8 Signs Your Trauma Is Still Haunting Your Life

The signs of unhealed trauma could include: always choosing toxic relationships or difficult people, always finding problems in relationships, difficulties with trusting others, finding emotional intimacy or physical intimacy, and being self-sabotaging. Unhealed trauma can start as early as childhood trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, or other mental health-related issues. When you have post-traumatic stress or signs of unhealed trauma, you could end up sabotaging yourself and your relationships. By recognizing these signs within yourself or someone else, you could potentially save a relationship worth saving.

#ptsd

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Amstadter, A. B., & Vernon, L. L. (2008). Emotional reactions during and after trauma: A comparison of trauma types. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 16(4), 391-408.
Bower, G. H., & Sivers, H. (1998). Cognitive impact of traumatic events. Development and psychopathology, 10(4), 625-653.
Everstine, D. S., & Everstine, L. (1993). The trauma response: Treatment for emotional injury. WW Norton & Co.
Hansen, D. E. (2010). Intimacy, loneliness, and social withdrawal as a result of emotional trauma. Journal of Behavioral Psychology, 19(22), 114-120.
Herman, J. L. (1998). Recovery from psychological trauma. Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 52(S1), S98-S103.

[Psychgo]

Do you feel sometimes you're being unintentionally toxic?

[humanl]

1 0:42 you feel drawn to people who are bad for you
2 1:06 you’re always looking for the first sign of trouble
3 1:37 you have a hard time of trusting others
4 2:04 you struggle with emotional intimacy
5 2:31 you struggle with physical intimacy
6 3:00 you socially withdraw at times
7 3:27 you sabotage your own relationships
8 4:02 you can’t let yourself be happy

[chaoticweeb-]

Funny how I clicked on this right away.

[yourmortalenemy]

That person who gave me that one trauma that literally destroyed everything from my mental health to my grades. How can you sleep knowing that you ruined someone's life? Yes, it still haunts me every day and I can't move on.

[littlescribe]

As an adult child of toxic parents, things in my head are replaying randomly where things that everybody did to me all theses years are haunting me from time to time.

[avidhossanmansur]

3 simple practices that have helped me have a healthy relationship, a great career and most importantly accept and be at peace with myself.Despite coming from an extremely abusive household.
1. Going on long half a day walks in the forest.
This has really helped me think more rationally and not give in to anxiety, anger or worse substance abuse.
When walking I try to be totally in the moment and don't think of anything else. I just set a goal like a distant tree and walk towards it while controlling my breathing as I go. And the rest is just repetition. This has also has helped to keep my ADHD in control.
2. Building a second brain
This is basically a more advanced form of juourneling. I always have a pad on hand when I am thinking,
reading, or listening to podcasts.And I write down anything I deem necessary. This way I don't have to cramm my brain with random information and I have a whole library of ideas at my disposal whenever I need it.
3.Singing
Yeah you heard that right. As a healthy coping mechanism I sing while listening to songs. Just before clicking on this video I was singing to 7 years by Luksas Graham . This helps me whenever I'm overwhelmed with reality and gives me a scene of control and comfot.
For anyone reading this you are not alone in your suffering but nobody can help you if you dont even want to help yourself. And you have to learn to recougnise youtr own thought patterns, behaviours and tendencies to become a more inlightrnd individual. Living with trauma isent easy by anymeans but your past will always be a part of you you just have to learn to keep pushing forward no matter what.
Have a good day.

[derekkennedy]

The physical intimacy is the one I can relate to. I always had this problem with my toxic parents and my toxic aunt. I feel triggered by watching this video but I try and control myself because I know this is a step to me fixing my problems. Anything or anyone that tries to traumatize me, I try to put them away from my life because I've been tortured too much and can't bear it anymore.

[Barneyluvshisfam]

Ty for bringing attention to issues like this people tend to brush over them in society, but they are important and they deserve to be talked about. Ily Psych2Go <3

[JordaneSheridan]

Listening to her voice is like receiving a comforting hug.

[MrJimbissle]

It is amazing how deep and strong these wounds/issues can be. And how well they can hide. Waiting. My experience is that the worst of it only showed when I had finally found 'The One'. Suddenly stuff surfaced I had no idea how to deal with. Nor where it came from. My inability to deal made me ruin love. All I can do now is work though it, so if I ever get another chance, I can be a better me. I hope better for all you. It matters.

[kudidi]

Mann, the looking for trouble part really be out here exposing my feelings whenever I've tried re-socializing again after going through something haha

[AllyMcLesbian]

A lot of these apply to me, as a result of having a narcissistic father, even though he died years ago. One reason why I’m very hesitant to open up - it did affect my romantic relationship too, and when my partner died, I could only have regrets about not having opened up more and having been better to my partner.

