Alone and Unloved: The Scapegoat Child’s Emotional Isolation

Freeing yourself from the idea that you are a product of narcissistic abuse is an important step on the path towards healing.

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[She_McGee]

i think i have a good example of this! when i was apx 4 yrs old, my moderately sadistic mother did or said something cruel. with tears in my eyes i let her know she'd hurt my feelings. she mocked me, asking "how do you know i hurt your feelings, where are your feelings?" i replied i don't know. so she said, if you don't know where your feelings are, how do you know i hurt them? so i pointed to the lump in my throat saying my feelings must be in my throat because it hurt there. i doubt i got a hug or an apology, she never once ever apologized for any of her cruely, even at 70+, she would not admit regret for any of her abuse.

[thegamerfrominside]

Thank you so much btw.
I spent nearly 10 years of trying to find out what was bleeding me out.
Just never could of imagine any parent delibratly trying to emotionaly drown their offspring and the rage part about N fathers is dam scary.
Attempted suicude by trying to posion myself wirh a glowstick.
Its like when they are raging in the house its delibrate.
Like a kid being a bully to an animal

[sueg]

It was NOT safe to feel strong. If she even had a sense I felt strong, she would immediately put a stop to that!
Very much always alone and in the dark. My narcissistic mother had zero compassion for anyone but herself. So it was not only insult to injury, it was punishment if I asked for anything like affection, or any basic need.
My ONLY safe place was being alone and in my own world in my thoughts, hiding in the dark, and being with my dog.
My father worked night shift. So he wasn’t around to protect me.
Zero love or compassion from my narcissistic mother. It was always about her. And her attitude is she birthed us, so we were her PROPERTY and could do as she pleased with us. Pretty sick!