HOW TO HEAL EMOTIONAL LONELINESS: CPTSD AND ISOLATING. | DR. KIM SAGE

This video explores and explains how experiencing emotional loneliness in CPTSD can lead to using isolation, and what to do if you'd like to modify or reduce your emotional loneliness and isolating tendencies.

*FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:

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Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)

CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**

xo

* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents (due to state licensing and insurance requirements for myself) for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

[TarkMcCoy]

What was at first loneliness, became peace.

[kayladickson]

Dang as I read these comments I feel like a lot of us would vibe and be friends 😂 if only we were social enough to run into each other!

[GeminiTwinning]

I isolate because i feel safe in my room. Just like when i was a kid.

[kierlak]

Loneliness is not a lack of company. It's a lack of connection 😔

As adults we can reconnect, with our inner child and ultimately with ourselves ❤

[LadyGoddessSephiroth]

I have been isolating a lot lately. I get very overwhelmed in crowded spaces. I will often have anxiety attacks and retreat to my car to calm down. I don't like being in public. The company of one or two other people is fine, but no more than that. This video helps me understand my behaviors. Thank you for educating all of us.

[Nick]

I have been feeling empty depressed and lonely and feel like I have no support

[knitpurl]

Wow. I could walk through the door and get nothing but a look of contempt from my mother. Everything in that house revolved around her, her mood, her rages, her abuse. We were often not allowed to leave the yard or make friends. I was a thing. Waiting in my room until the borderline needed me for whatever her need was. Including to abuse. I believe I've been alone all my life. I may not have been good enough for them. If they only knew what I really think of them now.

[DrWendyNickerson]

I have been a licensed psychologist for decades and I have never heard these concepts explained so astutely. What a talent you have for helping others!

[ingrid]

I feel incredibly seen in this video. I’m 35 and have never been able to pin down what was wrong with me. I’ve always felt off and different from everyone else, like I’m a defect. But Dr Sage described it perfectly: my nervous system is overactive, always in fight or flight. I become so dysregulated around people. A simple interaction like “hi how are you” will cause my brain to shortcircuit and I lose track of what I’m doing. Being around others makes me feel like I constantly have to watch my back and watch other people’s reactions and behaviour to make sure everyone is feeling ok and that I’m not being judged. I become scatterbrained, stressed, frazzled. It’s social anxiety for sure, but it’s also linked to my dad who was highly narcissistic. He was scary, angry, unpredictable. One day he could be so pleasant, but something I say might change his mood entirely. Walking on eggshells is an understatement. An incident that would cause him to rage one day would cease to be an issue on another day when he’s in a good mood. I find it hard to trust others. I feel like I need to be in high alert all the time and to put my best face forward and impress and say the right things and be charming and basically a perfect specimen. The only way I know how to soothe myself is to be alone. Only when I’m alone do I feel at peace. But it’s a lonely existence. No emotional support when going through rough times. I separated from my long-term common law partner, who was my only friend and form of support, and I had nobody to help me, nobody to comfort me and to tell me everything’s gonna be all right. No words of encouragement, no love. It was so difficult. I had to be my own support. It’s awful to not have anyone.

[newworldlove]

My problem is I love being alone in my flat with my cat so much that being out in the world and having to deal with humans and new interactions terrifies me!! I actually loved lock down!! I could easily live like that for the rest of my life! I never feel lonely!

[amynaddra]

I was labeled the perfect child. 😢 I have complex PTSD from sexual abuse. We had no rules and no boundaries growing up. Also we were not hugged or told I love you. Very neglected

[vikramchatterjee]

When I watch CPTSD videos that list off childhood "trauma" events I realize that I really did get traumatized in a big way and not in some hypersensitive way where I just wasn't getting some deep intimate need met.

[kimlec]

Nervous system could never relax. Yep.

[juliearcand]

I have been isolating almost since covid19 started....I never wanted anyone to get ill or die but I was actually relieved...it felt like I had the "permission" to be alone. But I also know that having isolated for so long...it is almost becoming truly problematic...I used to have cleaning almost OCD, hygiene OCD, now I rarely clean and shower every few days...I never thought it would come to this. I have been treated for C-PTSD for over 25 years then my long term Dr retired and I don’t ever want to be that close to so strange I'm both lonely but afraid to be around anyone.

[Tammy-jlio]

I have found myself isolated because I've lost SO many people in my life due to Death, mistrust, or disconnection. At 54 I find myself ALONE a lot! No children due to childhood trauma and decided as a younger person I didn't want to bring any children into the family I grew up with.
Just blown away at how my life has turned out to be.

[lotte]

I am 68 and only three months ago I was diagnosed with emotional neglect and high functioning depression/
Now I understand the why's of unsuccessful relationships in work and love, always feeling drained and the way people reacted to me.

[shoveldoggermafia]

Thank you. For me people are dangerous. I struggle for authenticity and quickly judge people who are using strategies to avoid talking about anything except what is superficial to me. I don't trust people and I stay safe by being exactly what I dislike in so many others. I guess having used all the tactics myself I have a radar to spot the same in others. Its a mess.

[Hafhafnhaf]

For all who have experienced this type of childhood, and didn’t realize how messed up it was until after you had children, just be glad you found out about this before you had kids. We only can give to kids what makes sense in our state of emotions and mind and there’s a lot to learn before you have children, if you were raised in dysfunction. I relate to the person who said she didn’t start adolescence until 30. I think I did the same thing only I didn’t start until my parents passed away and I got divorced at 49 and that was when I felt like I was in adolescence. My life actually came crumbling down, went back to school etc. It’s been rough for all.

[vffzqvv]

Whoa “not being seen for who you are” really hit hard. Whenever I’m sad or not “perfectly fine” my emotions were treated like an annoyance or a weakness or “just in my head” so not valid or real.

During the pandemic I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and I managed to claw my way out and my moms response was “wow you’re so strong” and “your my idol”. I felt so alone and it hurt.
Thank you for this 🙏🏽

[farmingmama]

I am isolating more and more. My oldest child died 19 months ago and everyone deserted me after a few weeks. I tried really hard to understand that they just don't know what to do and I kept doing my best to interact and engage. My childhood was so traumatic and then life has been hard and added a lot of trauma. Losing my child and then being deserted by everyone has proved to just be too much. I am lost and just can't deal with it anymore. Will watch this video and hope for insight.