How to start a conversation: 5 things to say after 'hello'

Don't know what to say? Don't worry! In this video, you'll learn easy ways to start a good, useful conversation. You'll learn how to choose topics for conversation, and I'll teach you the questions you should ask to start enjoyable and meaningful conversations! You're going to have fun, improve your English, and make friends! What could be better?

TRANSCRIPT

God, I love your lips, Angelina. Hi. James from engVid. I was just thinking to myself: Well, I know it's very difficult to practice English because you don't get a lot of practice with English speakers, but if there were a way I could teach you how to get past "Hello" to make the conversation grow and perhaps have the other person come back and talk to you, that would be of great value. So this lesson is about how to get past "Hello" and make a beautiful conversation flow. All right? I'm going to use Angelina to help me later on when I do an example, but for now I will tell you more. See? He's like: "Tell me more. Hmm. I'm interested." And so am I. All right, so let's go to the board, shall we?

I'm going to give you five conversation openers. You've said: "Hello", where do you go? Personally I hate this because I teach and I hear people say: "Hello. My name is James. I am from Japan, Tokyo." The conversation is essentially dead. Dunh-dunh-dunh-dunh. Don't know if that's the wedding theme or the theme from Star Wars. Doesn't matter. You understand. It's killed. Nobody cares. You've said everything that they need to know and then they're done. So why don't we do something that actually gets them to open up and want to tell you information? Okay?

So the first one we're going to do is this one. I like this one. It's so easy, it's so true. Look for something that someone is wearing or has that you actually like. You're not going to steal it, so don't think about that. But what I mean is you like. You like the t-shirt, you like the jeans, the ear rings or something, you're like: "Cool", because that will be sincere. "Sincere" means that you really mean it and the person can feel that from you, so they'll want to share with you because you're being honest with them. All right? So we look here, number one, walk up and say... So it's like: "Hello. Love your __________ (jacket, t-shirt). That is so cool." Yeah? "Where did you get them?" or "Where did you get it?" Notice I didn't say: "Where did you buy it?" because some of the coolest things someone's going to be wearing won't be from this country. It might be: "Hey. I was in India and I picked up these beads. Yeah, it was really cool. I was outside this ashram and..." And now you've got a conversation you didn't even know. Or it might be: "Oh, I was downtown in the hippie section, you know, and it was really cool, there was all this art." You've started a conversation. If you say: -"...buy them?" -"At the gap." Finished. So: "Hey. Where did you get them?" Let them say "buy". Don't bring that up. Okay? Follow that up with right away... As soon as you say: "Where did you buy them...?" It's true... It might not be true right now, but it could be true, you say: "Because I really have to get a cool present", or: "...an interesting gift for my nephew/my brother/my sister/my friend." Right? Or girlfriend, whatever, or your wife. By saying that you're saying, well, one thing, you have other friends. But number two, you're giving them: "Cool". You're saying whatever they're wearing is interesting, cool, different enough that it stopped you to talk to them. By example or by extension, that means added on you're saying: "You're kind of cool, too, because you're wearing it and I think it's cool, so it's got to be cool and only a cool person would buy it." Right? This is why it works, you've given them two compliments. Who doesn't want to be complimented? First you're saying I'm wearing something cool, then you're saying: "I need to get something cool, and clearly what you have is cool." I'm probably going to talk to you and go: "Well, you know, thanks for saying that. I liked it because..." And conversation started, and now you have an opportunity to maybe later on talk more, and that's how you get your practice.

Number two, how about this one? "Wow, you are __________ (tall)" or: "You have __________ (really bright eyes)", or something that has to do with the physical body. The first one was about things. Physical. Now we want to talk about physical. And you followed that up with: "What do you do?" Huh? Example, you see someone, you go: "Wow, you have amazing skin. What do you do to make it so clear?" Okay? Hmm. Or: "Wow, you're tall. What do you do? Do you play sports or anything like that?" Okay? You follow it up. This is the follow up, as I said: "What do you do?" But why does this work? Now, notice this is green and I have green up here.

[FluffyBunny]

I complimented someone's jacket and then followed up with saying I need to get my nephew a gift, and that person told me they also watched this YouTube video.

[SuperBodet]

"if you don't do it to your mother or your sister, don't do it to another woman"

THE BEST!

[Sphinx_]

11:09 This one is actually really good. I'm on my high school minding my own business then my classmate sit right next to me then say "Hello, do you think medusa has pubic hair?" and was like "yeah maybe, why u ask?" and he was like "Do you think it's also a snake?" then I got curious why did he think it that far. We had like a 2 hours conversation then we became friends lol. I'll never forget it.

[ilikeplant]

me: wow, how do you get your hair so shiny?

person: I'm bald
me: yeah!

[Rich-in-Sodium]

Introverts: *takes notes but might not even use it at all*

[francissu]

Sir, you’re no just teaching English, more importantly, you’re sharing your cheerful mindset in an excellent way. Thanks!

[lucasdelaporterie]

You don t teach english, you teach Life man!

Lucas 🇫🇷

[GODSPEEDseven]

James, this isn't just useful for someone learning English, but for someone like me, who is shy and gets nervous when approaching someone.

This video is extremely helpful! Thank you.

[mohdhairi]

When his channel have millions subs, he just go straight to the point, no gimmick, no flashy intro . Jusy pure content . Bravo 👏

[sbm.]

And here we are preparing for human interaction after being quarantined for so long

[watts]

Even those who’ve grown up with English as their first language, should watch this. This is great stuff, man!

[Remoteflpr]

I loved the explanation of starting a conversation. The funny thing for me is, I hate being the first one to introduce myself. I’d rather they be the first one to ask. So I just don’t hand it out until then; because I’m shy..😆

[olgaartamonova]

it's not just English lessons. it's a big piece of psychology. And I loved it! Thanks!

[jdrice]

One of the most genuine I’ve found is simply asking “how was your day?” Stating your name then asking that is one of the most honest conversation starters

[saulgster]

I'm a man and I love that he took the time to speak to us directly. Respect and kindness towards women as well as anybody else is most important.

[PlanetC]

"Listening more than you speak is a skill"

[evanhoffman]

If only all teachers taught like him, great content

[BigSmu_]

I would like this man to teach my kids how to talk and get in to good conversations with people.

[luke]

I don't know why I just watched this whole video as English is my first language... You're a very compelling teacher

[natalyoswin]

you are the best teacher i've ever seen) thank you so much )