Why People Afraid of Love

Relationship expert Dr. Lisa Firestone explains why so many people are afraid of love.

[nildagarcia]

I rejected so many ppl after my ex broke up with me because I was scared of being hurt again and I lost so many friends

[halfwrittenletter]

I'm afraid of the idea of being in love or being loved. Love disgusts me in a way I don't understand why. I wanna at times, but its disgusting most of the time.

[abby]

I've never had a bf because I always reject them because I got so scared 😭💔

[redrosebeats]

You know your at your lowest when you searched for “why am i scared of love” and click at the fist vid that shows up

[radioactivegum]

I use to think I was ace but now I know I'm actually a hopeless romantic struggling with anxiety, inexperience, and dealing with being a victim of csa. It's hard but I'll find love one day.

[HollyAlt]

You absolutely hit the nail on the head. I find myself relating to everything you just said-I am in a loving, intimate relationship that has lasted over two and a half years so far, but I am terrified. This weekend my boyfriend and I had our first major blowout; at the end of the day I realized I was upset because I realized my boyfriend ultimately is not who I imagined he would be when I pictured my perfect boyfriend and that he does have flaws. I love him exactly for who he is and don't want him to change, it's just scary coming to the conclusion that you yourself have to change to break old negative habits in order to achieve true happiness with your love.

[thequintessential]

The reason why i think we are afriad of love because Love can make us blind. After watching crime stories, and the news how married couple kill each other to pursue relationships with partners outside the marriages to have affairs with them. That many people blindly fall in love and ignore warnings signs of an abusive partner because their partners want to sweep them off their feet, sell a dream that turns into a nightmare

[sahil]

Why is everybody afraid of love? *"LOVE"!!*

[yasserhassen]

"Possibility of lose of ourselves", wow this vid just further lessoned my value of relationships in my life...

[santostracey]

I’d rather get told a thousand no's than finally getting a yes. I would always be skeptical about their intentions.

*It’s like why’d you say yes? What do you really want from me? What are you planning to do to/with me?*

[megankingsford]

I reject people so much because I’m scared of commitment and I always feel pressured by friends to get with people and it’s really heart breaking because all my friends have boyfriends so I feel so lonely because whenever we hang as a group, they each have a boyfriend and I’m always the odd one out

[smky_up]

I get done wrong with so many women that I don’t know what to believe or how to love. I’m not scared of love I’m scared to love

[mainorvillanueva]

I haven’t been rejected but I’m just scared of love for some reason anytime someone starts to make a move on me my body feels weird and I start to want to leave the room or cry idk why

[lukiso]

Wow yes, alot more people should see this video, thank you lady, i think you helped me alot with my relationship and with love in general, i think my past experiences with love have scarred me so much that i dont even know, but wow thank you so much

[cheyannknepp]

After my crush from third grade rejected me I began to hate him, also making be afraid to fall in love.... this really helped me learn something about myself

[telecastinater]

I was raised by parents that had their issues but worked thru them, my ex wife experienced a mother that abandoned her and a father that chased skirts, 23yrs later pandoras box opened and she left my son and I. Geez the writing was on the wall....

[jamesmitchell]

GOD. IS. YOUR. SOUL MATE. NOT ANOTHER. HUMAN.

[grandpzero]

So I got hurt with my last gf and I found someone else that really loves me, and wants to have a family with me and for some reason this idea really scares me. Why, I still don’t understand my self here. Why... is this idea scary for me.

[aprilzhang]

Very helpful. The last point really resonates with me.

[dontran]

The Reasons Why I am Afraid of Love:

I fell in love few times before. But the way I fell in love with someone is not healthy. My love for someone easily transitioned to an unhealthy lust for someone. That unhealthy lust for someone caused me to become too clingy, too attached, & too creepy... I ended up hurting the person I fell in love with... I did not physically hurt the person but the clingy & attached feelings is enough to make the person I loved feel scared & uncomfortable. When the person I loved is scared of me, then it means I hurt them (even though I did NOT hurt them physically), no questions asked. Not surprisingly, I got dumped & rejected by the person I fall in love & I got myself hurt. I blamed myself for creating the pain between me & the former person I fall in love with. A lot of other people suggested I should moved on with a different relationship. So I did, but turns out, the moving on to the different relationship is known as a "Rebound", which is also bad because like my "first love", I made similar mistakes as my 2nd love & the cycle of pain repeats itself.

But this problem of mine not just applies to love, it also applies to my friendships too. Majority of my friendships were dysfunctional like my love & once again it's relating to my clingy & attached feelings to people around me... I constantly seek validation of others in order to get this feel of sense of belonging. But turns out, that seeking validation of others is also unhealthy & what leads to dysfunctional relationship with people around me.

Once again, I blamed myself for causing a lot of people around me to fear me. I blamed myself for causing dysfunctional relationships with people around me from friendships to attempted lovers. I hated myself for being too clingy, too attached, & too creepy. When those people isolated me & defined me as a monster to them, I agreed with their ideology of them defining me as a monster. Of course, this resulted me sink deep into hurting myself even more that I almost ended up taking my own life from the process...

But not all is lost. Just as I am about to succumb to the abyss of darkness with nearly taking my own life, someone did come to the rescue to help me.

I slowly got back up on my feet & slowly seek help.

Right now, I am making slow progress in my life. I meet new people. But of course, because of my past of getting hurt from past people, I feared making the same mistakes on these new people I meet. I feared that I may ended up hurting these new people like I did in hurting the people I interacted in the past... Good news is that I still make an effort to interact with these new people & not shut them out. Bad news is that the way I interact with these new people, I interacted, but not as close & deep like the people I interacted in my past that got myself hurt. Thus, that's how I develop a fear of falling in love. I fear falling in love with someone because I learned love can easily transitioned to become unhealthy lust. I feared falling in love because I got hurt before from the way I "fell in love" which ended up hurting others whom I fell in love, due to my fell in love in unhealthy... I feared I lose control & become a monster when I fall in love & that's why I am afraid of love because I am afraid to hurt myself & to hurt others I fall in love with...

But I was told that in order to not be afraid of love & to have a healthy love, we must learn to love ourselves... Which is very difficult... But, that's the ideology.