UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL LONELINESS AND EMOTIONAL INTIMACY: WHAT TO DO AND NOT DO

This video explores topics related to what it means to have emotional intimacy, and what it looks and feels like when we experience emotional loneliness.

Additionally, this video explores what you can do as a parent or partner to create emotional intimacy, and to avoid creating an experience of emotional loneliness in your child/partner.

This video is part of a series on understanding the nature of complex trauma, relationships with our parents/partners, and the impact upon our lives, and mental health.

From "immature parenting," --to parents who struggle with disorders like Narcissistic PD or Borderline PD - this series will be exploring the dynamics of our childhoods, and the impact they can have upon our adult lives and relationships.

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* S O C I A L*

@drkimsage on Tik Tok:/Daily Mental Health Content:

Instagram: @drkimsage

I AM SO EXCITED TO SHARE THAT BY THE END OF SEPTEMBER 2021, I
WILL BE SHARING SOME COURSES ON THINKIFIC.COM!

[damedeviant]

I’d definitely love some advice on security in relationships. I always feel that the only person I can trust is myself and that I’m always poised & ready to end up alone, even in my 14 yr relationship and friendships, even when I appear happy.

[peggygibson]

5:45 pm. I grew up lonely and disconnected with a needy mom and emotional unavailable dad. They’ve both passed, I’m in a stable marriage and am well connected to my adult children. But I still feel numb mostly to joy and I’m often lonely. You mentioned a video to help with lonely adults.

[backyardgardenjourney]

I am so glad I found your channel. I will be looking forward to working through my relationship with myself and showing my daughter a healthy minded mother.

[looli]

This is the first time Ive heard my experience be verbalized. My parents didn't have the bandwidth for me. They were dealing wth my bipolar brother amongst other things. We moved to an entirely new country and without any friends or family. I was a bookish child so I didn't form any strong friendships. Mainly in an international school where there was a high turnover of children. And then we'd moved again. My parents were not abusive towards me per se though there was corporal punishment. But dad was abusive to my mom. They were able to connect wth me as an adult but mainly as me parenting them.

[wubree]

Thank you for this video Dr Sage, I relate to it very much. Love seeing you back in this space again!

[PeakTubez]

I really wish I had seen this a year or two ago! it is what it is at this point but, you know? Thanks again for more great content it helps me a lot and I know it helps many others😊

[bluvd]

Wow! So glad you popped into my video options. I have CPTSD and now I have 3 kids. I struggle with my tone and my responses. I sound angry and annoyed. I’ve improved so much on anger regulation but it’s always a struggle. I’ve learned to show more emotion to the kids. It’s a juggling act for sure. I’m never really sure if I am parenting correctly. 😪

[kathrineswango]

You relate to BP and BPS better then anyone I’ve heard on YouTube, thank you so much for helping me!

[tiablasangoriti]

I love your work Dr Sage. It is very affirming and validating.

[sascharaine]

I'm experiencing this with my partner. This wasn't always the case with us as we were always emotionally connected and that's why I pursued and stayed with him. Unfortunately it has become just like my relationship with my parents wherein they don't care or minimize, dismiss or overall ignore me aside from the typical "responsibility" they have for me. I'm back to feeling like an invisible person who doesn't deserve any love or attention and just want to disappear.

I have done my best to pursue a life that feels safe and showing up for my daughter even after a life of trauma. But I don't feel safe, heard or seen and I'm at a loss.

[TaraHower]

Can you list the books you have read? Also suggest books for wounded children in adults who are now parents?

[craigo]

It's interesting because each parental personality item and flawed dynamic that you cite applies to elderly parents w early stages or deeper dementia. Wondering how to apply your thoughts about boundaries and being traumatized and wounded to adult-child caregiving of Parents...any thoughts the parallels of trauma and their lack of capacity are uncanny

[shiannewilliams]

Omg I almost started crying at work! This was so helpful to me! My parents was definitely wounded and you touched on just about everything I went through. Thank you so much for using your time to explain this to us and shedding light on these toxic behaviors! I’ve worked as an RBT for a little over two years and have already seen why the science has been proven to work and it’s pointed out so many holes in the way I was raised. 😭 Thank you, thank you! 🥰

[kimberlymorrison]

My husband has BPD and Bipolar 2. It's a challenge everyday in order to communicate effectively with him. Difficult isn't even CLOSE to the word. He takes every word, nuance, eyebrow lift to the hilt. We both came from emotionally distant parents. Any tips?

[inmed]

Thanks Dr Kim, Can you please make a video about mis-diagnosing daughters of BP moms with BP, when they are actually suffering from the consequences of being the child of BP mom. This might be tricky because daughters will try to copy some of the mom's behaviours as all children do, even as an adult. But giving these daughters the diagnosis of BPD and failing to see their real suffering and the cause of it could be really devastating, after they were the ones decided to step into a therapist office, have you experienced this in you practice ? please share it if yes.