Conflict Avoidance: What to Do When You Don’t Like Conflict

You need to stop avoiding your conflict avoidance. If I tell you that conflict isn’t evil and it’s not going to make you a bad person, destroy your relationships, or get you fired, what's your first reaction? If you're already feeling the urge to ostrich your way outta here cause you're getting uncomfortable… you’re probably in conflict debt.

What do I mean by “conflict debt?” Essentially, each time you avoid a discussion, debate, or disagreement that you should be having, you rack up conflict debt. If you should be introducing novel ideas to get your organization out of a rut, but you think, “that’s gonna ruffle some feathers,” so you stay quiet, you’re incurring debt. If you should be telling a coworker that they're not pulling their weight, but you just can’t be bothered saying something that might start a fight, that’s conflict debt.

I want to help people see the cost of avoiding conflict. I’m calling out the high price we’re paying to service that debt. I’m showing people how to pay off their conflicts in cash; how to use skills that make it easier to deal with the issue before it spirals out of control. And it starts with this video.

Watch this next:

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My book on using productive conflict to get your team and organization back on track (which is all about conflcit avoidance and paying down conflict debt!):

About me:
I've never climbed Mount Everest (and never will). So far, I've never been in space. I don't even have an Olympic gold medal (although I did win the Grade 9 Phys Ed award). But the prize for solving the most difficult team challenges is named after me (no, not really, but someday it probably will be).

For the past 25 years, I've researched and advised teams on how to achieve high performance. Known as the “teamwork doctor,” I've worked with teams from the frontlines to the boardroom, across a variety of industries, and around the globe from Boston to Bangkok. In working with hundreds of teams, including 26 Global Fortune 500 companies (and counting), I've developed a unique perspective on the challenges that teams face – and how to solve them.

Connect with me:

#psychology #teamwork #conflictresolution

[elizabethsauceda]

I am always looking for videos dealing with avoiding conflict and I am so glad I came across you. I have not found anything to be very helpful until now. This rang so true for me, this makes so much sense. I will continue to look for your videos and see what else you have to say on this subject. Thank you!

[sneakerbabeful]

Conflict only destroys everything. Employers refuse conflict. Friends refuse conflict. Family refuse conict. Arguing/fighting _destroys_ everything.