The Inner Critic: What It Is & How It Alerts Us To Shame-Bound Needs

[shpalman]

I have an inner voice which is myself trying to explain/justify myself to an imaginary listener who might finally understand

[MichaelDemko]

I had a really weird experience with trying and failing to find an "inner child". I did, however, have a very loud inner critic... but at one point, on a particularly bad day, I tried to force myself to "look closer" at who this inner critic was. Apparently a lot of people hear the inner critic as a parent. But for me... the critic was actually a small child. My inner critic _was_ my inner child. It blew my mind for a few weeks...

[Alealea]

"I can only get help, care or connection from other people if I am absolutely perfect" Yes, I definitely have this belief in my mind and body as well. My inner critic comes super online whenever I feel very low, weak or eg when I am sick. I start to feel undeserving of absolutely anything, like I dont even have the right to occupy space with my existence, that I dont deserve it. And only when I will be perfect - aka healthy, strong, in a good mood, with lots of energy etc, only like that I will be deserving of connection.

[Ryanmuniverse]

12:45 "Having needs is normal"

All the stuff you say here, the logical part of my brain can see and understand that. I can imagine every other human on the planet having needs. But something so deep in my body is just revolted at the idea that could be true for myself.

[chrismaxwell]

Used to have a nasty inner critic. Now my inner critic in encouraging. Like when I'm frustrated in learning something my inner critic points out how far I'm come and keeps me going.

This was not always the case. My inner critic would come online when people go close to me that they would discover I'm on spectrum and that is something I was taught to have a bunch of shame for being. I was told I was broken and people don't want a person on spectrum. So I hid that part of me and the inner critic told me authenticity is bad. I had to realize the teachers when I was a kid that they were wrong and abusive. I had to accept who I really am and realize I love who I am. This wasn't a quick process took about 8 years. Took working with psychologist to help too. I also saw a spiritual healer too.

[alexandergreuter]

A phrase that I have been finding really helpful lately for when my inner self critic becomes really active is to say "stop judging me", I think it works really well because it doesn't dismiss what the inner self critic is warning me about, but it also allows me to stay present with my thoughts and emotions without getting overtaken by shame. Also "You know what I mean" has been really helpful, but might be more personal.

[Nisa-hv]

My inner critic doesn’t so much tell me that I need to be perfect or else I don’t deserve love, it’s just flat out, tells me that I’m a horrible person, a creep, a lech, and that I should be ashamed of myself. It doesn’t tell me to do anything, just consistently calls me names to the point where I end up crying from shame. I know none of it is true, I’m genuinely caring, empathetic, and just wants to help everyone. my methods are strange, and my perspective is alien. So many miscommunications have led to a constant shame, and I don’t even know where they originated from. sorry about grammar, I’m blind, using speech to text.

[allatones]

Your eloquent and kind therapeutic influence has been life altering and overall extremely positive. Thank you so much for teaching me, and sharing your wisdom. I am so blessed I found this channel and I refer to these terms/topics daily.

[on]

I have always carried myself with the idea that I am never the toxic person until I stumbled on your videos. You have helped me discover who I really am and what I need to work towards. Thank you.

[PixieMuffin]

"If it feels like you have more needs than the average person, that might be true, because you have C-PTSD or toxic shame [...] if anything, you deserve more care and support than the average person, because you're in more pain"

That hit me so hard... and, tbh, my brain/body is *very* opposed to believing that its true (which is pointing out to me that, uh, I need to work on that)

[ebbyc]

I hadn't thought of this before. That my need to 'perfect' myself during periods of emotional stress, such as after losing a job, rather than reaching out for connection and support, is just, shame-bound....feeling that I do not deserve empathy until I'm perfect, perfectly healthy and perfectly happy. So I withdraw, and double down on health. hmmmm.

[Jooniper]

Heidi Heidi Heidi…..thank you for existing. For working hard. And sharing your hard-work & gift with us❤

[adityahariharan]

Okay I'm like spooked at this point xD -- This is like the 3rd time in a row that you made a video that addresses the exact thing I'm struggling with. 👽

Thank you for being one of the kindest and most generous people in the world. 💗

[AlexanderVanOvermeiren]

This was a great video, and very timely for my life situation now. It's gonna be hard to turn my inner Ozai to an inner Iroh. Being with my inner children and listening does seem to help out in small steps.

[kamkamilka]

For the first time ever I’m liking and commenting Video on YouTube before watching it! ❤ Thank you Heidi for making me and my life better! Greetings from Berlin! 🇩🇪

[joshliam]

My inner critic has been operating on full blast lately, so I'm grateful for this video.

[slye]

OK I’m finally early enough to make this comment. I am continuously, amazed at Heidi’s ability to make timely videos like this, she genuinely seems to be tapped into a collective conscious of some kind lol.

I feel compelled to support her by sending a “Thanks” tip (accessible in the “…” menu next to the share button) but due to life circumstances can only give a small amount. Perhaps I could convince more of us to share a small amount with Heidi?

This isn’t to say that Heidi is has ever suggested that she needs money for this type of content, but it feels beyond deserved at this point. Her work has honestly been more valuable than most therapy that I’ve paid for. So whatever comes of it, I at least want to say thank you Heidi for everything!

[huayrachmielnik]

Yayyy! New video and she's back 🎉 I've been watching her videos more than any other, and they're so full of wisdom, knowledge and empathy. It's a gift ❤

[yvettebonilla]

It can also make it difficult for people to accept compliments.

[PsychedToknow-qwcb]

Yet another exceptionally informative video from your good, enlightened self, Heidi. No one I watch on YouTube explains psychology as well as you do; truly, you have found your niche in life. "Dr Heidi Priebe" -- has a nice ring to it...


📜 👍