What To Do If Your Spouse is an Angry Person

Excerpt from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #544 | Dr. Ryan Martin

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[jamesrippy]

How’s this for a question? What if you’re usually a very calm person 90% of the time but when you are provoked, your anger can be scary and you’re married to a woman who is constantly provoking you with her nagging and her disrespectful attitude and bullying towards you?

[Case-DawgYT]

Love yourself enough to know abuse is harmful. Any abuse hurts and scars. I myself was homeless at 11 years old. Everyone I knew wrote me off as a failure. Said I was never going anywhere in life. Now as a father and husband and business owner. I get messages all the time about how proud and amazed they are of how my life turned out. I wish I could say when I read them that they make me feel good but they dont. My kids will never feel what that type of pain feels like. My wife will never know the man and the toxic mannerisms of my father either. Before you guys say we shouldn't judge. You dont know what goes on behind closed doors. Ill say this. If there's a snake or there is a stick laying right outside your front door. When you open it. You would walk differently around a snake than you would a stick. Thats not judging. Thats God giving you knowledge to know the difference between the two. #BeBlessedYall

[evef]

Angry people would take "when you yell, it makes me uncomfortable" as a criticism, which triggers more anger. The best way to create peace with an angry partner is to find their good and point that out. People strive to be what you expect them to be. Expect them to be angry and aggressive and point that out and they will only embody that more, point out and appreciate the times they show restraint and calm and they will begin displaying more of that behavior.

[Michelle.A]

I wouldn’t deal with an angry partner, the way to deal with them is to go your separate ways.

[hellkat]

Anger is an emotion like any other that all experience. How you express it is key.

[yettykitty]

My husband is both angry at the world and also is highly verbally and emotionally abusive to me on a daily basis.

People say “it takes two” but believe me when I say I walk on eggshells and do everything I can above and beyond to prevent the anger and pure fits of rage that he emanates. I’m also quiet, soft spoken, fragile, sensitive and I never raise my voice or swear.

Too many times to count, people in public have approached me asking if I need help or men have confronted my husband to try and intervene. Most recently, I was hospitalized for 3 days due to Extravasation from IV contrast.

Several nurses reported the abuse unbeknownst to me. The hospital called police and now he has a “criminal ban from the hospital property” for one year. It’s really bad but I’m trapped because I’m 52 and on permanent disability. I don’t see a way out and as time goes by, his anger only intensifies.

HELP!

[xanthippusofcarthage]

The restaurant next to my house sells “Angry Potatoes.” Delicious pan fried taters with jalapeños and cheese.

[jbearsbasement]

Is that alternate dimension Jordan Peterson

[evonne]

I had an angry partner and it gave me CPTSD. Real health problems. Now I cannot handle any stress at all and it's affected my livihood, my life. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Even if not "directed at you" it's abusing you. It's hurting you.

[Linda-icil]

ALWAYS, be with a person who brings you up in all relationships. An angry person is not worth staying with even if you love them, it will not be a happy life and that is a fact!

[MagnusGalactusOG]

Normally for anger issues I'd say start training in MMA or Jujitsu.
But for a wife that's a terrible idea because she will just end up cheating and ruining the marriage which is bad for her too not just husband and kids.

[Notyoubiz]

I’ll say it again. Don’t get married. It doesn’t get better.

[MicahThunder]

I appreciate your work Theo! I’d love to talk music and recovery with you.

[sunshine]

Basically, accept the things you have no control over… which is a whole lot. You’ll live a longer & much happier life.

[pinterestseason]

Adopt the word Temperance as your word for this new year and ponder it daily in your practice -> may peace and understanding prevail over anger 🙏

[RubeeRoja]

Respectfully just this short clip, that was a lot of words but none of them very insightful. But maybe it will inspire others to reflect on the issue in their own lives. The person that came to mind for me that's always angry won't go to therapy because they feel like everyone else is the but I tend to feel like if EVERYONE else is always a maybe after a while you need to take responsibility that you are the common denominator

[Sarah_lieve_meisje]

Super great vid, love how you keep it fresh.

[hellkat]

There are anger management books, groups and videos as to how to manage this emotion. Recognize when your anger is being triggered and use breathing techniques you can learn easily. Slow rhythmic deep diaphragmatic soft breathing while counting slowly with it in your head. Self talk is also good when triggered as an example say to yourself "this means i need to relax and initiate relaxation breathing". Disengage from the trigger source. example : If the beginning of a road rage is happening....recognize stop focusing on the other driver or traffic condition or light and breath. Chant a mantra...."this anger is a punishment i am giving to myself" and tell yourself to stop it & continue to do the breathing exercise. The key is become very aware when you have been triggered early and do breathing and relaxation before you get to the red zone. Another thing you can do if in a interaction with someone who is triggering anger is to pretend you are watching them on a TV and turn the volume down and the channel as this can very much help you to disengage cognitively and again utilize relaxation breathing as well. Tell yourself that you are not going to be the person who yells at a TV screen. Anger is a punishment I give to myself mantra is always a good one to run in your head.

[turboZ]

avoid short women they are usually the angriest out there

[kenleycares]

Im the angry spouse. I dont want to be. Im hoping im at the right place. Its hard. I dont want to drive my husband to come looking for these types of podcasts. My kids i want to be the mother that this beautiful man needed. Im afraid.