[RestorativeRenaissance]

I’ve been working hard in therapy and by myself. I probably suffered from all 8 at one time or another but now I identify with only point 2 (always looking for the next bad thing) and 6 (withdrawing socially - sometimes but not as often as previously).

With hard work it really is possible to heal and this video is a great encouragement that even thought I’ve still got lots to do I’ve come so far.

[GetYourLifeBetter]

8 Signs Your Trauma Is Still Haunting Your Life
1 0:42 you feel drawn to people who are bad for you
2 1:06 you’re always looking for the first sign of trouble
3 1:37 you have a hard time of trusting others
4 2:04 you struggle with emotional intimacy
5 2:31 you struggle with physical intimacy
6 3:00 you socially withdraw at times
7 3:27 you sabotage your own relationships
8 4:02 you can’t let yourself be happy

[nocturnalbutterfly]

Wow, this came at the right time. This is how I’ve been feeling. Im haunted by the hurtful words and actions others have done to me. I have fear of the world and tried to avoid people overall. I dislike myself because of the guilt and blame I put on me. I became afraid to be happy and deserving. I appreciate hearing this at the time I have begun to heal from my trauma. I decided to finally begin now.

[alexistourand]

I struggle with trust issues because people I trusted most ended up stabbing me in the back. I also struggle with intimacy because of both childhood abuse and neglect (the abuse wasn't physical or sexual, btw), and because my father and stepmother were so caught up in their love lives that affection of all kind became foreign. While I do live with my mother and stepfather on a permanent basis now, these issues really mess with my comfort zone with the way my family works, and I had to end a toxic friendship with someone. While I have gotten a little better at responding to affection, the trust issues still remain. I have friends who are friends with the aforementioned toxic friend, and though they say that he's changed since I ended our friendship, I don't trust it because in the past, I've trusted people who wound up betraying my trust, and it's almost "self defence" because I don't want to be hurt again

[stargateronon]

I have all of these.. well exept for physical intimacy. Over the years i learned to talk about my problems but not how I feel about it and that is my mayor problem right now.. I am breaking down when I do talk about how I feel about things.. the sadness still haunts me to this day.

[callmeenzy]

Yeah im aware my trauma is haunting me. Im fully aware its effect on my relationships. Neglected growing up, bullied at school where to the point i was gonna slice 3 people open lol but we moved to a different state and now gotta deal with that alone.. didn't let anyone get close to me cuz i fear they would either bully me or find out the monster i really am. The physical intimacy.. something happened to me and i just don't ever want to be touched that way. Ive tried to ignore it but all i get are flashbacks n shit. And getting cheated on didn't help either, and the cheaters were also my "close friends" barely talk to anyone now. Life is static. Nothing new nothing more. Its on repeat. Just one win can maybe start the quake but idk.. i lost interest in almost anything i used to do. I hate myself and lowkey feel like this is my punishment. I deserve all of this because of what i wanted to do, what i did, and the thoughts in my head. I wish i was born normal. I wish i could speak properly. I wish i knew how to love. Every girl i ever been with has told me that i dont know how to love.. that as soon as i talk about my issues, i just open the gates, not even a tour inside and they "yeah..." 9 days later and im still on delivered. It is what it is tho. I wasn't meant to be happy so i guess I'll live thru hell twice. Lucky me. Must be getting a kick ass seat to watch the souls burn til the end of time.

[ssjsimp]

I'm gonna be honest, I've tried multiple times to create conflict with my close friend, or an excuse to give the silent treatment. Idk, just them begging me to talk to them makes me feel superior, ugh it's disgusting I feel this way. And trusting people is so hard, even the closest can betray you with the right motive. It's really difficult knowing that you're the only one who will stay with you forever and that you're the only one who will never leave, and has always been there for you in this world where one day you can be bffs, the next you'll be nemesis. Being too happy just doesn't feel right, it does feel safe. Because the world is all about karma, and perhaps balance. When something really pleasant happens to me, I just automatically braise myself knowing the next few days will be bad luck balancing my one day of extreme ecstasy .

[tionnajohnson]

This is exactly what I needed. I feel like my perception of myself isn't accurate to who I am now it's like I still see myself as my younger insecure self like I forget who I am or I'm still not sure? I really wanna go back to therapy because my past of being bullied is definitely affecting my perception of myself it's like I'm still in that mindset. For example I'll think about doing something then I'll think about how I would get treated/how others would react if I did it in my past. And then I won't wanna do it because I get scared I'll get the same reaction I used to (hopefully this makes sense).