How To Silence The Inner Critic And Stop Being Mean To Yourself

Do you ever feel like you're your own worst enemy? That little voice in your head always seems to be putting you down. In this video I talk about how to silence that inner critic and start being kinder to yourself.

WANT TO START IN THERAPY? Here’s a convenient and affordable option with my sponsor BetterHelp

For a monthly fee, you get a REAL licensed therapist with whom you can meet weekly by phone, video or chat. You can also send daily messages.

Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[rebeccajesse]

sometimes the downplaying is due to "being smart" being seen as bragging or as being annoying by peers. Someone recently pointed out to me that I downplay my ideas and overly soften my recommendations. They recognized it as a survival technique to get through classes so that I didn't step on anyone's toes or come off as a know-it-all. But I have been doing this for so long that now my confidence in my own ideas and recommendations has been damaged. It is amazing how much self-talk and trying too hard to fit in can have long-term effects and damage.

[galacticman]

“You’re keeping the party going long after the guests have left.”

Well said

[ciera_danyel]

Wow!!!! “It’s ok to be grey”.

This is incredible, and life changing. As someone who has been working to demolish my black/white thinking, I needed that reminder today. I’ve grown so much this year from watching your videos and by changing the way I speak to myself.

Thank you so much for digging into this dr marks.

[baybaddie]

Omg it's crazy because I totally forgot my mom use to call me names until I watched this and I'm 30 now. This is true, plus I got bullied allot in school even by teachers . Wow I am shocked because it was like built in me by others thoughts.

[shelveswithstories]

I am going through a very bad PMS mood swing thing right now (typing this with tears) and this video helped!

[jackbarnes]

I hear several voices. Most are bad, but I hear 2 voices that are very kind to me and help me. One is even my best friend and helps with the bad voices.

[sammavacaist]

Both my parents were harsh, self floggers who were relentlessly negative to me. Sadly, I had to detatch from them as an adult and now they are hurt that I keep them at arm's length. I'm STILL learning to retrain myself and struggle against their criticism and bad learned behavior!

[InnerWorkGuideShobhali]

Dr. Marks, I love this idea of adding 'yet' to our self-critical thoughts - a simple yet powerful tool to foster a growth mindset. It’s amazing how a small word can shift our perspective towards progress and potential. Also, your suggestion to treat ourselves with the same kindness and compassion we would offer a friend is a reminder we often overlook. This video is a valuable resource for anyone looking to cultivate a more supportive and positive inner dialogue. Thank you for sharing these actionable steps!

[JennyGaston]

Yes, it's so important for us to challenge our negative thoughts instead of ruminate on them👏🏾. Another great video as always♥️. You've inspired me to start my channel.

[fullscorpion]

Ive been working on this for years. Thanks for giving extra guidance. I used to berate myself constantly but its happening very little now. I started treating myslef like i do everybody else, and over the years its made a huge impact. After multiple strokes by the time i was fourty, i decided F my expectations and what i perceived as expected of me. Its amazing to go from self hatred to acceptance, and im working on the love part. I hope these tools will further make me a better person. Thanks doctor.

[rachelsbehavior]

Hello. I just wanted to say I appreciate these videos that you post. I personally struggle with mental health issues including bipolar disorder and adhd. Watching your videos have opened my eyes to my options and I have been able to manage my mental health a lot better. It has improved my sense of self along with my relationships. Although I am still on my journey, I am glad to know there are tools for me to get through it. Your videos helped save me from myself and I can’t thank you enough for what you do. They truly gave me the tools to save my life. It also is refreshing as a woman of color to see another woman of color anoint the world with much needed knowledge. You truly are a blessing. Thank you 🙏🏽

[midrashchannel]

I thank you Dr. Marks for inspiring me to began my PhD in Counseling Psychology next year. These videos have helped me through my Masters program. I've quoted you in my papers. Thanks so much!!

[NikiMcNally]

My childhood was terrible. I have DID because it was so bad. However, this concept can even be applied to alters struggling with self hate and overly critical thinking. Teenage parts really struggle with this. Also, with DID, the brain can compartmentalize the person who abused you and that can become another critical part that needs to be worked on. Thank you! Great video for me and my system!

[ancientromewithamy]

Great video! I see this in a lot of art and writing groups, like people thinking "I can't paint that well!" No, you "can't paint that well..yet!" Stephen King wrote that you have to get the bad writing out before you get to the good writing, and so on.

I just worry that the fixed thinking leads to people not enjoying things like doing art and music, because they think you have to be born playing the piano well to ever get good at it. Or you need "natural talent" and they think people aren't working at getting better at things all the time.

These videos have helped me a lot though and I recommend them to everyone!

[PyoreBliss]

I don't know if it was intentional but the small bell chime that sounded when you introduced the next point was SOOOO helpful for me; I'm easily distracted if I'm not hyper-focused. 😅 Wish I had something like this to help me out IRL. Like when that critic in my head gets too loud. 😢

[EphemeralProductions]

Having people like the ones i have around me who are picky and critical and impatient with/of me, does NOT help. And many people these days have that personality. I’m very sensitive so when they do that to me, i take it in automatically and it bothers me. Considering this, it makes me wonder if I’ll ever escape that self-talk.

[spencer]

On top of being bipolar 2, I am an artist so you def challenged a lot of the negative self talk I (unfortunately) engage in with my brain. Thank you.

[Mushroom-]

THE LEARNING OF " GROWTH MINDSET " .IS super crucial..
If ONLY I could've known the concept in elementary. I would've never quit violin.
I loved the violin. 🎻

[thecatsbackyard]

Well now this is constructive. It takes work though. This is something that requires practice.

[Melissaf]

Great video! I will need to watch this one repeatedly.