WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE WITH DEMENTIA REPEATS THE SAME QUESTIONS: 5 TIPS

Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)

In today’s video, I share tips for dealing with a loved one who has dementia repeat the same questions.

One of the least harmful symptoms of dementia is often the most frustrating. If you are caring for a loved one with any type of dementia, such as Alzheimer's disease or frontotemporal dementia, then chances are your loved one frequently repeats themselves. This can often lead to frustration and feeling a loss for what you could even do. This video shares 5 strategies you can try using with your loved one to see if it reduces how often they ask the same questions, or, at the very least not get any worse!
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacaregiver

[davewilson]

My Wife and I are 86 and she is being cared for by me. Luckily I am still compos mentis and she is only marginally affected. I find the worst time for her to behave irrationally and weirdly, is in the evening when her brain becomes tired. Usually I manage to cope with things, but on rare occasions, I have, on going to bed, had to remove the door keys, for fear of her getting outside without my knowledge and wandering off. This has been the case for nearly two years now and she hasn't deteriorated markedly in that time, so I'm managing to handle everything that crops up. We've been married 64 years and it could have been the other way round, with me needing to be looked after. You just have to play the cards dealt in life. During the War, in England, we had the slogan, KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. That is my daily mantra and so far, we're doing O.K. At least we're still facing life together.

[mimistans]

As a person who had a father with Alzheimer’s and a brother with dementia, it is my fear. I am 67. My hubby likes to correct me when I say things wrong or remember things wrong. I told him to just stop it. I am already aware that I may be on that slippery slope, but it doesn’t help to constantly be corrected on something that doesn’t matter, because it just makes me even more upset.

[lisas]

Years ago, when I was little, an elderly neighbor had dementia. He wanted to drive and he would ask his wife for the car keys. She would say when you can find the peanut butter you can drive. It seemed so odd to me, but he would get distracted looking and I guess forget about the keys.

[johndenison]

I've just come across this channel, sadly a little late for me.
My wife of 52 years sadly passed away just before last Christmas. We were soul mates and I miss her terribly.
I would say to all carers, make sure you have said everything you need to say before its is too late. Having regrets afterward won't help your grieving.
Dementia in all its forms is a horrible condition, I comfort myself in knowing she is now free and home, and was able to keep my promise of being with her until the end.

[omagaud]

In the early stages of my mom’s dementia I did get annoyed by her repeatedly asking the same questions. However as she declined, her world got smaller and it was difficult to even tell her stories about my life or my day because her attention span was also limited. So I eventually would welcome those questions no matter how repetitive, as simply a way to keep the conversation going in our daily visits.
Also to keep the conversations going I would ask her lots of questions about her childhood and early life as she retained a lot of those memories.
It’s been three years since she passed and I still really miss her ... repetitive questions and all!

[paulfrombrooklyn]

Many years ago, my Father's cousin had Alzheimer's disease. It was her 90th birthday and there was a party for her. When we sat down at the table for dinner, I was sitting next to her. She started talking with me. The thing was, she was all over the place. None of here sentences had anything to do with the last sentence and a lot of her conversation was not even understandable. What did I do. I just talked with her. I knew it didn't matter what I said. As long as I talked with her. We talked for quite sometime and none of the conversation made any sense. But, she was having a nice time. She was laughing and I was keeping her company and I had a good time doing it. Later, one of her daughters came over to me and thanked me.
I know a lot of people are uncomfortable conversing with people with dementia and some people are frightened. But you shouldn't be. You are stepping into their world and giving them a very needed companion.

[marvinclemena]

My mom is 90, and has dementia. I have been taking care of her since the onset. I know how frustrating it is to see a loved one going through this. My advise is have tons of Patience and LOVE. We only have one mother and father. Please let us shower them with all the love we can give for they have showered us with the same Love since we were born. God Bless you all.

[dawnmichelle]

My grandma had dementia. She used to ask a lot about where my grandpa was buried. So I would get her to tell me something about him. The day she passed I sat with her for several hours and she repeated stories about how they met and their life together. Mostly the same story over again, but for me it's a wonderful, precious memory. What I wouldn't give to hear her repeat her story again!

