I still have anxiety.

I haven't talked much about my anxiety since I had a pretty bad episode back in 2019. In this video I wanted to chat about how things have been going, some of the things that have helped me, and encourage you to prioritize your mental health.

[mattdavella]

Here are the 4 key practices that I mention in this video that have helped me get through the worst of my anxiety.

👀 Become aware: The diagnosis was the first step for me. Once I knew the root cause of my symptoms, I stopped trying to suppress my emotions and focused on how I could manage my anxiety. By strengthening my self-awareness, I was able to observe the things that caused my anxiety to flare up so I could minimize those behaviors (watching the news, checking social media, working too much). And sometimes, I learned there was no cause at all. This helped me navigate and understand my anxiety better.

🐢 Slow down: Most of my anxiety stemmed from the overwhelm and pressure of my work. I realized I had a choice: I could either burn myself out and throw my mental health into jeopardy. Or I could slow down and find balance (perfection was not an option). Now when I set goals for the year, I prioritize my mental health. And I’m also much more flexible with deadlines. This is difficult when you’re an ambitious perfectionist like myself. But it’s crucial for not only doing work you love, but having a life you love.

🗣️ Open up: It’s tempting to keep your anxiety to yourself out of fear that you sound “crazy” or “no one will understand.” But keeping things bottled up is only going to make you feel more isolated in the long run. Try talking to a loved one, a therapist, or even journaling your inner dialogue onto the page. When I confided in Nat about my anxiety, she told me my feelings were valid. She listened and helped me process what I was going through so I knew I wasn’t alone. Now when I feel my anxiety reaching a tipping point, I know I can turn to Nat. And that’s made a huge difference.

✌️ Let go: Even if you follow all the practices above and more, you will quickly learn there are some things you just can’t control. Sometimes, all you can do to get through your anxiety is to lie down on the floor and let yourself feel shitty. Instead of fighting it, accept how you’re feeling in that moment and let it wash over you. Know that there’s a difference between being “tough” and being “strong”. Strength comes through acceptance and courage. “Tough people” suppress their emotions, only for it to come flooding out to a worse outcome in the future.

If I can leave you with one thing, it’s this: anxiety & depression aren’t things you need to be ashamed of. It’s completely normal and it’s way more prevalent than you think. Too many of us spend years struggling in silence. But you don’t have to hold onto the weight all by yourself. Let us know how you're feeling in the comments.

[paddygalloway]

Thank you for making this Matt. Can’t even put into words how much I relate. YouTube and just general entrepreneurship is so hard with anxiety.

[CHEFPKR]

A few years ago while working a corporate management job I was having periodic panic attacks from mild to severe. I realized my job, schedule and work life balance were horrible. Once I left that environment things started to improve drastically.

Here's to hoping you manage, sir.

[JeremyBec]

Thank you so much for this video. For the last few months I was feeling really overwhelmed, having so much stuff to deal with. Wanting to be perfect, wanting to get better at this or that, taking care of this problem etc. You helped me pinpoint the cause of my anxiety : I'm just feeling overwhelmed right now and I'd like to throw away all of my responsabilities, get into a cave, hoping that problems will magically go away by themselves or that someone will do my work for me. Obviously I can't do that. lol
I relate to the feeling of waking up and having no energy and having headaches. However I've realised recently that I simply can't be happy or feel calm when my life consists of to-do lists, of things that "I have to do or else I'm just a fucking failure as a person and I have so much more potential".

Life is more than that man... We're not supposed to work our ass off trying to be a "good person" or to be "successful" and feel terrible while doing it. We're supposed to have fun, and enjoy life.
There are some responsabilities that can't be avoided, it's just life.
However I believe as perfectionnists we have such high standards for ourselves that it ruins all of the joy from life. We probably won't meet all of those unreasonable demands which exist in our mind and if we ever do, it'll never be enough. Even though we've succeeded at something, there's always more to achieve, more room for self improvement.

And the worst part of this story is that we often do that because it's our way of saying "I deserve to be here." You don't need to be successful to be worthy, you don't need to talk 10 different languages to feel worthy of walking on this earth, you don't need to have gigantic biceps to be worthy and you certainly don't need to waste your life trying to be someone just to feel like you have the right of living just like anyone else. We deserve to be here as we are! With our flaws, our shortcomings but also our qualities and all the great things about us (which we often forget when we're so critical about everything we do).

We mistake doing with being. We believe that doing more will make us more happy, it's just a freaking lie. And it'll continue to remain true as long as we associate our happiness with how others see us, how much money we make or if simply failed or not at something. It's so difficult because our parents, grand parents and so many more made the same mistake. In some families unless you do that specific job or you earn that much money you're not worthy of love. We think we're at fault but our own parents will also think they're not worthy of love unless they do x or y.

I'm freaking done with this. This video made me realise I needed to stop running a race I always end up loosing. I'm not perfect and I probably won't achieve all of my goals and that's totally fine. I don't have to. "shoulds" are fucking poison to the soul, period.

