How to handle someone who insults you but disguises it as a joke

The people who insult you and continue to laugh, like it's only a joke, but it's meant to be really mean and hurtful are insecure and have self-esteem issues. What can you do? Laugh right along with them. If you act all defensive and look down and appear very embarrassed, then they have won. But if you laugh at yourself, you come across as poised and self-confident.

[clinteast]

sometimes its hard to smile, when you really want to beat there head in.lol

[VincentAlcatraz]

Reminds me of why I don't want to be nice with people, let alone interact with them.

[tercial]

Thank you makes sense now. I notice they would always make me feel like nothing even though I always uplifted them. They took my kindness for weakness. I got tired of it and had to cut them loose.

[eviltree]

Your grand message: STOP HANGING AROUND TOXIC INDIVIDUALS


hahahaha XD

[h.]

Gradually start distancing. Stop calling, reply late, say that you're busy, and eventually block them everywhere! 3 months and I've finally completely cut them off. Best DECISION ever 💖

[Rhaxma]

Also, looking down defensively is definitely a no-no.
You look them straight in the face and give them a look of disgust. They might keep on laughing, but they get the idea.

[mynamehasbeentaken]

The problem is when you laugh at the insults and they think you don't mind being insulted and keep pushing it further🙂

[Reshme]

"The classic bully defense: when called out on being mean they claim it was a joke and the victim is at fault for having no sense of humor. Classic from the Bully Party." For example, my brother in law said, "hey silky have you ever seen a buffalo or a cow before?" I said, "Well I know you have seen one lots of time…every time you look in the mirror." Odd enough the man was over 40 and I was 19. How can older man feel intimidated by a teen? Strange enough he started to really respect me afterwards.

[NordicU]

I disagree about 'laughing it off'....I dated a guy years ago who constantly insulted & criticized me & when I got upset he would say, "what's your problem, I'm just joking"...so I decided to change my approach & laugh it off, but he NEVER stopped insulting me...it got worse. But i do agree with your other video when you said to ask them, "what's your point?" and it catches them off guard & they have to explain themselves...I find that approach really effective...thanx!

[simonpetkov]

the problem is the one who are insecure and shy they are the one who get insults. Its soo stupid like what did they even do to you.... and the worst part is when your "friends" start loughing as well and insulting

[nataliesmith]

I'm definitely gonna try this.
I'm sick of my one family member that constantly insults my special needs son. It's so hurtful.

[stuka]

i actually have a coworker like this. At first we were friendly with each other because we were both new to the company, but then i guess she got really comfortable with me and thought that she can hurl insults at me in the form of jokes and get away with it. She's a woman in her early 20s, i'm male in my early-mid 30s. How I handle it is i boomerang the insult right back at her. For example, she made fun of the fact that i'm 10 years older than her, i responded with something like, "yea but you actually look older than me". another instance was she made fun that i tried to dress nicely for work and that she doesn't care about dressing up at work and once again, i responded with something like "you know who doesn't care about their looks? ugly people". Man the look on her face everytime i throw one at her is priceless.

[kittenlove]

theres good people and then theres people that make insults to others for no good reason to make themselves look good. i hate people like that.

[natesmith]

I have a question? How come when you make a 'joke' back; people jump my ass. They can say hurtful jokes and when I laugh and say a 'joke' back it's not funny and I crossed the line? WTF

[Asdfgqedfglo]

Actually, this advice is wrong. I use to have a “friend” that did this to me every single time I hung out with her!! When you laugh it encourages them to keep doing it! So the only way to truly solve this problem is to put distance between you and that person or drop them completely out of your life because they’re going to keep on doing it and when you laugh you’re letting them know it’s OK for them to keep doing it. So either put your foot down and tell them to shut the fuck up or put distance between you and that person. *That’s the only way to handle a person like that!*

I understand what this woman is saying in the video completely and this tactic does work in *other situations* when someone is trying to insult you to make themselves feel better. But in this type of situation laughing is only giving the impression that their behavior is OK and when you do that they’re going to keep on making backhanded comments toward you and the comment will get worse. Put distance between you and the asshole or put your foot down and just tell them to stfu already!

[anespressomachine]

People say I couldn't handle jokes and overreact a lot! People were making mean rude and hurtful jokes, but when I came to this video it made me realise what I was doing was what they wanted it and yes, it could be very hurtful to many people! thanks for this awesome video!- you earned a subscriber

[Rhaxma]

I find confrontation or coldshouldering far more effective.

[katydrew]

I wouldn't laugh if someone insulted me. That's how bullies keep on bullying...

[amv]

im hated by people who act like this because i turn it around on them.

i LOVE to make them think that they bother me, and make me feel bad, when it is just a game to me

 its what i live for.

the look on their faces when they realize that i am toying with them: priceless.

>:}

[community]

There is friendly, loving teasing then there is malicious making fun of everything you say and do and making it into one big, continuous joke.  I had a sibling who did that.  At first we all thought she was just being cute and funny until I realized everything she did was an insult wrapped into a joke.