5 TIPS FOR TALKING TO YOUR LOVED ONE WITH DEMENTIA

Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)

In today’s video, I share 5 tips for talking with a loved one who has dementia.
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Find out: "why you should lie to your loved one with dementia"
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[candicane]

After 2 years of never showing my frustrations to my LO, I literally went off a few days ago. I couldn’t take the verbal abuse anymore and my patience was beyond thin. It’s so hard to determine what is really them vs. what is the disease.

[loriscook]

As a nurse for 40yrs I found it easier not to ask questions (ie do you, did you, what did you ) as it confuses and upsets them when they can’t remember. I would talk about my family, pets, garden, hobbies, sport, make up stuff, just have a nice conversation. You’ll be surprised how they often chat back about their childhoods jobs, family etc Couldn’t agree more with 2 choices, works so well for clothing, food, drinks what you’re going to do etc ( only way to deal with toddlers and younger children as well ) Two of my aunts had dementia, we had loverly chats about flowers and gardening yet they didn’t know who I was any more. Don’t dwell on what they cannot remember, find something they enjoy ie listening to music, looking at a nice picture book, stroking a cat or dog or watching children play. Don’t stop contact just because they forget so much

[mistyqqq]

I was caring for my dear sister in law and she woke early one morning and wanted to get up.
I found it best to grasp the chance as sometimes she didn’t want to get up so I knew it was best to get straight on with her morning routine. I was tired as I was also looking after my brother who had just come out of hospital after a major operation, I rushed to dress myself and then got her to the bathroom. All comfortable, washed and dressed she was sat in front of the mirror while I brushed her hair. She was in her eighties and looked so neat and pretty sat in her nice clean clothes. Suddenly she said my name and said “ your blouse is inside out” I glanced at my dishevelled self in the mirror and had a good laugh. It tickled me to think she was supposed to be the one with dementia

[grfegrfe]

Thank you for this great advice. I feel very very ashamed. My mother has moderate dementia and I've been doing things the very exact opposite of what you just said. I feel terrible and guilty but I'm so dead physically with all the responsibilities that I've resorted to self pity. She, poor thing, bears the brunt of my moanings and impatience. I have to change my ways. Your video was an eye opener. Thank you.

[mbcriddell]

One of my adult children found you today! I am so grateful! We have just received an official diagnosis for my 78 year old husband although we have been dealing with various stages of this for about 15 years. I have learned so much this afternoon! God bless and keep you for doing this!

[echase]

re: facial expressions. I was taught in nursing school to wear a mask if you have to clean up a poop or vomit accident. It can prevent the person from seeing our possible (unconscious) facial expression. ;)

[ericribbens]

This afternoon my wife took her clothes off at 3pm, and was crying in the bed. I gathered that she was upset with herself. Told her that she has a terrible disease, that she is brave, and that it's not her fault if bad thiungs happen. Told her several times that I love her. It's a challenge to know whether to talk directly about her dementia or to avoid the subject.

[annhill]

Thank you so much! I learned a lot today. My husband has been slowly declining and I forget he can’t understand what I am saying a lot of times. Sometimes I just get angry. Now I am learning it is going to take more patience. Thank you

[jaygovender]

I’m so do all of the above before even hearing this video. Maybe because I am generally a very caring and compassionate person.
I can be firm and cheeky...but when it come to my bro who i am caring for, I could never be anything but kind and gentle. He was always an
Absolute not an ugly bone in him. Even now, his gentleness shows the man he really is. Drs suggested we give him something to decided against it. He just sits in the lounge, watching tv, no harm to anyone, and when he is ready, he goes to sleep again.
We are 3 adults taking care of him, my husband, our caregiver and I don’t want him medicated to makes them totally seen this in old age homes. Between the 3 of us, we can manage him. Thank you for all your tips. It helps me to see wherever I can improve, to make his life a little more comfortable.🙏🙏🙏

[bernardsebranek]

#3 I have that habit of asking mom what she wants to eat. Sometimes I just tell her what I am preparing, and then sometimes she won't eat. I will give her 2 choices whenever possible.

[leonjones]

My dad had vascular Dementia and died in Feb 2019. I wish i had known of this resource when i needed this. the Speaker on this video is 100% accurate with her advice for this topic. it's really good advice and seen several of these. This deserves deep thanks from myself for helping me to cope with assimilation g my experiences with this cruel disease.

[thereseward]

When my loved one with dementia is upset because they are frustrated - we say "we can do this together" (figure out what they want to say or what they want to do etc) we mention needs we have like "oh dear I need help finding my keys - hmm now where did I put those?" They might say "on the table" Thank you for your help now let's....together. Let's get dressed or let's find ... They smile because they have helped and are more open and happy about us helping them.

[lisas]

Who would give this a thumbs down? This was so helpful. Thank you so much. Good job.

[mohamedniyaz]

i am from india, only 5 months before I came to know my mother got dementia . my brother tourcher a lot to my mother by filling cases on her since then she was depressed . my sister took her jewels . I am the only care taker . I am jobless
need more videos like this

[NAHCACARES]

Thanks for covering these very difficult topics. Dementia is such a horrible thing to deal with.

[roxanna]

I was crying from frustration and your video popped up. Your knowledge is helping me. I'm so grateful to you. Thank you for posting assistance/suggestions to help our loved ones suffering from dementia.

[joyceluttrell]

This site is a true Can't wait to read more tomorrow

[dnice]

Thank you for the video. I had a break down yesterday. I broke down when nobody around. I started feeling really guilty because I can be mean sometimes to my dad. My patients get so thin sometimes. I am also taking care of a 3 year old son all by myself, without his mother or any of his grandparents.

I broke down and was telling myself how horrible of a person I am, how I’m a bad son and bad dad…. I needed to hear this video

[rhonaclark]

Thank you. Your videos are just what I need. My husband has Late Onset Alzheimer’s. I am trying to keep calm and have noticed short sentences are better than long ones.

[stablecircleh]

Thank you so much! My mother is has moderate dementia. She asked me to help her with her check book. Using your tips will help me to communicate in a way that is best for her. May God richly bless your work!