[azmainyousuf]

I just wanted to thank you again for keeping this channel ad free

[ce]

As a therapist, I can't thank you enough for talking about this stuff in your channel. Probably, while watching this video some people may think "wow, this is what I have, that's how I feel" and it's really important to say something to that people: IT'S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT.
Even I, being a therapist, needed help a couple of years ago and started seeing my own therapist.
Thank you, Matt, for being so open about something that is not easy to talk about and for bringing people the push that they may need to ask for help and start healing.

[kevinandris]

Hey Matt. Last summer I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in psychiatric clinic. My symptoms of anxiety and depression got too bad that I even experienced 1 panic attack and considered suicide when my symptoms were more severe. The reason things got so bad was because I tried to work at the same time I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Trying to work made me just feel worse day by day until eventually I had to quit the job. I remember being in psychiatric clinic explaining my bad anxiety and depression to the doctor there and when he touched my hands, he noticed how sweaty my hands were. He then calmed me down that things will be back to normal and I remember how he said "Promise me you won't give up (he meant that don't end your life)". We then shook hands and I got my antidepressants for depression and anxiety the next day. Seriously he was one of the coolest doctors I've ever met. He made me actually commit to waiting for the antidepressants to take an effect and not give up. Here I am almost one year later with stable mood and barely any sign of anxiety. I want to say one thing to anyone out there with depression and anxiety. Please don't ignore it!

[filippovicini]

Hey Matt I am a 15 years old Italian Teenager, last year I went through the most drastical change of my life: I moved to another country almost 8.000 km away for my dads job.I left all my friends and confort home for the expirence that I was really happy of. When I arrived to Mozambique (yes that was the country) I felt a bit scared but also happy about making new friends and all so on. The fun part comes when covid made me go back to Italy with a charter plane and not being able to come there for the next 7 months. I decided to re attennd school in Italy starting all over again and as I begun again virtual lessons in december 2020 we decided to visit my dad back in Africa. I think it was the best moment of my life, I discovered all the system of productivity, self development and controlling the emotions. I notice that I was extremely anxious in the past and never realized my feeling. Thanks to you and many other content creators I really found my identity learning to meditate or even create a productivity system.
I am really proud of my work and nowadays I am feeling really lonely and just want to speak to someone.
Sorry for the english errors, I am still learning this language.
Hope someone will read this and learn that they can also make a change in their lives
Thankyou matt

[ICEcoldJT]

“Remove expectations from people and you will remove their powers to hurt your feelings. If you don’t like something, just take it away, it’s only power is your attention.”

[DANIMs]

Thanks Matt. Going through this right now. This video helped. I will start becoming more self-aware of how I feel.

[shicalista]

I used to work in web design and the pressure that was put on me was huge. I’d dread waking up and going to work and I wasn’t sleeping. I’d just start randomly crying and the people around me were telling me that I’d become really hostile to everyone. I was refusing to quit because I thought that was a sign of defeat, of weakness.
It took me falling asleep while driving and crashing to realise how bad it had gotten.
I finally was able to leave and I’ve never let myself get into a situation again.
Thank you for this video! We are really hard with ourself sometimes.

[AlexNozop]

You are not alone my friend. Lots of us suffer anxiety too. Best wishes for you and all the people with the same problem!

[deniseazimi]

I just wanted to say how much u helped me with my anxiety to the point where it seemed non existent. Last March I had the worst anxiety. Terrible panic attacks but your videos helped me so much. I focused on myself and I was able to become such a more healthy person in general. I don't know how I could ever thank you. U changed my life thank u for everything 💓

[FusionZGamer]

I appreciate you making this video. It’s a good feeling knowing we’re not all alone when it comes to dealing with anxiety. I’ll be sure to try these tips! 👍

[bruno.rodriguez]

Bro, as someone who loves your videos, honest to God, no pressure on releasing a certain amount of videos, chill, we’ll be here when you post

[anaisouarem]

I have anxiety and my surrounding family and friends aren’t that open about anxiety, they consider that it’s just... a momentary feeling, like anger.
I can’t talk with them as they don’t take my situation seriously, and by time passing, I started denying my anxiety and pushing it further deep in myself.
Thank you so much for this video Matt, it makes me remember that I am not just a « drama queen » and that anxiety is a real problem!

[KENZOkm]

I was literally lying on the floor before watching this! It helps a lot actually, trust me! It helps you rest your soul :)

[yashnagda]

My need of control and perfection has led me to very bad depression in July 2020 and its was really difficult but it thought me so much and i feel more empowered now.

The things i have learnt from that experience.
1. Having people around you who care about you and love you is really important. I have understood the value of my relationships and nurturing them.
2. You cannot control everything around you, cultivating acceptance and gratitude makes a lot of difference in day to day happiness and well-being.
3. Having a meditation practice everyday is really helpful in connecting with ourselves, observing our thoughts and mind develop a deep understanding of impermanence and it automatically leads to acceptance.

[raynjunaise]

honestly, people need to talk more about mental health and its great you are talking about these issues, great job brother.

[Fox-Paw]

"A man is not defined by his flaws,
but by how he overcame them"
- Mistborn