Confusing Things Men Say | What They Really Mean

#jonathonaslay #datingadvice #relationshipadviceforwomen

Get Him To Commit Before Sleeping Together (The Dating Vow)

Have you ever heard the saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?

The "Dating VOW" Before Sleeping Together

I ___________________ agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next 3 to 6 months.

I ___________________ agree to be monogamous sexually while we have regular sex together.

I ___________________ agree to not actively seek to meet/date others while we are in this dating process (including taking down dating profiles)

I ___________________ agree to speak up if this isn't working for me vs. pulling back, ghosting, or disappearing.

I ___________________ agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you, which looks like this _______________

90% of men will bail on this because thousands of women will have sex without any commitment/agreement whatsoever. If all women are banned together (from now on), this will change how men treat/view sex, but in the meantime, if he does agree, you have a better chance of commitment than without it. (btw, this is merely an opinion)

[kimclarkson]

If he says he does not want a relationship, believe him! Don't engage any farther because he will never commit.

[rs]

Been through endless texting via a LD relationship but it became an insult & I had to make a difficult decision & shut the whole thing down. I’m so glad I did this as hard as it was. I went medieval on it, tbh. Tough.

[klab]

I feel that this guy I’m interested in feels the same way. I have not confessed my feelings, but we have gone on a lot of “hangouts” that felt like dates. Him and I begun as friends, to which I found out he had a girlfriend and pretended it was never my intention to show my interest in him. I became his friend first. However, over a month ago he got out of a break-up to which we were already great friends. I decided to invite him out to cheer him up and we had a great time. We studied together for our exam week, we’ve texted back and forth and have made more plans to spend time together.
We’re both open with each other about our personalities, but not necessarily our feelings. We both have avoidant attachments, so even though the last “outing” we had that was the most date-like; we drank together, linked arms, made seductive comments to each other, and at one point while laughing together he touched my thigh, so I did it back, it felt amazing. We’ve listened to music a lot together, but I’m so confused because I’m normally better at vocalizing my feelings, but again, he got out of a break-up a while ago (his relationship was a year long). So I don’t feel right confessing. But knowing him, I don’t know if anything will happen any time soon. Is he a red flag? Do I wait longer? Do I just take the chance?

[ersheri]

I was randomly listening to music
Came across an old Beatles song that had an amazing message that I didn’t get when I was younger.

I'm looking through you
Where did you go?
I thought I knew you
What did I know
You don't look different
But you have changed
I'm looking through you
You're not the same
Your lips are moving
I cannot hear
Your voice is soothing
But the words aren't clear
You don't sound different
I've learned the game
I'm looking through you
You're not the same

We have to pay attention to the signs. Often we think they have changed but in reality they we’re always that person. I learned this but really late in life.

[lynnolsen]

I found things I need to hear in this video: I also liked that there were no rants about 'how people behave' It was objective for the most part and with a calm delivery even though passion for the topic still comes through.

[jenniferl]

Great video. Jonathon. I did meet a nice guy but he is dealing with a health issue (not sure why he is a dating app if that is the case) - he was upfront about wanting to meet soon - we talked on phone/face time and are social media friends lol. I told him we could stay in touch, but I'm obviously connecting with other guys online because I want to meet someone. A friend of mine told me to ignore a man with health issues because we don't want to be a nurse. I actually disagreed with her - I would hope/assume the man I marry would be there for me if I got sick.

[How.Dare.You.]

Taking it slow makes sense when they actually want to spend time with you instead of ghosting and pulling away after getting close

[mtdebh]

One of your best videos. Thank you for speaking as an adult to other adults. Your passion and compassion is appreciated.

[karenhackbarth]

Hello just woke up and got the last five minutes. Gonna start over I want to thank you for your hard work to help this thick skull

[lindajones]

Jonathan this really has resonated with me. I’m seeing someone right now that seems really smitten with me. We are spending time together and getting to know each other. We are both retired so making plans isn’t an issue. However he has had some health issues that concerns me. He’s hiding his age granite it’s only a number. It does bother me when men are reluctant to tell you how old they are. Maybe you can explain this to me. Otherwise your session was absolutely worth hearing today. Thanks 😊😊😊

[loganross]

I don’t want a relationship
I don’t know if I’m capable of a serious relationship
I’m open to a serious relationship with the right person
Let’s take it slow
When I see it I’ll believe it vs. When I believe it I will see it.
When they enter into a relationship and then say, Let’s take it slow. They have been hurt in the past and need a long time. They think they have you hooked to string you along. Men are intentional and territorial. Usually means he doesn’t see you as the one but wants the benefits.
Open to sex with that person who has demonstrated trust and commitment.
Dating vows. Before you are too deeply involved with each other. Intentionality. Request before you invest your heart in someone.
Relationships that lead to partnerships. 🌷💕✨😊🌷

[Queenconsciousness]

Hi Jonathan!!! I can't resist posting a comment after viewing your videos. I want to say thank you for your continued support!!! Everything you have said in this video was done to me by one friend who I thought was someone special. I have a copy of the vows...I know these will be very helpful for me. Thanks again and many blessings!

[margaretcampbell]

Sometimes I think in the past I may have done the therapy thing with men, not healthy. Thanks for bringing this up

[HillaryHarris]

Nope - my 'being the one to change that' days are behind me!

[veracarranza]

You’re awesome Jonathan!thank you so much for your time and for giving us truly genuine advises ❤

[judyb]

So much of that these days. They don't really make much of an effort. They reach out if they are bored or lonely with no intention of finding a real relationship. I can't get a guy to commit to even one day a week.

[dinalubin]

Excellent and super helpful video.
Thanks, Jonathon!

[LisaGemini]

Great video, Jonathon! I wish more guys were as emotionally mature as you are. When I was dating my ex many years ago, it took me 8 months to trust him enough to sleep with him. Obviously he was motivated to be with me. So now when I meet these guys who can't even be bothered to pick up the phone and ask for a date, I'm disappointed. I wish you could teach more guys some personal development. BTW I have never heard any of those confusing phrases but I can see what BS they are!

[pixie]

Excellent advice. How about ‘I’m not good at personal relationships’?

[underconstruct]

I got that, "you're going too fast." Yet, I didn't realize that he was subconsciously trying to get me to be in love with him since he kept telling me not to be in love with him. He was trying to hide the fact that in his country, many cousins marry each other. Yet, he kept doing both: doing things to get me jealous, and tell me things like asking me to love him like a mother! The most frustrating relationship I have ever had. He always kept looking deep into my eyes and more. Maybe he wanted sex? He referred to me as his therapist one day, but I didn't get that. He said, "my therapist is fixing me up to get married." He looked so serious when he said that.