Confusing Sh*t Men Say (And What They Really Mean)

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For today’s brand-new video, I asked you to send me the “most confusing thing a guy’s ever said to you,” and you didn’t disappoint.

From classic excuses to creative new ones, you’ll learn how to figure out whether what he’s saying is actually a red flag indicating that he’s just looking for something casual with you, or whether it’s safe to proceed. Together we’ll walk through 9 of the top excuses so you know how to spot them in the future and avoid unnecessary pain.

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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 – 0:43 – The Most Confusing Things Guys Say
0:43 – 1:36 – When They See You as "Someone to Marry, Not Date"
1:36 – 2:47 – Confusing Flattery and "I Like You Too Much to Date You"
2:47 – 5:01 – When They Jump Ship Then Return
5:01 – 6:20 – "Let's Take It Day by Day": Wanting an Experience Rather Than a Relationship
6:20 – 7:10 – Dating With No Intention
7:10 – 8:25 – When They Say "You're Too Independent"
8:25 – 9:28 – Pandering Statements
9:28 – 12:21 – Actions vs. Words: "I Can't Give You a Title but I Act Like Your Boyfriend . . ."
12:21 – 14:22 – The Classic: "It's Not You, It’s Me."
14:22 – 14:51 – Sticking to Your Reality
14:51 – 16:43 – Special Offer

[dayanamarconi]

Last time a man told me "It's not you, it's me", I answered "You're right about that" and I walked away and ended the relationship myself. It happened a few months ago after tons of mixed signals, I got simply tired. I deserved better.

[barbarawinslow]

Guys are not complicated with their communication. If they want you, you'll know without a doubt. Mixed messages mean they're not interested. Period.

[GeorgiannaMiller]

My ex-husband used to say "I don't want you to be upset, " but he didn't mean he was going to change his actions accordingly. He was just telling you not to be upset anymore.

[BrettWoodPiano]

Man here. I never say any of this crap but I know there are men who do. Don't waste your time. There are plenty of men looking for a girlfriend who would be happy to label you as such and commit to you. It is hard to find, even I have struggled finding commitment from women as my ex fiance recently broke things off as the reality of commitment set in...but you and I deserve secure individuals who aren't afraid of intimacy and commitment. We don't have to settle for less. You aren't being needy asking for love and commitment

[mirandah]

Men have gotten really creative with ways to say "i don't want to be in a relationship with you"

[lnilsson]

My advice to other women here is get grounded in your values. Regardless if you want to have a monogamous relationship, an open one or be single. And hold men accountable for what they say and do.
If someone says antything like this,
believe they only want sex, affirmation and attention. And if you are ok with that, remind them that THEY are just an option to you aswell. No double standard.
If you are looking for more, state it and say that you would appriciate if they stopped wasting your time. Some guys have a hard time respecting boundaries once you actually see through their BS and let them know they are replaceable. They will get anxious and clingy and chase you.
The block button is your friend.
Keep out of toxic relationships and situations where only one of you is being honest ❤

[lstockton]

I've decided--I'm not going to be confused by men anymore. If he can't be clear about what he wants and if it doesn't line up with what I want, I'm not going to try and figure him out. Mature, ready men know what they want and can articulate it. Don't make me guess especially when I'm very clear about what I want.

[kristenmoll]

I'm just going to repeat Matthew's words at the end there, "You just need to stick to your reality (don't get distracted by their riddles) if this person isn't commiting and they aren't giving you very much, they are not showing up for you, they are confusing you constantly that's your reality. Regardless if they have reasons for being confusing and complicated are malicous or sympathetic it doesn't change your reality."

[talonm]

“People will give you their reasons
You need to stick to your reality “ love that ❤❤ it’s so easy to get swept away by trying to “help” or be empathetic when reality is they’re not right for you and they’re letting you know that one way or another

[silscr]

"Sticking to your reality." Great advice. I really wish I discovered Matthew 's channel years ago then i would have the wisdom without the destructive pain to teach me. There was this "nice" guy, he's really nice but he's not good. I used to make excuses for his actions towards me, because I wanted to believe he's a good person. But he's not, I should've stick with my reality.

[adilahaz]

He said "I need to do soul searching to know what I want." Translation: I don't want a relationship with you but I want to string you along indefinitely. Dump his ass after I figured it out 🤣

[LA-cmuo]

"You're too independent for me!" I have said this to my boyfriend when we first started dating. What Matthew says, as always, is spot on. It was because I was USED to my ex who was on the emotionally needy side. Getting un-used to a relationship takes time and effort, but it's absolutely worthy. Now my boyfriend is still independent, but I just became more independent to match him. And we work wonderfully together.

[SteffiMendes]

Who here is binge watching Matthew’s videos? ❤❤

[cindyjean]

This channel, hands down, is my favorite…
I trust the kind -no nonsense advice…

May God bless this channel and each person who is looking for the answers they need…

[ictcomputersciencewithmiss]

Yeah I've been in the "no title" situation and the "day by day". Almost three months in it was just as easy for me to walk away with no emotional pain and his lack of commitment meant I didn't give more than I wanted to give. Remember girls he's made it just as easy for you to find the exit door and you're just as free as he is.

[Gabster]

When I first heard, 'it's not you, it's me' to me it states there is nothing wrong with the person on the receiving end of the breakup but the person who wants to end it knows they can't give them what they want anymore.

[rockymountainskies]

This is what men say as a disclaimer so when they treat you badly later they can go back and say.... well I told you I wasn't a good fit. It's your fault you stayed and got hurt. It's a way to pass off any responsibility for treating another person badly.

[mimi]

He blocked me out of nowhere, then texted me a few weeks later saying he was toxic and he was being the bigger person by doing this. What you said about riddles is sooo true. I tortured myself for months trying to decipher what he meant by that, it’s pointless because that person’s words and actions aren’t matching up.

[pinkette]

"I like you too much to be with you", I've just taken it to be that some people know they're too messed up to be a good partner, and I'm glad to be told early enough to get out than get my heart even more broken later down the road.

[lunar]

Omg yes! Can we please have an updated reboot of the ‘what he says vs what he really means’ video for both girls and guys?😊😊😊. Lol gosh that feels like forever ago, but clearly stuck with me all these years later. Absolutely loved it 🌸