How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic

Many of us are struggling with an intensely critical inner voice, one who relentlessly punishes us for failing to live up to an impossible standard. Taming this voice requires us to recognise where it is coming from and what may be driving its fury.

FURTHER READING

“One of the tedious aspects of having problems with our minds is that we need to take more of an interest in how they work than untroubled people do: we have to become mind mechanics because something is hurting inside. A particularly noxious problem that afflicts many of us is that we are almost permanently anxious, self-critical, self-hating and afflicted by a sense that we don’t deserve to exist. We are definitely not good enough. Ever…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Deanca Rensyta Mihardja

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[ex]

2:57 “it’s even tried to kill me.” As someone who has attempted suicide in the past, this hit way too deep.
Damn you for trying to kill me, inner critic, cause now I want to keep on living.

[david.walters]

Right now, there are people all over the world who are just like you. They’re either lonely, they’re missing somebody, they’re depressed, they’re hurt, they’re scared of the past, they’re having personal issues no one knows about, they have secrets you wouldn’t believe. They wish, they dream and they hope. And right now, they are sitting here reading these words, and I’m writing this for you so you don’t feel alone anymore. Always remember, don’t be depressed about the past, don’t worry about the future, and just focus on today. If today’s not so great don’t worry! Tomorrow’s a new chance. If you are reading this, be sure to share this around to make others feel better. Have a nice day! 😍

[QuietlyMagnetic]

Don’t believe everything you tell yourself.

[ms]

Every video's release time is so accurate. It's scary

[reallifepsych]

Sometimes our subconscious is our own worst enemy and we don’t even realize it. “The self criticism has become too familiar to be noticeable.” So true. Self improvement begins with self awareness.

[InfinitiSin]

In today’s world our inner critics have gotten even more harsher because there are more social expectations to comply with. We just need to be confident in what we have not what other wants.

[emmanuelplaza]

I struggle with the inner critic telling me, "you should have said this", "you should haven't done that". Rumination is really a problem for me. The feeling that there is a judge in my mind, telling me that I am defined by my mistakes, when in fact, those mistakes mostly don't really matter that much.

[horowitz]

It's actually scary how relatable this is. Sometimes it doesn't just feel like I'm living with an inner critic inside of me, but a murderer who wants to put an end to my existence for all the wrongdoings I've commited in my life.

[Dialogos]

YouTube is reading my mind and sending me recommendations

[charles]

This video hit me like a rock.. I'm a grown man and I Still Hear my Father's Voice in my head criticizing me every day for everything I ever did wrong.

[sarahhicks]

That inner critic...she hasn't ever done anything. I'm the one who goes out and takes risks. I know she's trying to protect me, but if I listen to her all the time, I would have no achievements.

[alenardu]

The ability to recognize and detach from my own inner critic has been one of the biggest benefits I've found in practicing meditation.

[wanderingaudi]

I grew up in a household where nothing I did was ever good enough. I could make a 98 on a school test and my father would say "Look at the stupid mistake you made, you could have had a 100". So based on that you can imagine the criticism I endured with everything I said and did throughout my lifetime. My parents have passed away but I am left with a monster of an inner critic, I have sought professional help for that and other issues and things have improved but sometimes the voices from the past are still heard over my own and it is a battle of balance and sometimes I still lose.

[shadowilderness]

The accuracy of this. Have for a couple of years realized that my inner critic are just the words of my parents, with my voice over. My whole childhood I have been told both directly and inderectly to change myself because I was feminine. I've always known that I was gay ever since i could remember. And my parents always scolded me or shunned me whenever I was just being myself. My father was homophobic and my mother is a christian, and they always made me feel that there was something wrong with me.

When I reached my teens I became a perfectionist, and I was never content with how I looked, or with myself. Today I'm fighting hard to get rid of those voices. Some days I can motivate myself to do something daring, or go out of my comfort zone, but most days I end up telling myself "who do you think you are? People are going to look at you and make fun of you". So, I end up retracting, or just give up, even with my passion in arts. It pains to witness myself submit to those voices.

[challengedavid]

At 48 years old and a life of self hatred this resonates with me

[TheDhammaHub]

Mindfulness meditation really helps a great deal with it!. Just by becoming mindful of the voice, you already weaken it a bit. Repeat that often enough and the inner critic becomes silent!

[sameersrinivas]

This is the most logically based straightforward channel I have seen on YouTube which deals with variety of things. Blessed to have it

[francisxi]

i so needed this...ive been battling self hatred for the last 2 years, its just so hard

[thelegendhannii]

“No one needs to be hounded by a sense that they are excrement”
okay I’m stealing that phrase

[matthewsunday]

"Remain gently and generously on our own side." Gratitude is the dose. Meditation is the medicine.