4 Steps to Stop Overthinking Social Interactions

After years of working on overthinking--called "post-event rumination" to us psychologists--I've come up with a 4 step process that has been pretty successful for me. I lay that out for you in this video.

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I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people improve their lives.

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[bbii]

Just the video I was looking for, a lot of nodding of the head. Self-compassion, the liking gap, focusing on my ethics and values and authenticity, and just trying to move on with life... all things I needed to hear to help put my anxiety in perspective.

[wonderwomanx]

I ruminate on the conversation, not because I embarrassed myself, more so analyzing them and how I presented myself and what I could have -should have- said or done and on… I’m def an INFJ so I’m sentimental and reflective. Its exhausting. Thanks for the video.

[AntonioLewis]

This is hands down the best advice I've ever heard for overthinking in the aftermath of social situations. I meet a lot of new people in my job, and every night i go through hell wondering if i said or did the right/wrong thing. Thank you for this content. I'd love to buy your book, but it might raise some questions with my wife haha

[wtpiv]

The liking gap so far has been the most helpful. I’m very deeply out of my comfort zone but I’m trying to hold myself out there until my comfort zone grows.

[keenpua]

It's wild how insanely similar the things you teach in this video are to what my NLP mentor teaches! I'm always fascinated by the similarities between CBT and proper NLP. I've also spent over 2 and a half years in the seduction community and 10 months in sales. I have roamed around sales, seduction, NLP, "charisma science, " interrogation, negotiation, etc. Your communication advice is top-notch. There's no reinventing the wheel with good information. I'm excited to have found your channel!!!

[JessicaFayToday]

Thank you for helping us re-frame our bad experiences. 4:23

[TechRevivalist]

found you in the art of manliness.. I liked how you explain things.. simple and not with fancy scientific or hip sounding terms.. I really appreciate that

[iggy]

This is my favourite video.
I do exactly this!! And just hearing someone talk about it, helps so much. Thank you 🙏🏻

[marilynoverton]

I do this all the time! Thank you so much for validation and education!

[stephanieherman]

i know a person with borderline personality disorder and she worries all the time that people might look at her and think bad things. as a result she only dares going outside of the house when she is in makeup and dress. i was wondering if those 4 things from the video could be used by her to soften that believe that she has to look flawless before leaving the house. i mean, it is some kind of overthinking, no?

[RaZziaN]

any info how to fight social anxiety in competetive gaming ? It's prelevant is forums i see on the daily basis and something i also struggle with.