How To Have Thoughtful Conversations on Intimacy, Sexuality & Dementia

As the number of Baby Boomers with dementia increases, sexuality and intimacy are becoming issues that we need to address. Let's be thoughtful instead of emotional to really learn what's happening and figure out the unmet needs and possible solutions to give people an authentic personal connection.

This video was created as an additional resource to an article from the Online Dementia Journal - a FREE monthly resource for people living with dementia, families, friends, and professional care partners.






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[gerryjohnson]

Oh Teepa...what would we do without you? Thank you for your voice of experience and the legacy you leave in your wake.

[jackienoel]

i love what you said, they may just need that human contact of a hug, or intimacy, it doesn’t always mean sex

[EugeniaBonucci]

Wow so refreshing to have an open minded conversation about dementia sexuality. We forget they are still humans sometimes.

[harmdizzle]

I would absolutely love a YouTube segment called ask Teepa. I've been to two of her conferences, and I am NEVER dissapointed. I not only use her techniques, but I refer my families to her seminars and videos. I've completely relearned how to interact with these special individuals. They now call me the dementia whisperer. That's all Teepa.

[Carol-ngqi]

Wow TEEPA, You hit the nail on the head. I hope they are listening. I worked at a senior assisted living and most of the time this was the case. You are amazing. Thank you!

[soniaannwillard]

Why I do home health care!!! Your so spot on!!! It's ALWAY'S something simple !!!! Don't make it worse for the Dementia patient!!!

[amandagrayson]

Nothing get's people's knickers in knots faster than anything that smacks of sex! I have not really worked with people with dementia. My dad has dementia but he and I do not live in the same state. My experience with behaviour challenges comes from teaching adolescents with severe cognitive impairments and/or autism or other disabilities. Sexual issues were something I and my TA's had to deal with all the time. One time I had a boy who was non-verbal point/touch the fly on my jeans. Of course, I reacted as though he were making a sexual advance. Years later (YEARS LATER) I realised that he was probably NOT being sexual, but was attempting to point the difference between his jeans and mine. He wore jeans with an elastic waistband, not a zipper. He was probably just curious.


Thanks again for this video and for your positive thoughtful example of how we need to step back and really look at what is going on.

[janr.]

Thanks for your insight and expertise on this issue, Teepa!

[daveredmiles]

Amazing practice! Seriously great steps to understanding dementia, the pathways for curiosity and compassion are necessary to fulfilling others needs.

[jjrojas]

You are right Dr. Snow. When my dad gets to that situation, first I tell him, it's not nice and we must pray for help. So he says, "yes ma, am. Then after we pray, I turned the inspirational mix for relaxation and his okay. Just sharing.

[darrisnelson]

Beautiful explanation Teepa ... such valuable information, thank you! 🙏🏻💜

[rosadiaz]

I love all the knowledge and experience you are sharing to personal at the facilities that are in the dementia field, it applies also to caregivers with loved ones with other diagnosis and mental health challenges.
I thank you for presenting this kind of educational videos that are very helpful and pivotal to the relationship with our families.

[susanrose]

Perhaps this gentleman likes to relax after dinner by taking off his clothes. Maybe getting ready for bed. He may have done this his whole life. Would he prefer going back to his room and relaxing by himself. The common room may be too much stimulation for him after dinner. Did anyone ever ask about what he did after dinner in his home life? How many women take off their bras as soon as they get home from work?

[birkit]

And a lot of "quality" TV programs and shows are heavily laced with sexual cues.

[soniaannwillard]

People whom worked their whole life, raise family etc don't deserve to be forgotten, 💖😇💖🕊

[tvdavis]

This is exactly why I’m afraid to have friends “help”, and why I’m constantly checking the home camera while I’m at work: Husband dropping his pants and doing sexual things in front of open blinds/windows. He hates adult day care, since he’s not as progressed as others at the facility. He escaped the day care twice and I just got tired of paying $70+/day to worry, so he stays home. He’s more calm, but I’m waiting for the day the neighbor calls to say he has his pants down in the driveway! He can still use the restroom, walk, talk, etc. it’s not discomfort; it’s definitely sexual & boredom. But I have to work! And I’ve gone through three home care agencies, and frankly, they stink. Drunks, people who think they don’t have to do ANYTHING because “he said he wasn’t hungry”, thieves. It’s ridiculous.

[lindadimitroff]

I, and many others (support groups online) have the opposite problem; (not inappropriate) a dramatic and increase in their sexual drive. Always asking for sex, cannot stop even after telling/asking him to stop. It's a major turnoff to romance. He's like the guy from Laugh-In who harrasses the woman on the bench. Really! Every day.

[irmapena]

God bless your knowdlege of people . What can we say to you ? Bless you dear Teepa. Gracias

[oufannamedbrandon]

I'm currently helping take care of my grandparents with dementia, Grandad was a very sought-after person eating with presidents and dignitaries, always being asked for his advice on situations and Grandma is in the same boat. Some things he does are so confusing and I find myself wondering "why would you do that bud?" By watching your videos I'm learning trigger words like saying "no don't do that" are garbage ways to communicate with anybody. Much less established Elders.. Naturally your brain goes to this child like response during childlike Behavior when that's not it at all. Your detective skills are showing me to break down an "opportunity" not an "issue". Thank you for who you are!! Regardless of others opinions on the man, id Love to see you on Joe Rogan's podcast or others like it.. He has a plethora of very intelligent/caring people on and I would easily categorize you into that group! More of the world must hear what you offer to people with such a misunderstood disease!

[mariacanelas]

I completely agree with you. Amazing video. 💗