let us get a word in) or they don't provide meaningful engagement with what *we're* saying. They go back to what they were saying, they just give surface-level nods or "ahas" to show they're listening, or they engage the topic in a way so that we can just keep talking about them. So it's deeply unsatisfying to reciprocate either way, and we keep mum.

[MiszGreatBritain]

I grew up in a toxic home enviroment, and i barely spoke in my house. My parents basically isolated me in my growing yrs where i should have experirnce with my peers. Had to go home right after school, couldn't go to parties or functions😭, didnt have a cell phone when their were chat groups so i was left out the loop at school. Yrs of this just built up to me being quiet, being more of a listener than a talker. I like gatherings and hanging out but when ur personality is not extroverted or "intresting" then ur not ask to be around, or ur thought of being awkward, or boring, etc so ur again socially isolated even more. 😭😭

[SillyButWise]

And this is all I wanted my therapists to tell me over the years- how to fix myself. Oh how I wish they'd stop telling me there's nothing wrong with me, and to just accept myself for the way I am.
Being this way is what keeps me lonely and friendless.
Thank you for the straightforward video.
I know that I'm socially awkward and I don't want to be that way anymore.

[fightermx]

I considered myself a weird person and awkward but over time I learned to improve myself and instead of hiding who I am I started to define myself. So sad we all are forced to act normal just to fit in around society instead being ourselves.

[lasfinezt]

I feel like awkwardness stems from a lack of confidence, I consider myself to be highly confident and can hold a good conversation with most people. I often get told how good I am when dealing with people. Truth is no matter how “cool” or “smooth” you are, you will eventually make someone feel weird or awkward. One person can not please or be liked by all human beings. The only thing you can control is your comfort level within yourself.

[Bond_JamesBond]

12. Smiling too much (or too little) - I used to think having a perma-smile on my face would make me appear warmer and friendlier…until my girlfriend told me that it’s actually intimidating and makes people uncomfortable because it seems disingenuous.

13. Know your crowd/environment - If you are communicating with a bunch of loud potty mouths and you are acting timid and don’t swear and are sort of soft spoken you will seem weird in that environment. Also vice versa, if you are in a more mature or laid back setting and are cursing like a sailor and being a little belligerent you will seem very strange in that setting. Adapt to the environment you’re in.

[matthartman]

I come across people all of the time who violate these “norms” and I don’t try to avoid these people at all, nor do I see them as “weird.” Socially awkward, sure. I usually adjust and adapt so as to accommodate social engagement. For instance, if someone’s eye-contact is too intense, I’ll subconsciously use more hand gestures in my conversational style which helps redirect or at least divert their gaze. If you can crack the veil, socially awkward people are some of the most interesting people and make the most loyal friends.

[kewkiex]

I really struggle going past superficial conversations.I literally don’t know what to say to others every time im in a conversation my mind goes completely blank. I really have no idea what to say. It’s so stressful to conversate with others I tend to just avoid conversations with people. But I really wanna be able to connect with others and be normal. It’s especially harder to conversate with people my age.(early 20s)

[violetxoxox]

I have a pin I wear that says “Socially Awkward, ” and I have had SO many people strike up conversations with me over that pin. Literally coming straight out and wearing that statement on myself for the whole world to see just really seems to strike a chord with people. It’s such a great icebreaker. The comment I hear most of all is “We’re ALL socially awkward!” It’s helped me feel like I’m not really so different from everyone else, and I also notice the pin causes people to react differently during the times I’m particularly anxious and tripping over myself; instead of looking at me like I’m from Mars, I find they’re kinder and more patient with me. One of the best purchases I ever made!

[Whenwherehowwhy-]

Who decided being unsociable is a bad thing? You’re not weird if you feel happier not dealing with other people’s bs and prefer not having to be “on” in a social situation. It’s too exhausting. To quote Billy Joel, “I don’t want clever conversation. I never want to work that hard.”