*3* Tips To Handle Controlling People (Ask A Shrink)

Being around a controlling person can be TOXIC and emotionally draining....in today's video I examine 3 ways to handle this type of personality. I'm a Licensed Therapist and answer your questions on 'Ask A Shrink'.

[realhealing]

I come from a family of controlling people. No contact was my only option. These toxic people don't change.

[candyjay]

They're EVERYWHERE the things they do to get control is always abusive. They're manipulative crazy, liars, jealous, and full of anxiety. Being around them is like living in a hurricane mixed with Hell and a tornado.

[IrregularOne]

Controlling people in my life are literally trying to make me a different person

[laurabernard]

STAY AWAY KEEP AWAY PERIOD AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON this true of your siblings and/or parent/parents.THEY DO NOT EVER!! /if not for the worse….. STAY AWAY FOREVER BECOME AND FIND WHO YOU TRULY ARE AND AND LIVE YOUR

[queendivine]

I lose all respect and love because of control freaks. I want nothing to do with them! Insecure people are control freaks life isn't a prison cell. I know why I love being single and not being around too many people. I refuse to let people attach themselves neither do I care to be attracted to people. Controlling people lose you and deserve to you don't lose them they need to be removed out of you life! I have always said I rather be found dead then to live in a cage with controlling people.

[susanisham]

I have found that direct statements are not the best way to handle it, because control is all about fear. I counter gently with my ideas and try to include them where I can. Sometimes I offer to surrender the task to them 😀

[queendivine]

I have had people calling themselves family which they are not who are like this. I moved far away from them and Don't want anything to do with them. I can care less to please these people. The toxic thing about these people this they have even had the nerve to threaten me. They have a bad toxic habit of contacting people telling them my business it was their way to try to manipulate my life because they have this miserable controlling behavior trying to dictate my life. I'm 41 and I can careless about what they think about my life and who the hell they want me to be. I don't wake up ever aiming to please these people about my life. Toxic people hate the work no or it's non of your business they are toxic and miserable people who believe they was apart of your purpose in life like being happy and to find happiness and enjoy life. I live by my own rules and will never allow someone else's toxic emotions or opinions rule and dictate my life. These are people who believe I'm suppose to agree and listen to them I can careless what they think or feel about my life af me doing me. My life was created for me in the first place not for them. Control freaks are miserable and have no life of their own. Life without these people is beautiful, respectful and quiet always make no mistake.

[jmfs]

I have a manager that has OCPD and possible narcissism. I find that not talking at all is more helpful than trying to seek common ground. I try to shut it down without words. I try to find a professional reason to walk away.

[Kelly-slvz]

I really don’t care if they don’t like it when I say “Yes, I will!” Or “NO!” They don’t care if I get upset. I say what I want, in a respectful yet firm manner and I let the chips fall where they may. I’ve cut a few people out of my life and life has SO much less drama!!!

[nicholasschroeder]

I think Brad was a fly on the wall watching my mother and taking notes.

[aking]

😃❤another wonderful session! I feel a lot of the anger comes from the tiny slights that have built over time. When i try to work it out, it just feels crazy making. Responding at the moment explains how putting off ones needs can cause harm to one sense of self esteem & self worth.

[nevadatan]

Idk, I can't say I agree with what's been said here. Straight off the bat if you're controlled by people from birth then your self esteem is non existent, and it's likely you were never been taught/allowed to mature into a functional adult. That's why people remain controlled, because it's all they know. I feel it's pretty redundant to frame it as "why are you allowing yourself to be controlled", as I don't think it's a choice anybody would actually make. Hence the definition of being controlled.

Not to mention countering somebody controlling is dangerous, and so people remain in the situation because there are serious risks to consider.

Maybe the video could have been titled "countering controlling people at work" etc, coz when there's that structured environment you are somewhat protected and support could be available

[valorwarrior]

One thing is that these controlling people happen to megalomaniac narcissists too.

[mhdkhd]

I don't know one single person in my life like this, but I know an entire family

[escapist]

Thanks for this video, I’m dealing with this right now at a job. The second point to avoid a hard no or yes, really hit home. Thanks for your work!

[Red-gvmu]

Why am I willing to tolerate? I'm in a group and one person out of 20 is this obnoxious controller. The other 19 people are golden. But no one says a word in order to avoid conflict.

[bianca]

I just don't understand how someone can think they can control everyone or everything. I'm getting out clean.

[scottthomasen]

Trying to co parent with an ex....just hearing this makes my stomach turn. Can't get away from it.

[Nobility]

They tried to do this to me while I was in the Hospital, and when you stand up for yourself, they use the oooh something is wrong with him or her phrase . I decided to see my wife in The Hospital, because she has cancer, and I notice when I'm in the Hospital , because im a black man, I recieve hate coming from this black Nurse, and for some odd reason, they get this frawn on there face, so I knew what I was in for . The crazy part is women of our color like to desrespect black men, so she said, sit down over there, I said NO I'm standing up, then she said I have to talk to you and your wife, I said No you don't, then she said oh your wife medicine is in the Lock box take it with you, I said her doctor called me and told me that they had to figure out what medicine to take, then she said you can leave now, that's when I said no, you need to tell that to your boy friend not me . Then she tells my wife something is wrong with me because I didn't tolerate her nonsense, and she came in anyway acting like a doctor, when she really didnt have any postion . Listen to Brad Shore, he really telling the truth, they have problems at home and try to put it on you .

[bobjones]

One of my parents is an utter control freak, she interjected so severely into my marriage that my wife's parents put in place a restraining order to keep her away from my son. And even said to my face that she would do the same to me, if she got control of my son she wouldn't allow me access to him. What ever it is she has, I'm guessing that she is at the total extremes of her state, every body around her calls her bossy, but they haven't seen anything, she treats people like puppets, the closest analogy i have come up with is she imagines people as a doll, you become her little toy, she want's to choose the hair style, the make up, the clothing, she must have control of every aspect of that individuals life. Regardless of any collateral damage. You're her barbie doll.
She even interjected in my wedding reception, she actually evicted my best man from the proceedings, told him to leave, put him in a taxi and sent him home. To date the animosity she has generated throughout my life there have been five confirmed attempts on my life because of her involvement. People are actually trying to kill me because of what she has done. To say it puts a little strain on the relationship we have is an understatement.
I pick her up on her behaviour, I'm slammed down and told it's all my fault, I am the one with the problem.