The Best Dating Advice No One Follows

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Get in touch in the comments below or head to...

[coniferous]

This is actually quite encouraging. So much of dating nowadays feels toxic but not this

[hatcakefloss]

I told my wife I wanted kids and a family on the first date.

[caleblarsen]

I told my wife 2 weeks into us dating that I was dating her with the intent to marry her. I also told her I wanted kids, etc., and guess what? She liked that so much she married me. 8 years and 3 kids later, I think I did the right thing.

[hanooi]

Yup, that is good advice. I did that with my wife and she was fine with it. If a woman runs screaming from your intentions, she was never meant to be anyways. It is ok to filter out the unqualified candidates.

Finding a spouse is like panning for gold. You must dump out the sand and debris to find your keeper at the bottome of your pan.

[lfruler]

Accountability, reliability and consistency are so important. It would truly change the world if everyone was able to practice these.

[thethdarcstar]

Boundaries, commitment, self-improvement, honesty

[DK-bmgn]

My wife and I never discussed marriage and children as objectives while dating. What I remember is her being excited to see me, and that I was excited to see her. We were engaged in less than a year, and married nine months later. After three years we decided to have a family. It’s been over 25 years.

[maenad]

As an autistic woman i practically always did this up front and before meeting my now husband those men ran from me so fast especially when they realized I wasn’t gonna be sleeping with those dirty rakes no matter how much they smooth talked

[PuddilyOops]

You also have to know what you want and I think this is an obstacle for both men and women. People think they don’t want a spouse and a family because culture tells them they want a career and marriage is archaic and doomed to fail.

[xGSxAmAZyn]

Chris... you have to start talking about divorce. Of course men run away when you ask about commitment.

[helenbostock]

Yeah that's cool stuff. When you're honest at least you know if he's a keeper or she a keeper. Lets Say I love a person I got to be sure that that's what they want. Honest will give you the answer. At least you have not wasted everyone time

[JimmyTheGiant]

This is solid advice i Said to my fiancée first date, important is that you need to stick to your word. Don’t leave her sitting on the bench for years - if you love her marry her

[kristinwood]

It is so important to be clear up front. I am not going to be ashamed to date with intent. It really helps save time and weed out people with different intentions.

[brianlong]

Women want to settle down when they are older, and half as appealing, men at this time are getting more access and don't wonna waste the opportunity to find something better just like woman did when they were younger.

A bunch of desperate people getting together so they ain't alone is not a good narrative to be pushing forward.
I've had male and female friends say they hardly get laid yet have someone new every week.
What they actually mean is I'm not sleeping with anyone I want to, but I'm filling the void with numbers, when that becomes hard I'll settle with who or what ever is infront of me....

[CenterCommunity]

Maybe a long time ago, but women now are dependent on themselves now. They make their own money, they run their own businesses, have their own homes. So what now? The only thing men can provide is atmosphere. Men, create an atmosphere of imagination/playfulness/light heartedness and just lead with just having fun in mind. And see her occasionally.

[ariannashrum]

Absolutely hit the nail on the head! My boyfriend (who I plan to marry) and I talked about this on our first date. No point in wasting your time on someone who doesn't want the same things you do.

[mollygrace]

Spot on. So many men and women rely on hints and hopes, then feel used and betrayed when the other person doesn’t live up to their secret expectations. Yes, some people straight up lie, but in most cases they didn’t.

[ShamelessFNGRL]

Boyfriend and I were upfront about our life wishes (and past traumas), met on facebook dating so my profile very clearly stated I was looking for 'the one', wanting the whole 9 yards. Upon matching he too confirmed dreaming of becoming a family man. From there on we opened our hearts and minds to find out asap whether or not we're compatible enough to raise a healthy family.

We met last June, practically moved in within 2 weeks (not officially or fully), and by the looks of it, getting engaged soon and married somewhere next year.

Communication is step one, and I personally never understood waiting 3 years to mention something you've always wanted. Why even enter a relationship if you don't know from the start where both parties might want it to lead/get out of it? Do you want kids? No? Then we'll never be a 'couple', and waiting 3 years to find that out is a waste of my fertile years.

[nobodyinparticular]

One time I had a first date with this girl - stunningly pretty, very smart, and 9 years younger than me. At the end of the date I told her we should see each other again because I want to marry her. One month later we were married. We’ll be celebrating our 11th anniversary in a few weeks.

It’s important to be playful about your intentions, but never hesitate to state them.

[barrycohen]

Screw these head-games. Break out of this insane system. I found a foreign wife who plays none of these nonsense games. Going on 20 years of marriage.