One question to ask yourself while dating

connect

shot by Eric Lombart

make ups by Caitlyn Brisbin

produced by Reed Hedani

grip - Melissa Gasca, John Lee, Megan Pham

sound - John Lee

edited by Zac Surprenant

gfx by Bethany Radloff

[gtabro]

That question... makes so much sense. As a guy I have rarely asked myself how a girl makes me feel as I always feel I need to be the emotions provider, but that's a rather mutual projection.

[galleryg]

The first thing my mum asked my sister was “was there a spark?”

[LordBloodraven]

My dad gave me the best advice for anyone looking for relationship: be the a most stress-free aspect of your partner's life.

If that person's crappiest day is spent looking forward to seeing you, then you're doing it right.

[thatnerdiscool]

But the question then becomes: Are the qualities that we look for the most actually the qualities that intimidate us the most? For example, great appearance, financial independence, creative mind, high status. These qualities, although GREAT qualities to look for, are often the same qualities that can intimidate us. In turn this can make us act to impress, rather than just being ourselves.

[AlaskaThundertuck]

Hey 3 therapists, a dating coach, and a life coach?
Queer eye but for the emotional guy

[lindamarialal]

The problem happens when someone’s actively seeking out for love... they’re always looking for clues and signs and feelings when it’s all about living in the present. Love isn’t something you need to fret your mind over, it should happen naturally. And the more desperate vibes someone gives off the higher the chance off messing it up
The point is we should first learn to be happy with ourselves and happy being alone.

[artiliciousx]

wow why are your videos always so convenient for my current situations?

[choco_moo]

this can go with friendships too. if you don’t recognize your feelings when you are with your friends then are they really your friend? i feel like if you are not compatible with someone as friends then there is no point in dating them as in your significant other is also your friend among other things.

[Alyssa]

anna is single for a few months and already has a dating coach lmfao

[gracefulnymph]

I'm in a 2 year relationship now and on the first date with my bf I felt very comfortable and safe. We have the same humor so we joked about memes the whole time. I felt like I could finally be myself. It might have been awkward at some points but only cause I didn't see this as a date when he invited me. Afterwards, I had the biggest crush on him for a while. Then we got together and it turned out he liked me for quite some time before already.

[TheAnthraxBiology]

That's so odd because I find that with everyone I know, they only consider their feelings in the moment and not the person or their compatibility with them.

[lunalovegood]

i love that you’re not afraid to ask for help and better yet, you’re not afraid to publicly talk about the help you’re getting!! it’s

[sheep]

God thank you for your wise videos! They help me so much to learn about my own feelings and develop as a person!

[rustinstardust]

This seems like really good advice for any potential relationship - not just dating. Work relationships, doctor/patient relationships, car-mechanic/customer relationships. If they have all these great qualities but you're not feeling it or feel something's off...best to trust your instincts. Thanks, Anna - and thanks, Anna's Therapist!

[SISILISM]

AHHH.... Anna.... You're a GENIUS!

[dr.hartman]

3 therapists
1 life coach
1 dating coach


Yep seems pretty LA to me

[hekoriginaljni]

I was so concerned when the only thing I could tell after the first time I met the guy was that I felt so warm and safe with him, as I have not felt in years, that I could've let myself go, forget all worries and just enjoy the being-together thing. I honestly thought it was the weakest basis for a relationship and I should've thought about similar interests and life goals, but now I feel validated for putting my feeling first. Thank you, Anna

[anewloveofficial]

You got a point Anna, just be yourself, don't change yourself in order to please someone, while dating you shouldn't be serious right away because you need to know him first before giving yourself completely in order to save your heart from future heartaches.

[estellyjam]

How often do you meet with all those therapists and coaches??? Your life seems pretty jam packed busy 😮

[monkiram]

I personally don't agree with this. I think way too many people focus on how somebody makes them feel which is largely a product of attractiveness and social status, and less on things that matter the most. Of course, feeling good with somebody is an important part of relationships, but I'm sure most of us wouldn't stay with somebody who doesn't make us feel good in the long-term. I think it's totally normal and okay to feel self-conscious and awkward in the beginning of a relationship, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with your relationship. My husband and I always say that our first "date" (when he told me he had feelings for me), was one of the most awkward days in both our lives lol, and I personally never enjoyed the beginning of any relationship for this reason, but after the self-consciousness goes away and we started feeling comfortable around each other, what really mattered was caring about each other, being friends and supporting each other through the struggles of daily life. And all those things are more dependent on the things you were concerned about Anna, like compatibility, shared values, etc. not on how we felt on the first date. All that said, I feel so happy when I'm with my husband and I'm so thankful that we have each other, even though the beginning of our relationship was definitely not Disney fairy tale magic.