[prairiedf]

One tip that works for me, is to ask the patient the same question immediately after you answer it for them. I think this makes them recirculate the answer thru a different part of their brain and they are better able to remember the answer.

[teresalohan]

I know it wouldn't work with everyone but I have used humour successfully. When people were coming to visit and she kept asking where everyone was staying at first I answered the questions truthfully. Eventually I started saying that people are going to be sleeping in the garden under the tree or under the picnic table for shelter. that would just make her laugh and then we would move on to something else. I find that the ridiculous answer is sometimes a great distraction.

[ronnieandtheriots]

It's like you're at home with me & my mom. I don't feel so alone.

[sandramann]

One thing I found with my mother that was a blessing was if I said something a few minutes I'd have the chance to correct what I said. No regrets!!!

[ojazin]

Dementia is a cruel disease... But understanding the disease really helped me to understand Mom's condition. Read up alot on dementia, talked alot about it with Mom's Geriatrician. Many people say they understand the condition but when it really happens to them, they actually don't. It's really heartbreaking to see family members' responses towards Mom's condition. Glad I finally get to moved Mom to my very own place where she can feel safe....

[IamMagsB]

it doesn't bother me when asked the same question repeatedly..patience and understanding is very important when caring with people with dementia.

[almabayomi]

My mother's repeated concern is my age! As soon as I tell her she begins to count on her fingers. Then she tells me that she is 95. She is 96. I love talking to my Mother via Facebook, and even though she may be losing her memory she knows all the words to every song she sang when I was a kid! We have had great conversation regarding her family history! It's what she remembers best. I just love her so much, and her positive attitude. Thank You for the great suggestions!

[dvorahmariscal]

We went through this with my mother-in-law. My husband would get berserk. Finally I had to explain to HIM that part of her brain no longer functioned and he needed to get over it. That really helped. As she got worse and said we never visited or took her out, we started taking photos and did a cork board in her room at the board and care. That helped. We took her out at least twice a week and saw her daily as we had to give insulin shots, twice a day.

[barbhaines]

Great tips as my mom repeats herself over & over. It's heartbreaking that we can no longer have conversations. We just put her in a nursing home as her care became too much & they just closed the nursing home to visitors because of covid. My mom will not understand why there is no one coming to visit her.

My sister would go up every night at supper to help her take the covers off her trays. Now she will have no one to help her. They just bring the food & walk away.

My mom has three other women in her room which she loves because she hates being alone. We were just informed that they're closing the curtains around all their beds for fourteen days as everyone has to isolate. These women haven't left their rooms in months so that makes zero sense. They're being kept apart from their loved ones which is torture for them. I've heard some seniors say they'd rather be dead than kept apart from their family.

That's the only bright spot in their days is to see their family members. It makes me so angry & heartbroken. I hope this doesn't go on very long. She's turning 94 in two weeks & we won't be there to celebrate her birthday. Makes me want to cry.

[DMMtoS]

I think I helped my sister respond better to our mother who had dementia. We are autistic, repetition is not such a bad thing for us, but knowing how to respond to someone else who is repeating can be a challenge. When Mom would start repeating I taught my sister to think "reset button" and I would touch the tip of my nose as a non-verbal signal ... LOL. Then anytime our mother started repeating and it was difficult for her to respond to mom, I would just give the non-verbal signal. That would mean 'reset - pretend like it is the first time you are hearing this.'.

[hollyvondross]

That’s when I put on some old music that mom loves and dance with her. Music is so very helpful to distract her, get excercise and improve her mood.

[NCcrumpet]

My issue in dealing with my mother with dementia who lives with me is not questions, but repeating the same stories over and over again. She has about 10-12 of them and even the nice ones are starting to feel like nails on a chalkboard to me. I dread being in the car with her lately because I have no place to escape. When at home, I can walk away and take breaks or redirect. She was always a non-stop talker, but what tries my patience lately is when she begins one of her stories with "I never told you this, but..." It takes all the patience I have not to scream, "You have told me this story thousands of times!" I feel terrible about this and I would never say this to her, but I need help knowing how to respond to save my own sanity.